4 years ago

I have been spending my 4 th surgiversary working hard on a presentation on Obesity Sensitivity for a personal training class. That alone is representative of the changes I have been thru in the past 4 years. 4 years ago walking up a fight of staris left me tired and out of breath, now I work out strenuously several times a week., and am taking personal training classes ( to get certified as a trainer) 4 years ago I ate what ever. Now I am on a great, healthy eating plan that makes me strong and healthy. 4 years my health was in jeapordy from super morbid obesity, Now I am heathy and strong. 4 years ago I could only shop Lane Bryant, and pray they had the size 28-30 I needed and that something would be decent quality and not too ugly. and at 4'11" that something would at least be close in length of pants and sleeves. Now, I can shop anyplace and find more pretty clothes that FIT well than I can begin to afford to buy. In an 8 petite no less! 4 years ago I was tired and unable to really enjoy life or really get out and play with my grandkids. Now I have more energy than I know what to do with and I fit the slides and tunnels at the park, and I wore them out at 6 Flags Great America going on the rides. 4 years ago I was an invisible woman. Now I get doors opened and smiles that I never expected to happen. 4 years ago I was just existing. Now I am seeing so many possiblilities in life that I don't know which one to grab on to first. The past 4 years have been a roller coaster ride. Some times exciting, sometimes a little nauseating, lots of us and downs and twists and turns and surprises around the bend. 4 years ago, I never would have thought plastic surgery would be any part of my life and now I have had reconstructive surgery on just about every part of my body below the shoulders. There has been the unexpected - like the adaption to the new body and still working on recognizing my own body. Sometimes knowing I have body image issues and and not seeing what is real and others not seeing what is real and not knowing the difference. Who would have thought losing 130 pounds would take an emotional adjustment.? I thought it would be only happy and thrilling, but have sometimess struggled with the concept that I have lost a large piece of ME. It has also been unexpected when others say I am a completely different person and I have to say that only the package is changed, the soul is the same. The relly important things like my heart and soul, my capacity to love, and be loved, my intelligence and ambition all were there before. Then I wonder - Am I different? I have lost friends who now don't have time for me, and had people who were aquaintences suddenly become friendly. Both situations can be hurtful.

Haapy 4 years! And of course many more! Losing a lot of weight is not losing a lot of you....its just a loss of real estate which is just added space. I believe our transformances do affect us mentally as well as physically. Both are hard to identify by us but people close to us can see it. Its nice when they vocalize it too! I get a better understanding of where it is I was and where I am now. So many things have changed....I just love the idea of you being a personal trainer. You will be excellent at that! You have the passion to be a success! That is all you need! I am so glad you have been here for me with your kind words and thought provoking posts! Debbie

Willow, happy anniversary. You've set goals for yourself and accomplished a lot in 4 years. May you continue to experience the success you've had, I have no doubt you will. I think it's wonderful you are training to be a personal trainer, what a great way to pay it forward. Dana

Congratulations Willow! You are such an inspiration to so many and have helped others in so many ways that you'll never even know! Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your story! You always give well thought out advice and take time b/c you truly care about others! Hugs, Tracy B

I used to resent when others would say I was a totally different person because to me like you said it was just the package that had changed. But, one afternoon I sat down and really thought about it, and they were right I have changed. Things that I knew existed inside of me and have always been there, others did not see or know because I hid behind my fat due to insecurities. So, I am the same as far as how I have always felt and thought but what others see is different because my new confidence allows me to get out there and do what I only used to think of doing. That probably made no sense at all but it is hard to explain. I just know I have more energy and am much happier inside and that shows in my personality on the outside which makes me seem different to people, I guess. Another thing is that family and friends will say you sure are more verbal and opinionated. No, I was just too afraid to speak before. Now, I have found my voice, and yes, I have opinions and now you can hear mine just like I have been listening to yours for years. People get so used to being able to run over you that it takes them by surprise when you suddenly don't take it anymore. Oh, well. Good luck with your presentation and personal training classes. I think you will do great in that area. I know you are an inspiration on here to me and lots of others. I look forward to your posts. Melissa