*sings* 28 bottles of Dr. Peppeer on the wall...

28 bottles of Dr, Pepper... take one down.... pass is around.. 27 bottles of dr. pepper on the wall! Ok.. I'm counting down till surgery.. (27 days) and I'm loosing all control of my eating! Help!! I was able to get 30lbs off last year and have spent the entire year keeping it off. But when I got my surgery date I just lost all control. Has anyone else done this? Does this mean I'm not a good candidate after all? I know the difference between head hunger and real hunger. But right now I'm eating even when I'm full.. and I don't care. The last few weeks my stomach has hurt from being so stupid and over eating. Cookies... diet soda ( I like it better then regular.. and I think it's just as bad for you) fast food.. seconds and thirds on everything. I haven't done this in a long time... and I can't seem to stop. I know I CAN stop... I haven't lost control.. and yet my motivation isn't there like it used to be. Please don't get me wrong. I don't see this as a magic pill.. or secret passage to the world of being fit and healthy.. I know it's just a TOOL. I want so badly to be on plan. Please don't flame me.. I know what I'm doing is wrong... but I don't know WHY I'm doing it. I weighed myself today and I'm 314 lbs!!! I was 305 at the consult in last February. Dear God.. what have I done???? Please someone tell me they went through this?! I haven't been working out.. I've been sitting on my butt reading pages and pages of info on the surgery. I haven't done this since right before my first child was born!! I do feel like I'm about to have a baby,... only the baby is me. Packing for the hospital.. reading all the books.. buying the supplies. Cooking extra meals.. deep cleaning closets and bathrooms... Goodness I even have baby spoons in with my silverware again! It is all so dejavu. I need to get back on the band wagon of eating healthy... It's just that I'm so afraid of saying goodbye to these so called comforts! I'm thinking about writing out divorce papers.. or a goodbye letter to some of these foods. Has anyone every done that.. or am I just crazy? If you did.. what did it look like? Thanks all.. sorry for sounding so desperate. I just needed to get that all out. -Shakeira

Do you feel better now? We all have our issues and demons and we've all had to confront them head-on even when we didn't realize they were there. I wish you the best! Lori

Hey don't sweat it!!! I ABSOLUTELY had to go through a mourning period for food. I know it sounds insane but I did. My Dr required that I go on a serious low carb diet and loose 15 pound before surgery (or it was no surgery for me) so the week before I had to start with that I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted and after each thing that I knew I wouldn't get to eat again after surgery I cried a little and said goodbye. I think it is essential that you go through this period before you have surgery instead of after when you don't have the chance to have the last taste and say your good byes. It sucked and I was a mess but never once have I regretted that I did surgery or wondered "what in the world did I do, I never get to have this stuff anymore" because I had done it all before hand. You have to remember food is our drug and we really do have to go through a withdrawal. It's just as scary for us to think of going without our favorite foods as it is for someone addicted to cocaine to go without their white powder. Now all that said I think it is also VERY important that you do stop yourself well before surgery. The more weight you can drop before surgery the better. It will put your body into that frame of mind and again, it won't be such a shock after surgery. Just give yourself a time line. Say for the next week you're going to eat as much as you want of your favorite foods and when you finish each meal you'll say good bye then by the end of the week you'll hop back on the bandwagon and ready yourself for surgery. I hope that helps a little and good luck to you!!! Please feel free to vent anytime. Corinna Q

Thanks for you guys so much. I feel much better after getting all that out. Today I noticed that I didn't want to binge as much.. it's like talking about it made it less powerful. Last year I went through a study on food addictions. It's a bible study and it's been really helpful to me. So I opened it back up today and I just have to discipline myself to do it. I know it will help me. Food will never satisfy what I think it needs to satisfy. And I agree.. the sooner I have this addressed before surgery the better! I want to be under 300lbs at surgery. Even if I'm 299 I will be happy. Thanks again! -shakeira

girrl.. i have been doing the same thing- hitting the buffet at the casino - eating more junk than i have in the last year- i lost 40 and i think i have gained 10 back-my surgery is in a month- i know this isnt some kind of out of control thing- its more like a "i am never going to get to do thid again" thing you know whats going on just remember that surgery is coming soon- i was just thinking that today- that i better back off and get back on track- good luck