Can't stop my downward spiral :(

I had my sleeve done two years ago. I've put on almost 40 pounds from the initial weight loss I've lost.  Every time I try to get back on program, I last a couple days and then eat poorly again and I'm  right back where I was.  I just don't know how to stop, where I need to find my motivation and my willpower.  It's really depressing me which just increases the problem.  I worked so hard in the beginning and had such great success and now I just feel like a failure.  Not sure what I should do.  

One day at a time. Focus on the current day do what you can to stay focused on the goal. Tomorrow will take care of its self. 

Have you seen your doctor lately? I haven't been sleeved yet, but when I was feeling that way with the band, my doctor was very helpful. He made sure I met with the nutritionist and set me up for frequent visits for extra accountability. I think being active on here may help you as well. By the way, my name is Amy and I live in CA too :-)

Get the word "can't" out of your vocabulary!  You can and have!  I find when I'm struggling to stay on track (btw I haven't had my surgery yet) it is easier if I make 5 days of food in advance.  Then I have a menu to follow and I don't have to make decisions.  Everyone on here will tell you to go back to basics.  Also think about finding a counselor to talk to. If you're feeling this out of control it's probably for a reason.

God bless, I pray you find your way back.

Are you tracking? You may find that focusing on a behavior other than focusing specifically on eating (but in support of it) may help you.

What do you think the elements are behind you falling off the horse here? What can you do to reverse them?

Laurie

My surgery is in 4 weeks and reading your post really scares me. I have to believe that when you were in my position you made the very difficult decision to have this surgery. You probably said to yourself, as I say to myself, that I will take the weight off and never let it come back again. I am not in your shoes, so I cant claim to know what your journey has been like,. I can only say, dont go back to the place you came from. You must have done so much to run in the other direction. You obviously did everything correctly for a long time. Go back to what worked for you at the beginning. Dont make the surgery and all of your success be for nothing. THere are so many people that are paying out of pocket to have the surgery because their insurance wont cover it or they are going without when they could really use the help. You have been given a gift, just get back on the horse and ride like you did 2 years ago!

GOod luck,

Cheryl

I'm not sure what your eating is like, but if you've strayed from the "protein first" rule, that seems like a logical place to start. If I eat other foods first, I can eat more than when I start my meal with the protein. When I start with the protein first, I can usually eat about 3 ounces of protein, then only a couple of bites of vegetables. If I start with the vegetables, I can eat more of them (or other things that aren't as healthy as vegetables) and might not have room for the 3 ounces of protein I was supposed to eat. Did you track your food when you lost the weight? If so, then get back into tracking again. If you didn't, then start now. It's easier to see where your problems are when they are right there in front of you. Also, when you're tracking your food, track everything you put into your mouth. Whether it's 10 M&M's or 3 carrots. It's not too late to get the weight off again.

For me it's just choosing the wrong things to eat.  I know how to be successful it's just getting back in a rhythm.  I know I have a food addiction and the sleeve does not cute that.  It's just a tool and I have to use it.  I just seem to rationalize every bad choice I make and then feel really bad about it afterwards.  I'm just really frustrated with myself.  

I understand you.  I was in a 12-Step Program for food addiction on and off since 1999.  My suggestion is to join that group.  For me, I always think that if I ever gain any of the 100 lbs I have lost back, I would go running back to the group.  There is so much help and structure and accountability.   That is good you know yourself.  I know I am a food addict.  My mind is obsessed with food, but right now the Sleeve is preventing me from eating too much.  I am trying to do protein first, but it is so hard (chicken makes me ill).    http://www.foodaddicts.org/what-is-fa  If you cannot find a Sponsor who will work with your inability to eat a lot of quantity (of healthy food they eat), then try the Phone Meetings.  Phone meetings are less strict!  I hope you do something to get out of the spiral you are in.  Keep us posted.

Instead of trying to get back on program all at once, make a couple small changes that you can easily sustain. Then once you have those locked in make one or two more and so on until you are back on plan.

Start by getting rid of everything that you are eating that is easily accessible. If it is in your home get rid of it, if it is in your desk drawer give it away or throw it away. Make sure you pack your lunches and snacks for the time you are away from the house, then you will have no need to stop at a store and make a rushed bad choice or go out for lunch or worse yet hit a vending machine. Do some prep work to set yourself up for success. 

Try to fall into a routine. When things are routine they are much easier to make habitual.

Make sure to get some extra exercise.

What specifically are you having trouble with?