A Sad Story.......

A friend of my wife's just had their sleeve done a couple of weeks ago. She's already gone to mashed potatoes and other slider type foods. She has not been educated on what foods are triggers.  The simple fact is some people will beat the sleeve.  You know better than most that this is a tool. A change in life style is necessary and needs to be permanent.  Your friend, for whatever reason has chosen not to make those permanent changes. We've all faced those challenges and will continue to face them the rest of our lives. 

Our compulsion to eat can be as strong an addiction as drugs.  I've had personal experience with both.  I've beaten one with the help of some very good "tools" and friends and now I'm working on beating another. 

Yes, it is sad but all we can do is learn from failure ( our own as well as others) and strive to be successful.  I am 5 months in to my sleeve and wake up every morning with a plan. Sometimes I deviate from that plan but I try to move forward.  All of us who've had this surgery face this. For some its easier than for others. For those who it's not, we need to continue to encourage and mentor.  

I see from being on this forum now for six or seven months now that you've been doing a pretty good job of that.  Just keep doing what you're doing. Your friend has lost his way but he is not lost. 

Was he reaching out to you as the reason for this meal together? Or did he just notice how much you have lost?

You can't fix him, and if he isn't willing to do the work or set boundaries... well then you can't help him either.  

But if he is motivated, then maybe he needs a heart to heart (and maybe couples counseling) with his wife. He probably also need individual therapy to deal with his own demons.

Then if he can muster the willpower he needs to speak to some new docs, get a new food plan, find a support group and maybe ask to see his surgical notes so he can see what size the doc used. Is he feeling "real hunger" or just eating when he wants until he can't eat no more?

Sad.

I know nothing about bougies, but I know that I am still restricted. I cannot eat a chicken breast!

This process is not just physical for many people. Whether they know it or not, this is very much a mental process.

Very sad.  I hope he gets something revised and can try to eat better and more on plan.  I cannot imagine eating as much as he ate now that I have my tiny Sleeve.  I would eat a little less than 1/3 of the chicken breast.  I can only have a few bites of dense protein.

Sadly there isn't a lot you can do.  Even when the surgeon does it correctly it is still up to the patient to follow through.

I have a person posting on one of the f/b pages I admin and she needed a sleeve to sleeve and guess who her surgeon was?  Cirangle.  Doesn't mean he did anything wrong, it means she wasn't ready to give up food quantity yet.  A stomach is a muscle and like any other it can stretch a huge amount.  As you know, surgery doesn't fix our heads. ;)

I agree with what you are saying, but something is strange about the person's story.  Unless something has changed, Dr. Cirangle would not consider (I don't think based on things that he has mentioned in group) doing a re-sleeve of a tight sleeve.  He would convert it to a DS or put a band over it but I think he thinks that re-sleeve surgeries are just too dangerous.  It is possible that I am wrong, but I seem to remember him saying something to this effect. Again, your main point is spot on.

This was very interesting to me, as I have had very few food-related problems - -threw up once (ate chicken too fast) and foamies once (smoked turkey early on).

I am at 9 months and I think (if I recall correctly) my sleeve is a 36 --which was fine with me because of my history of reflux.  But I can tell you with a large degree of certainty, based on reading others' experiences, that I seem to have a lot more capacity than I expected.

Luckily, I still don't have big hunger, but I have to be very careful with portion control and I absolutely MUST eat a solid protein first (with no "food lube" ) in order to have fullness. That means no salad or veggies, etc.  Now, I don't always do that, which is also how I know how easy it will be for me not to get to 100% EWL if I get complacent.

But, on the other hand, this is EXACTLY what I signed up for.  I knew I would have the ability to have any food I wanted (and NSAIDs), and that I would have to be very careful.  Now I am learning just how careful, and it's not easy.

I hope your friend finds the support and techniques, or even additional surgery, he needs to be successful. 

Frisco, I remember you mentioning this person a while back. My heart breaks for him. He obviously did NOT get the same surgery you did. Sounds like his nutrition was lacking a lot too. I hope he can get his eating on track and perhaps get some surgical help as well if he so chooses and it can be done.

I realize now how very lucky I am that I ran across OH and learned so much about food and VSG eating. I also realize that I lucked out big time getting a small sleeve with great restriction because I chose a surgeon that did NOT have an excellent track record because I was so desperate to afford surgery and get rid of my diabetes. I gambled and won but it could have very easily gone the other way and I would probably be having a big struggle. I remember when I first got sleeved, I thought most sleeve stomach sizes were pretty much the same or differed by maybe an ounce. Boy, it didn't take long to realize that was not true and you guys were absolutely right. You guys have been there, done that, and seen a LOT.  I really really  hope that things start looking up for him somehow, some way.

So sorry, Frisco, for your pain....it hurts when our friends hurt, and he's hurting. 

I'm glad grayC brought up the wife issue....living in a home with 2 other obese people, who have not had wls must be, I don't know, for me it would be impossible.....if hubby didn't have wls with me, I would not have done it.  I know I would have been a failure.  As others have said, he needs counseling, with or without the wife.  People don't like change, and your buddy was changing....and wife and daughter didn't like that - it brought out their refusal/reluctance to come to terms with their own weight issues.

I hope things turn around for all of them. 

sophie

Jim was telling me this story about your friend at dinner the other night....so sad...hope he can get revision....size of sleeve def matters! I wish mine was as small as Jim's and Courtney's but I'm glad its not as large as some people's I guess.