If Ever I could post anonymously....

Hi Tracy, I have a lot of work to do on myself and have a ton to think about. Molly

I've even noticed myself feeling superior in stores. "That woman sure does have a big butt, I'm glad mine's not that big" and it was twice that size a year ago. I'm afraid God will get mad at me and send my big butt back if I don't straighten up. I can't go a day and not talk to just about everybody I see about my WLS or what I can/can't eat, or what I did for exercise that day, or how my skirt just keeps getting looser. And most of the women I know are struggling with weight. I will need to be more careful about that.

I have noticed that I want to CONQUER THE WORLD !!!  I want to tell every obese person that I see about WLS and that they need to have one.   Then I realize that I CAN'T do that.   That would be extremely rude and I do try to not be rude to people....at least not on purpose if I ever am rude to anyone.    I just think that we want to save everyone from the hurt feelings, dissapointments and other things that we have all gone through.   And Hey...I put myself down all the time calling myself fat.   I know deep down....that I am NOT FAT anymore.   Even though the BMI charts say that I am OVERWEIGHT and I would LOVE to choke the person that made that up.   LOL  Not really....I work out 5 days a week really really hard and I have lots of muscle mass and as we all know....muscle weights more that fat.   My surgeon tells me all the time...that I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT.   I tell him....tell that BMI chart that.  LOL   We are all beautiful, loving, caring people who want to help others and there is nothing wrong with that. Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

It's not so much that I feel superior in fact, it is almost the opposite. I just feel like I am apologizing for myself or explaining myself for no good reason. It's like, everyone else thinks I'm awesome and have it all together. None of my friends I have now knew me when I was bigger. So, for some reason I feel the need to let them know who I "really" am/was, ect. Sigh...I am really gonna work on this!

That's EXACTLY what has been happening to me!  It's like I've forgotten where I came from and sometimes I find myself thinking how much thinner I am than others, and then I have to 'spank myself' mentally for doing it and realize I could easily get back up there if I let myself!  I think everyone has their own mental issues they have to work though after the weight comes off!  LOL!

Oh my gosh, Wanda! I found myself thinking those things just today. A woman was walking away from me very quickly in white tight legging type pants and I thought "Wow, she's really huge...And shouldn't be wearing tight leggings.." Which would have been just wrong had I said something but I didn't...Just last year, that might have been me...Or any of us.

BTW, I don't like ill fitting clothing on anyone no matter thier shape. It just looks so darn uncomforable! LOL! What are they thinking?

All the replies are right on, just my "take on it", if you will... I heard a story a long time ago about a Black Bear that had lived in captivity since being a cub.  His "cage" at the zoo was 10 paces forward and 10 paces back.  Day and night for years he'd pace 10 paces forward and 10 paces back.  Day after day.  Month after month.  He'd walk forward to the bars, turn around and walk back to the fake rock cave.  10 paces. One day the zoo announced it would be closing and a local group took responsibility to relocate the animals.  One particular man had watched the bear since a child and had always grieved over such a beautiful animal confined as he was.  Now a man of means, he orchestrated a flight to Europe, where he would be releasing the bear back into the wild.  He hired the zoo vet to implant a locater in the bear - they would be able to tell, by satellite, his movement and migratory patterns. All plans set into motion, he and a team of professionals accompanied his "friend" to Siberia excited at the prospect that finally, the  bear would be free to roam as he was created to do. Transferring from plane to helicopter, they took flight, merely miles from chosen destination. Crossing over a mountain range, during approach, the vet gave another mild sedative to the bear, guaranteeing a calm landing.   Gradually, carefully they slowly lowered the crate to the ground.  Riding atop was a vet and a crew member responsible for unlatching the lock.  On the ground, the vet checked vitals one more time - bear was healthy.  Crew member unlatched the crate and together vet and crew member rode the opened crate back up to the helicopter.  All were moved to tears as they watched this beautiful animal awaken.He stood and he stretched.  Standing on a mountain top, free for the first time since being a cub, they watched in shock and amazement as the beautiful bear proceeded to pace: 10 steps forward and 10 steps back.  Over and over and over and over again...10 steps forward and 10 steps back. He was free but didn't know what freedom meant. Couldn't see past the "bars" in his mind.  The all-too-familiar limitations in his head - in his history - a lifetime of limitations... Molly Mae, we, much like the bear, have lived within limitations as well.  Those farther down the road are just beginning to "see" what freedom really means.  It takes time to re-train our minds - to kill the "stinkin' thinkin' " that kept us captive for so long. Give yourself time.  Trust that you'll learn what freedom really means: freedom from explaining and defending and joking before someone else does.  Freedom from longing for attention, from being "invisible".  Freedom to move and enjoy life as a "normal" weighted person. At 6 years post op and maintaining within 4-5 pounds for over 3.5 years now - this past 1.5 years I've almost forgotten that I was ever obese. For real.  Took 4.5 years to kinda,sorta "forget".  How cool is that!  It's possible! You've just discovered there's a "world beyond previous limitations" and you're exploring!  Good for you!  Your mind is growing and healing and with it comes bumps, sometimes! Part of the growth. Part of the freedom. Keep real , as you are (which is awesome to come on here and be held "accountable") - that takes INCREDIBLE courage.  You're awesome! Judy