So scared!

Tomorrow is surgery day. 

I'm no stranger to surgery. I've had quite a few. For some reason, this surgery scares the crap out of me!! I've had a bad feeling about it for 3 months now. I have no idea why.

This surgeon did my daughter's surgery on Oct. 30th, and she has had great success. She had a sleeve, and the only problem she has had was an infection at one incision site. That's common and it healed beautifully. 

So why am I so scared? First, I had a nissan fundoplication 15 yrs ago for extreme GERD. He's only reversed 2 of these. Once he gets in there and starts, he will know whether he can do a sleeve or have to go full RNY. I guess not knowing which he will do kinda scares me. I'm all about planning and knowing ahead of time. Then, what if I have lots of scar tissue? Is this going to lead to problems down the line? Whole lot of "what ifs" that I have no control over and may just be freaking myself out. 

Then, his office staff are always screwing things up when it comes to my appts. etc. They don't call back, they don't call the pharmacy, they don't remember who I am, and that worries me. I know we all make mistakes, but this hasn't helped my confidence any. 

I don't have much support. My daughter is all I have. No family to help. Nobody to stay with me. Nobody to talk to when I'm scared. Ugh, need a little cheese with this whine???  My daughter got the day off to take me to surgery, but will have to work half a day on the day I'm released. I think!! We don't know for certain if I'll be in the hospital one day or two. Am I going to have to sit in the waiting area of the hospital for her to come and get me? We live over 2 hours away from the hospital. Can't stay the night somewhere because I have dogs at home to care for. 

Sorry this is so long, but I had to get some of this off my chest. Still scared! Somebody remind me this is the best move they've made and wish they had done it sooner. LOL 

It's the loss of control...I understand it.  We live rurally and coming home and being alone scared the heck out of me too.

Remember you researched and made this decision because it was good for you.

Your daughter has pioneered the way for you and you can expect great success.

The doctors staff is not the doctor and in the end it only matters what happens in the operating room and that you go home with the right prescriptions.

They will not release you from the hospital until you are ready and you can tell them there is nobody at home to help you.  They will make sure you are ready and might possibly to set up homecare to come and check on you (they do that in Canada if it's needed).

Are you kidding?  You have about a billion people on here to talk to at all hours of the day!  We have advice and support galore that we will hand out when asked.  You will never be alone here.

If you really get into trouble then you call 911.  That's what they are there for ;)

And no they won't leave you in the hospital waiting room...they have to wait until someone is there to drive you home.  They'll leave you in your room and they will give you notice of when you are going home.

And with my experience with dogs...they may not like it but if by some change they had to spend a night alone they will survive.  We had a car accident once in another town and it was about 36 hours before we returned home from the hospital.  My dog was locked in the house and I don't know how he did it but that wonderful beast waited with his legs crossed until we got home and then ran out side and pee'd up a storm.  He was just happy to see us and going without a meal and risking bladder infection didn't even phase him as much as his masters returning home.  That's why we like dogs!

You are in my prayers

Thanks Kekosmom. 

I know all that you said is true. I guess I just need someone else to say it then add, "and how are those thoughts working for you"? LOL 

You hit the nail on the head. The surgeon is the only one I need to be concerned with. He's no nonsense, which I like, and very confident. His track record is excellent, and he's never had a mortality or a leaker. That says something right there. 

Congratulations on your weight loss thus far. This surgery is the most amazing tool for those of us who can't shut down the over-eating by ourselves. This is my only option!

I needed a hug, and you provided me with one. 

The surgery will be fine. When an office has a poor follow up i ask them "If i dont hear from you by noon, I will call you!"...it is amazing how those phones calls are returned. 

I had my surgery on 12/3. It was an early 53rd birthday present to me! I was alone while I was in the hospital and after i got home. I had my cell and called my parents and chatted. I actually appreciated being alone. I was able to focus on my drinking and sleeping. My cats kept an eye on me. A friend came by every other day for a few days to empty the litter boxes and touch base with me. I told people that I would email them and let them know how i was doing and if I needed help. Being alone I was able to sleep when I needed to and just recover. By the fifth day I was up and around doing things around the house. 

 I am so glad that i have done this. The benefits are numerous!

• Healthwise: I stopped all my high blood pressure and cholesterol meds within the first couple of weeks after surgery
• Food wise: I am at the full stage as far as my food. I have happily made the transition to where food has become fuel. I no longer feel like I am being held hostage by food, craving and the need to eat to numb out feelings.
• Physically: I have lost 36+ since surgery for a total of 51+. My knees, hips, feet, and back do not hurt anymore. People tell me that I look young! (love that)
• Mentally: Wow! I feel great. I have gotten my "sassy" back and are starting to feel even "sexy".

As I look back on my experience so far, I would be more scared to not do the surgery than to do it. The first couple of days were challenging but in a very short time you develop a new normal. You eat foods that are nutritional and as a result you feel GREAT!  

Wow Kay! Congratulations on your loss so far. Looks like you are doing very well. Thanks for the reply, too.

Somehow, just typing all that out onto the board has helped me feel better. I guess it's because you all know where I'm coming from. Either you've already been there and done that, or you're considering it.

I think what helped the most was the comment the office staff has nothing to do with the surgeon's ability. It's so commonplace to them, and it IS just a job they go to every day. For us, it's life changing. It's our body being cut and our psyche that has to learn to live eating the right way!

You guys all ROCK! 

Don't judge your surgeon by his office staff.  My surgeon is extremely talented and compassionate.  The majority of his office staff are howler monkeys on LSD (no offense to monkeys).  Plus there seems to be a high turnover in his staff.   

You can "what if" yourself into oblivion.  Just remember why you wanted to have this surgery in the first place.  Yes, it's scary.  But for me, it was the BEST THING I could ever do for myself.  And yes, I wish I had done it sooner.  Don't waste another moment of your life.

Relax all will be well.  I didn't freak out until two days before the surgery.  I can tell you my life has improved so much since my surgery.  My health has improved dramatically and I'm a much happier less stressful life.  Remember, the stress and anxiety is normal and is temporary.  Do what you need to do to take care of you.  Hope all is well.

Thanks everyone. I am feeling better now. This forum helped with that!! 

I also found a surgery sister who is having surgery tomorrow too. We are texting each other and laughing about our "prep" we went thru today. 

This forum ROCKS!