Christmas Party Disappointment

I had big plans for this Christmas get together with family. I am still only 3 weeks out, so I made a buffalo chicken dip (with alterations) that would be high protein, low cal, and satisfying because it's usually one of my favorites that my mom makes. It tasted great, no problem there, but I guess my sleeve isn't ready for what seemed to me to be a very little bit of spice. I was disappointed because there wasn't any point in my mom making anything else low cal because I was planning my food, so I had to go back to the same things I've been eating (a ham salad purée, which is tasty and high protein, and I could have eaten it anyway, but I was disappointed that I couldn't handle my big idea. 

My mom said she was impressed at my...(then she paused, unable to call it will power at this stage because I don't have a choice, really) but my attitude or dedication about/to it that I was a part of the party, I ate, and despite being disappointed, I didn't try to make wiggle room for other things. I did have a small cup of egg nog because my sister in law makes it and it is so very good, but it tasted a little too sweet, so as much as I usually like it and keep drinking it all night long, I had to stop before I even finished it. I guess some tastes DID change. I was convinced nothing had, but I hadn't tried anything sweetened with sugar until tonight, so it's at least good to know that sweet stuff will not be all that appealing, at least for a while. Maybe I can convince myself that I'm not a sweets person anymore, and they just won't draw me. 

keep moving on.

Word of warning: be careful trying things for the first time when you are not safe at home. i mean for the first time post-surgery. i had two super-bad reactions to sugary things, the heart palpatations, sweating, racing heart, thinking i was gonna die...so be very careful and don't eat any sugar, or anything you haven't already tested at home. I'm at least glad I wasn't in public. but once i ate two bites of a hot dog way too fast, it like midnight in a mostly-deserted food court at the Seattle airport. i paced around sweating and shaking before i threw up in my napkin. Sorry so graphic, but you get it. And stay away from sugar, at least for a long time. As long as you can possibly stay away from it, up to and including "forever".

Start a lot of self-talk, even if it seems stupid and you don't believe it. "i'm choosing not to eat that because it's not good for me and..." eventually it'll become a standard thought for you, i promise. it's a great tool that's helped me a lot.

And don't be in places where there are sweets, or whatever is calling your name. don't test yourself. really.

ok, keep motoring on!

A s for being disappointed that you couldn't eat what you wanted at the party, well.....yeah.....forget about having high (or any) expectations about food like that. just focus on what you need to do (vs. what you CANT do) and move on. we've all had to redefine what a "good time" is without globs of yummy food. So we feel ya. As you continue to practice all of your new skils, these kinds of things sort of naturally change if you let them. It becomes more about friends and family and all that good stuff, so hang in there.

I told my mom this holiday season of "can'ts" is going to prepare me for holiday seasons of "shouldn'ts." Since I have to do it this holiday, even though it's the first and it might make me feel like it's the hardest, I know I can't eat solids or stuff that's too bad. Next year when it's that I can eat anything, but shouldn't, I will know that despite the angry fat me inside screaming that deprivation is ruining my holiday, I will know that it doesn't have to. And I held myself accountable, and logged all of what I consumed. Honestly what disappointed me about the dip was that I made it healthy (and ate with a spoon, not chips) and I still wasn't up for eating it yet. I'm glad I wasn't stubborn and gave it up for a trusty standby. And I was at home trying it, so I did have a back up available and ate that instead. 

This early out nothing spicy or greasy will be your friend.  Your tummy will revolt :-).  As for not liking sweet tasting things now, eventually that will pass.  So be careful!

Congrats on a successful surgery - merry Christmas!

Thanks for your post. I am starting soft foods tomorrow (Monday). Your words have bolstered me to stick to my guns and no trying anything. I will try a couple of things tomorrow and if all goes well, I will bring them to eat at my Christmas gathering. I am very grateful that I only have one holiday gathering to go to this year...You had some great lessons! I am sure you will benefit from the experience! I know that I have benefited from your openess! Thanks you!!! 

I'm glad you got some benefit out of it :)

I know what I have to do to be successful, so I'm not going to lie and say food doesn't have a hold on me. Obviously it does, or I wouldn't need to be here. I am just trying to have a positive attitude about my journey, and even though pre-party, I was letting myself get all emotional about food, really while it was going on, the only thing that made the food part hard was having prepared something healthy that I knew I would like, but not adjusting the recipe for my still very sensitive tummy. I actually know that I knew better because I had planned to use a different sauce. Thinking back, I KNOW I should have. Live and learn.

Like you, I have recognized and accepted that food has an emotional hold on me. The good thing is that I know that I am not alone. I am looking at this journey like it is road trip across the country. I will have my navigation set up and programmed. Even with that, I could take a wrong turn. If I do then all I can do is get back on the right route. It does not mean that I have to continue on that wrong turn. You took a wrong turn, you learned and i bet you will be even strong for the mistake. Your determination to have what you need will be set in a strong foundation! You are awesome and strong!!! Flex those muscles!! 

I love the way you look at it! Thank you!

Please be patient with yourself, I remember being at 6 weeks and going back to liquids because my tummy was too sensitive, so be careful and patient with yourself and keep it as simple as possible.