Need some advice - trouble with BIL

Totally agree!

Can you BIL switch ins. companies?  Many do cover WLS.  Can he get Bliss insurance?  I was self pay and I purchased that.  The place doing the surgery has to be a center of excellence, though.  Finally there are medical loan companies.  He needs to figure his options, rather than have someone else do it for him.  We all know it's not magic.  Good luck,

 

Kim

Thanks for letting me know about this! I will mention this to my SIL/BIL.

Laurie

no wls is a shore cure for diabetes, if you are diabetic more than 10 years or on insulin more than 1 year my surgeon says that there is a good chance than non of the wls will completely cure it  

I had diabetes under control pre surgery  with insulin Byetta and 2000 mg metiformin a day since surgery 

in off insulin and byetta and my blood sugar is under control with just the metiformin , my pcp and endocrinologist  both say that if I continue to lose weight I may get off all meds 

 the vsg has the least chance of complications and there are some less expensive surgeons in Texas and los Vegas, and even New Jersey 

there are also  some great surgeons in Mexico but some people have problems with geting medical care at home after having surgery in Mexico , read the Mexico forum for more info on that

A good therapist might help him and might be covered by his insurance

I agree that psych is the best next step and will encourage SIL to get him to go. But, I know from my husband that these three boys are STUBBORN and will not embrace something like this easily.

I will suggest to my SIL that there are less expensive docs here in the US and see what I can find as far as names.

I appreciate your reply.

Laurie

I am one of the magically cured type 2 diabetics.  The day after RNY, it was gone.  My endo showed me the labs showing my pancreas working normally.

There are some who dont get healed.  Usually they have had it over 5 years, been on insulin, and on the heavier side.  There is no guarantee it would cure him.  To me, diabetes was ruining my life so it was worth it.  The exhaustion and such was making it hard to function.  Now I have a new start on life.

 

I hope he does something and takes care of himself. It is heartbreaking to watch and your sister will need all the support she can get. caretaking is a truly hard, thankless job.  I thank God I have some friends I can vent to and I can have fun with at times.:0) Good luck.

Thanks for replying. There are so many issues going on in that family. My SIL has made some extremely poor decisions regarding her marriage in the past year and that doesn't make it easier right now and is probably adding to BIL's issues. I do hope she is both walking the walk and talking the talk, but from 600 miles away it's hard to verify. I do appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Laurie

Laurie - kudos to you and your husband for being so supportive and putting yourself out there financially for this BIL.  My opinion:  you've done everything that you can and should do. You cannot convince anyone of anything until they are ready to hear the message - and he's not.  I think you're both right on that he's no where near ready to have this surgery.    

In 12-step lingo, you need to focus on keeping your side of the street clean.  Walk your path and continue to focus on your physical and emotional growth.  Don't take his inventory, don't try to fix him or save him.  We cause a lot of damage when we try to soften life's blows or steal the life lessons away from people.  He's on his own path and, although it may be painful to watch, he needs to walk it.  Maybe he has to lose more limbs before he's ready to listen and do the work; maybe he has to go blind before he's ready.  I wouldn't wish any of that on another person and I sure hope he decides to reach for recovery before any of that happens.  

And if you believe in the power of prayer, pray for him.  Pray for whatever universal power you believe in to soften his heart and mind and make it fertile ground for the lessons you are surely teaching through the way you live your life.  

 

Tracy, thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. It gives me a reassurance that we're doing the right thing here. And, thanks for giving me some new words to use in this situation. They will truly help.

Laurie

Glad to be of any help - and you are very, very welcome :-)