Tired of hearing I need to stop losing

Your post immediately caught my eye b/c OMG yes I'm so tired of hearing that!! My gosh, I'm 5'5 and weigh 158-160 lbs. How underweight is that?? My sister even goes so far as to tell me I look sick....and not in a loving way either. Just told me that yesterday (again!) but after finally admiting that I'm now smaller than she is. My doctor's tell me to keep working on it and that I'm fine. It's just hurtful and it's really doing a number on me making me wonder if I have a realistic image of myself. I finally scheduled some sessions with a therapist to talk through adjusting to the new body. I think I do have a clear picture and last time I checked, my WLS and PS both agreed with me.

I'd keep it short and simple ...."When I want your opinion you'll see my lips moving" Yah, it's probably a bit blunt but it normally shuts them up. It's not like they're gonna call me out on being "rude" when that's exactly what they were being, right? Oh, and it really could be worse, Ive actually had someone ask me how much more I needed to lose, LOL, and this is long after I reached my GOAL! Yes, I had a quick reply for that one too.... kinda summed 'em up and replied with, "Oh, about 185 lbs" ...estimating their weight, of course.

i love reading everyones replys! why is it people are so comfortable telling us all the negative? do they think we are stupid and can't see things ourselves? do they think we can't make up our own minds. That we don't talk to our doctors who know what is up? When I was heavy I heard you need to lose weight. You need to not eat as much. You have such a pretty face. If only you would (insert any comment you want) Then the few people I told about the surgery before I had it the comments were different! OH why are you doing that? you don't need to lose that much weight. Your so pretty size doesn't matter you just need to put the fork down blah blah blahhhhhh. Then after surgery. You've lost to much weight. You dont' eat enough. I saw this guy or knew this person who had the surgery and they gained all their weight back plus some. your going to be bald. ARGGGGGGG I want to say that they care about me. I think they are controling. Maybe they dont' really want me to be what they think I shoujld be becasue who would they then make nasty comments to? Who knows. What I do know is I'm happy right where I am right now. I wasn't happy were I was. I'm voting for happy any day. Screw em.

Hi WLS buddies!! Thank you all so much for your encouragement and your input/opinions. I guess us as ex obese people always worry about what other people think of us, it's hard to do what makes ourselves happy. You all look fantastic and it's nice to hear some of you all going through the same thing. I still look at the mirror and see a fat person, after 4 years, even with the comments people make. In time I'll get used to looking at myself as who I really am. I guess it's my own confidence that is going to make me ignore the negative things that they say. After fighting a weight problem all our lives its hard not to let it control you, but as WLS success stories we are proving to everyone that we are in control, not them. Thanks again, you guys are great!! Jen

Jennifer, I agree, maybe people are used to seeing us round. If you feel good, at a healthy BMI, I say more power to you! I'm 3 wks from being a "grad." and at 6 ft. 0 in. 189#, people are starting to say the same things here. What is wrong with losing the last 10 or 15#? I feel the same as you about being the judge of what I should weigh. But I must admit that I'm starting to wonder if the RNY is working a little TOO good. I'll try to post a pic. soon Doug 382/189/180

Oh Jennifer...you are singing my song. I'm 5 years out, 4'9" and I currently weigh between 110-115. I went down to 89 lbs after my hernia repair and TT. I got a horrible infection and had to have my hernia repair cleaned up and redone. So yes...I did need to gain weight back after that. I was able to get my health back and feel that I am at a good weight. I too am at the top of a normal BMI and when I had to gain weight I had hoped to get to about 105 and hold it there. I over shot that goal and went clear up to 117. I'm now back down to 110 and I'm working on losing about 5 more lbs. That would put me at the middle of the normal BMI which I don't think puts me in an unhealthy weight in any way. I'm active and healthy. It frustrates me when people comment about my weight and tell me I'm too skinny or if I mention I'm counting calories or working on losing lbs...they say things. I am wearing a size 2-4 and in some rare cases a size 0 fits me. I think we sound so similar...but height. I just tell people I know my body and where my weight should be. I find it best to just not discuss it with anyone...including members of my family. I will talk about it in my support group and a couple friends that understand my thinking. I have no answers for you, but I understand the frustration. Christy

I like asking them "where were you when somebody needed to tell me to stop gaining?" Then I ask them if they would mind dieing. Usually shuts them up. I know it sounds mean and cold but I don't need their input and I figure If I can shut them up now I won't have to put up with them later. I've actually had parents interrupt their conferences with me while I'm talking about their kid to show their "concern" about my looks. - "Are you feeling ok? I mean,, you look so thin,," Uhh,, Yeah slack-jawed-mouth breather,,, your progeny is failing my class,,, let's see if we can stay on topic or maybe we can get you a Ritalin on the rocks?" kp I think I have become less tolerant.

OMG we are like twins, I was 256 and got down to 135. Now I'm at 150 and want to die. Your post took the words out of my mouth I'm also 5'8 and I want to get back to 140 at least. When I tell someone that I need to lose 10 pounds I hear "you are too thin now, you don't need to lose anymore. Just like you I fell in the trap, when you hear your too thin over and over again it gives you the green light to snack. The funny thing is, the people who say you are too thin will tell you that you've gained some weight. I'd rather be told I was too thin then too fat.. Read my profile and you'll see were going through the same things.. Take care, Melissa

I hear the same stuff day in and out. And I get sick and tired of hearing it too. It always confuses me when I hear it. I've stood next to plenty of other people who are smaller than I am and I don't hear anyone scolding them for being to tiny. wtf?? So I wonder if it's because they have the old me stuck forever in their minds as how I'm "supposed" to look? I don't know. I'm moving over to a new office where I know only a handfull of people and will work with a gajillion people that I've never known.... so it should be interesting to see how often I hear it once I'm over there. All that said, I'm 5'5" and flucuate between 120-128. I'm a 36-26-36! I wear 2's, 4's and some 6's. I'm really struggling with what my perfect weight should be. I've had people telling me to stop losing weight over 50 pounds ago... I've looked back over pictures and I can see that my face does look kind of sunken and unhealthy...where it didn't with a little more weight on me. So I've actually been expiramenting with trying to GAIN weight. Which I HATE. The fact of the matter is: if I eat like I'm suppose to according to my nut and my surgeon (around 1600-1800 calories), I will lose more. In order for me to gain, I litteraly have to eat all dang day long. I hate this because I feel like I'm behaving WORSE than I did before wls. I was liking not being hungry between meals. I enjoyed not spending so much money on junk and snacks. What if I can't stop? It's really a struggle for me to do this - I keep feeling guilty and then for a day or two, I go back to the rules - get some more exercise - and blamo! I'm back down in weight. I'm just too scared to relinquish control I think. I don't know. I just know i hear it all the time and it gets to me too - I'm just not sure I agree with them completely. On one hand, I would hate to get any kind of illness that caused me to lose anymore weight - I'd be genuinely scared of what could happen. On the other, I can't stand the way it feels to gain weight or have to eat non-stop trying. And I can't help thinking that if I gained and was unhappy with myself but everyone else was happy - have I really accomplished anything? Or did I just exchange one porcupine for another? Personally, I don't see anything wrong with being in the low to mid range of your healthy BMI. It's not like you are wishing to be 88 pounds and anorexic. You are taking your vitamins and eating. Although, I think 1000 calories might be a little low. I know when i was eating in that calorie range and weighing around 140-150, I was stuck. But i thought I would like to maintain there, so I upped my calorie intake to around 1200-1400 and my weight plummeted to 125 in just a few weeks. Blew me a way! So I upped it some more when I hit a low of 120. Pam