Weight Obsession

Is anyone else obsessed with their weight all of  the time? I feel like I  am always thinking about it~what I weight...what I'd like to weigh...what food I will eat for  the day...what I will do if I don't eat right...what exercise I will do....should I "allow" myself to go out to dinner with my family or say no...how are my jeans fitting....do I look bloated...why am I up 2lbs....why am I down 2lbs when I haven't even been eating "perfectly"....I could go on and on!!!!!!!  My therapist thinks I have too much time in my day so I may be overfocused on my weight~I am a stay at home mom and both boys  go to school from 8:30-3:00 so  I do have my days to myself at this time of year. I do stay very busy volunteering at the school, exercising, hanging out at  OH, etc. I have considered going back to school, but really can't afford it right now. I am however considering going back to work b/c we could use the $$, the kids are getting older and it is possible that I need the distraction. I've been home for 11yrs now so its kind of a scary thought to go back to having a set schedule, no  time to myself, etc. We'll see what happens. Anyway, am I the only one that feels this way? I hate to say it, but the ###'s that I see on the scale can make or break my day. I've gotten better at dealing with it, but if I"m up I still get bummed. Maintenance isn't easy~as with any addiciton I don't feel like I'll ever truly be "cured". Do normal people feel this way? Do they obsess over all of this or do they just have lucky genes and  they don't have to worry about it b/c they stay within a normal weight range all on their own without all of the constant work (mental and physical) that I go thru?? Do they feel completely out of control and unhappy if they are up 5lbs or don't they even realize that they are up 5lbs b/c they don't weigh themselves very often??

I've lost and regained so many times, and my RNY was a last resort for me. I do obsess over my weight a lot. I'm so afraid I'll get back into my old habits and balloon back up again. I feel like a bug under a microscope, because everybody in town has noticed that I've lost a couple hundred pounds, and they're all watching to see what happens next, so there's that added pressure on top of my own insecurity.

Oh yes, I too feel like I'm under a microscope! Isn't it sad that so many people are waiting for a regain~maybe they're not really thinking that, but in my mind they are. They are waiting for me to screw this time up too and I myself worry about ruining this last chance.

I to am obsessed with my weight, what I eat, excersise, gaining and losing. I know its from bordom. My husband and I retired a couple years ago and just finished building a new home, so things have slowed down for us. I need to get a J.O.B. ( i hate that word ). but I need to fill up some of my time to quit obssessing and eating between meals. That may be your answer also, good luck.

Thank You! I think that's what my therapist was trying to get at, but in a nice way, LOL~you're bored, you have nothing better to do with your time so you obsess over your weight. I'm just at that  in between stage of wanting to go back to work, but not sure that I'm really ready~and if I"m going to do it I want to go back full time so that I can make some real $$ otherwise why give up my free time for little cash.

I agree with you.  I often feel the same way. Maintenance is hard.  Right now I am up 2-3 lbs and just can't figure out why!  Can't eat less, and am exercising and making good choices....go figure!  But like you, when I got on that scale this morning. I was not happy! I think you said a key word though" addiction".  I think knowing I am a food addict and that I could easily ruin all I've worked for places extra strain on myself that "normal "  people don't feel.(although someone who never experienced weight issues have other issues they deal with that we don't struggle with).  Does that make sense?  I've known the pain of being fat, and the joy of being able to conquer the monster.  I think we just have to seek balance.  Our joy has to exist no matter what the scale says.  We have to let the "truth set us free".  In that, if we know we ate, and did what we should and the scale is up, then it is out of our control.  Even it it bums us out and annoys us...we can truthfully say it wasn't because we binged and ate a whole bag of chips! We may not always feel happy....but joy can always be there. Interesting concept, isn't it? That being said.  I think when we are discouraged, we need to seek encouragment  from our friends here who truly understand.  Today, your post encouraged me, knowing I wasn't the only one thinking these things.  Thanks ! May God bless your day and may you find encouragment knowing you  are not a failure...you've come a long way....and you know what....you won't go back.  You're too determined.  Just like I am! blessings, Tami

Tracy, I feel exactly like you have described. When I hear others say that they have forgotten what it is like to be fat I don't understand it because every day I live with the fear of regain. At 3 years out I am still constantly battling my weight---and losing and regaining the same 5-8 lbs. I think about what to eat, what I have eaten, how much exercise I have done, how loose or tight my pants are...all day long!  The first thing I do in the morning is run to the scale and it helps determine my psyche for the rest of the day. I can gain weight even when I do everything right so a weekend of indulging can put me up by 5 lbs--I don't have the problem of losing too much or not being hungry...I wish I did..but that is never going to me. Therefore, I still live with the Fat Girl fears and obsession every day. It is exhausting isnt it???? dk

Yes, it IS exhausting (for me and for others around me I'm sure)! You sound so much like me! I have come to realize that maintenance is WAY harder than losing a huge amount of weight~this takes ALOT of work!! I feel blessed that I was able to have this surgery and I just don't want to blow it! I often wonder if I just let it all go from my mind if I would really gain weight, if I would stay the same or if I would actually drop a few more  pounds??? Who knows??? I probably will never know b/c I'll never stop obsessing, LOL!

Thank you so much Tami!!!! I am so afraid to ruin this~I feel like this was my last  chance! And you're right, other people struggle with their issues, weight and food just happen to be my issues. I will try to find that joy~I know its there somewhere...............

HEY TRACY,        YOU KNOW I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT FELT THAT WAY ... I AT ALL TIMES WORRY ABOUT WHAT GOES IN MY MOUTH.. I DO KNOW ITS A TYPE OF FAILURE SYNDROM FOR SURE.. I COULDNT AMAGINE COMING ALL THIS WAY AND GOING BACK TO WHERE I WAS... I NEVER GOT ON THE SCALE WHEN I WAS FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS.. I HAD JUST GAVE UP WEIGHING... I WOULD YO YO ALL THE TIME BACK AND FOURTH. I DO SAY THAT ALSO MY MOOD CAN BE AFFECTED EASILY BY WHAT THE SCALE SAYS.. THAT PART I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE. I DO RIGHT AND EAT RIGHT AND ITS SAD. I AM ALWAYS GONNA BE AN ADDICT WHEN COMES TO FOOD AND MAYBE THATS WHY I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME... I FEEL NO MORE DIFFERENT THAN A CRACK HEAD WOULD. I DO WEIGH EVERYDAY... I HAVE WEIGHED LIKE THIS SINCE BEFORE I HAD WLS. ABOUT SIX MONTHS BEFORE THAT IN FACT. I GUESS ITS JUST PART OF ME. MY FAMILY THINKS ITS NOT GOOD TO WEIGH EVERYDAY BUT IT IS WHAT KEEPS ME HONEST. LETS ME KNOW WHEN I DONT EAT, OR DRINK ENOUGH AND ALSO TO MUCH SALT INTAKE. SO I SAY DO WHATS WORKING FOR YA.... BUT I TO HAVE ALOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS AS WELL. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A STAY AT HOME MOM AND NOW MY KIDS ARE GROWN AND MARRIED... I JUST SWITCH IT AROUND AND DO OTHER THINGS IN THE HOUSE AND YARD BUT STILL WONT KEEP ME FROM WORRYING ... ITS JUST A GIVEN... HAVE COME TO FAR TO FAIL.... AND THATS ALL IVE EVER KNOWN HUGS MARGE