weight gain... so discouraged

I counted more than 50 stresses in your life just in your note, which leads me to believe that you are entirely overwhelmed by everything in your life right now.  The first thing you have to realize is that you can't deal with all of these things all at once. In some strange way I think we former fatties are even more inclined to want instant change/success in everything we do, and if that doesn't happen, we pile on all manners of stress and want to make that all go away with one fell swoop.  But it doesn't. The best advice I can offer you is figure out all those things that are upsetting you and try to start charting a map for how you can improve each one.  But take small bites --striving to make small but steady changes, and don't try to work on too many things too quickly. Getting a small sense of accomplishment for achieving tiny victories is a lot better than constantly berating yourself for not handling them all at once. I don't want to discourage you from having a baby--they are the best thing in the world, but maybe now is not the time.  It would only add to your many stresses.   If you can, get psychological help.  If you are taking anti-depressants, perhaps they are not the right ones for you--it often takes a lot of different ones to figure out what works for YOU. I'm almost 5 years out and I know how hard life can be and how it can interfere with staying the course.  I struggle with it every single day. Most of us do, so you are not alone. And as for the holidays and what others might say, call their bluff--be upfront with them. Tell them you have had a rough time (like they don't already know that anyway) and you need and want to work on them. Ask for their support and undersatnding, and tell them what you need or don't need from them. Loving blessings and prayers are coming your way. Ann

You've gotten some great advice here.  I just wanted to say again that you're not alone.  This is a lifelong battle for us.  You're not a failure, please don't beat yourself up.  I know how frustrated you are, I've regained some weight too and no, I never got to a size 8 either.  But we both CAN do the right things for ourselves.  I have confidence in both of us.  Hugs, Tracy

Aloha.....I am a new WL grad...having just reached goal, and now I'm worried when I hear stories like yours. They say the easy part is losing the weight, the hard part is keeping it off. I feel for you, I really do.

In our of our support groups, this subject came up, and we were told about a "retraining your pouch" site. I looked it up, and here it is:

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

I hope this helps.

Aloha nui loa,

karenS (MauiKaren)

I want to thank everyone for your kind words and encouragement. I've been going through some really hard times and I was obviously having a BAD day when I brought this message to the forum.   I hadn't heard of the 5 Day Pouch Test before, and after several people suggested it to me, I looked it up and have decided to give it a try.  It looks like the answer to my prayers. I just hope it's not too good to be true.  I hope I can stick with it and see results. My husband just started a new job and we have health insurance again. I will seek out a counselor or therapist, as I recognize the major impact my brain has on my post-op success. I want this new year to be a good year, and I'm going to start out by taking care of myself one step at a time.  I need support and I will visit the boards more often to find motivation and encouragement among my WLS family.  I feel loved and understood here, and that is a rare gift. Thanks again.