Weight Obsession

Hi Diana!!!! The scale is crazy~I can eat so well and it won't budge and then I can eat kinda bad and see no gain or even a loss~it just doesn't make sense sometimes. I know that, so why do I let that ### cause my day to be good or bad?? When the ### is good I have so much more self confidence, I walk around with a smile, I am happier. When the ### is bad I notice I keep my head down more, don't make as much eye contact, get grumpy or depressed. How in the world at 328lbs did it not really bother me~I mean I hated being fat, but it didn't control my feelings for the day. Sometimes this is just so hard!

Oops, I forgot to mention in my earlier post....I work and am busy and keep active but I still make time to worry and obsess about the weight...so I am not sure that you can change that ......It is always in the back of my mind...recentlyI dreamed that I had gained all my weight back . SHIVER

Ahhh, that was a nightmare for sure!!!!!! So, maybe going back to work won't be the answer??? I feel like  I need to refocus, but just don't know how or what to do????

Hi Tracy, You've hit on a topic that many of us think about a great deal.  I have posted here a number of times that I weigh myself every day, as I don't want any five pound "surprises".  I want to know how my weight naturally flucuates, so if there is a true weight gain happening, I can take action immediately.  I am assuming this is how I will control my maintainance over time.  So far, it is working for me. My theory is that this surgery "does make us normal".  MY definition of normal is that normal people must keep a close eye on food intake and exercise to maintain a healthy  weight.  It is a rare individual in our society that does not have to do this, the idealized person who gets to eat whatever they want, whenever they want, and stay thin.  Yes, such genetic people do exist, but they are not the norm.  How many of your friends or acquintances can you name who are like this.  I know of no one.  When I was SMO, I assumed that there were many.  They just didn't talk about their food restriction and exercise habits with me.  Or the nice thin person who is secretly maintaining their body through anorexia or bulimia.  Note, I am not  saying all thin people are eating disordered, but some are, and we don't know it. I have just started reading "Rethinking Thin, The New Science of Weight Loss-and the Myths and Realities of Dieting" by Gina Kolata, a science writer for the New York Times.  This is intellectual curiosity on my part.  Food in our society is abundant.  It is an evolutionary advantage to gain body fat during times of plenty to survive seasons of famine.  We no longer have seasons of famine, but our bodies have not adapted to this recent change of human history.  According to this book,  a quote from a committee of medical experts from the National Academy of Sciences, "An obese individual faces a continuous lifelong struggle with no expectation that the struggle required will diminish with time.  For most people, even a brief abatement in effort will be met with a significant setback in control."   My assessment, our surgery gives us the tool needed to succeed, but it will always be a struggle.  I have accepted that fact.  Finally.  I will never be able to relax and not think about what I eat and its consequences.  Wouldn't that be lovely?  But it is not my reality.  Nor is it for most "normal" people. Debra M. 351/133

Thank you Debra. I am very happy to win the struggle most days. I think I almost feel some guilt about wasting so much of my time on  earth focused on my weight~it seems so self absorbed and unimportant in the scheme of things being that so many others have really important things to worry about~like sickness, death of a loved one, etc. I know it will always be my struggle, but hope that I will continue to win for many years to come!!!

Tracy you definately are not alone in this struggle. I too weigh myself daily. I realize there will be some fluctuations so I ususally don't let a pound or two variation freak me out. I feel that after being a SMO person for most of my adult life that this is just the way is going to be. But by daily weigh ins I know that I will see if I start to have any gain and be able to address it before it compounds.  Really, why worry so much about this obsession, to me it is much better than what I did before by not weighing myself and ignoring what I was putting into my body. I weigh daily and have been tracking what I put in my  mouth every day. I will be more worried when I stop doing these things because then I could let my eating habits slip and gain weight back. Being that I never have been a normally "thin" person I am not really sure what they do, but I would think most people need to work at keeping there weight where they want it to be. We are all a work in progress. take care Sher

Hi Sher!! I am definitely a work in progress, LOL, and I need all the help I can get!!! I do suppose that most people have to watch, but it just seems like the naturally thin have it so easy. I'm sure they have other problems though. I just hate wasting so much time worrying!

I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO ALL OF THESE POSTS SO I WILL PRETTY MUCH DITTO ON THEM. I WILL BE 2 YRS OUT IN DECEMBER, LOST 110LB AND WENT FROM 230 TO 120 AND FEEL GREAT. VERY ENERGETIC AND HEALTHY, BUT YES, I STILL HAVE THOSE OBSESSIONS AND FEARS OF GAINING IT ALL BACK. I STAY FOCUSED EVERY DAY AND WORK MY PROGRAM AND HAVEN'T CHEATED ONCE NOR DO I INTEND TO. I JUST SPENT 2 WEEKS ON LONDON (WHICH IS WHERE I'M FROM) AND HAD A LOT OF CRAP GOING ON OVER THERE WITH FAMILY ISSUES, BUT I MANAGED TO STAY CALM AND DIDNT USE FOOD TO DEAL WITH IT. THE FUNNY THING IS, I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING THAT. BUT AS I SAY, I AM OBSESSED EVERYDAY ABOUT HOW I LOOK AND THERE ARE EVEN DAYS WHEN I STILL THINK PEOPLE ARE SEEING ME AS OBESE, IT'S JUST SO SAD AS TO HOW OUR MINDS WORK. I USED TO WEIGH MYSELF EVERY DAY BUT HAVE CUT DOWN TO ONCE A WEEK, I WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT ONCE A MONTH WEIGH THOUGH AFTER READING JCURRY'S POST. MAYBE THAT DAY WILL COME, BUT FOR NOW I AM HAPPY WITH ONCE A WEEK. I ALSO GO CRAZY IF I SEE A 2-3LB WEIGHT GAIN. ANYWAY, IT'S SO GOOD TO KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS JOURNEY OF OUR OBSESSIONS AND FOOD ADDICTION. GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE, WE NEED EACHOTHER. TAKE CARE

Thanks Joanne!

Tracy, I am sooooo right there with ya babe!!!  I am a stay at home mom too and it's really hard when you are constantly near the comfort of your own kitchen.  I think about food all the time.  I think about weighing myself all the time and I make sure I do every day.  I exercise a lot.  And this is all I think about ... food/weight/exercise.  I'm totally obsessed!  If I can manage to have errands to run during the day, I do better because I'm out and about.  But there is something about being at home during the day that draws me into the kitchen and wanting to eat.   Anyway, I don't really have any magical advice but I want you to know I understand.  I could have written exactly what you wrote!  But I honestly think it's a good thing in a way ... it will keep us focused because we don't want to return to our former selves.  If we didn't think about it, we'd probably end up right back where we started. Deanna  :)