question to all you WLS grads????

I know I'm only about 3 weeks out but I am so worried that although I DO want to change and control all the bad eating habits that made me unhealthy and fat I am at the same time concerned that I will never be able to have a ham sandwich or enjoy a cheeseburger or maybe go out to dinner for BBQ ribs. I mean I know these are not the best of choices and I am not talking all the time but every now and then would be great. Am I only going to take about 5 bites and be full??  Will I ever be able to eat bread of any kind again????  I am so scared I made a bad choice. I want to take control of my life not eliminate completely who I am and what I like. Please no flaming !!! I am still trying to figure all this out. My Dr. says that I will be able to return to a small "normal" portion in a few months.  Any help or advise is greatly appriciated. Thanks in advance.

Hey there! Wow 3 weeks out! I remember those days. Believe me it is so hard at first but it will get so much easier and better. Now I for one am going to be honest with you and tell you the truth.....not would you "Should" do or shouldn't. Yes you will be able to eat those things once and awhile again. You will be able to eat more than 5 bites. I had my surgery on 3/29/04........and I can eat pretty much anything and unfortunately quite a bit of it.  The problem is you have to make sure it is only once and awhile and that you can control your urges. I started eating stuff again once and awhile and it worked for a bit. But then slowly bad eating habits came back......and I am not even going to post what I have been eating like the past few months because it is too embarassing. So you have to be careful. I am now doing the 5 day pouch test to try to take control of my eating habits again so I stop gaining weight. I did gain back about 50 pounds.  So have faith that you will be more like a normal eating person again someday, but my surgeon always said......"Take advantage of the first year" and believe me I did! I was soooooo good that first year and I lost 140 pounds. So make this year really count! Hope this helps!

Thnx for your honesty!!!! I understand that this is just a tool and if I'm not aware of what i'm putting in my mouth that things could go right back to where they were before the surgery. I just want to be normal. I feel so crazy right now. I want a normal life and when I eat around friends and family I don't want them to think I'm in food prison I want them to say "Wow she is carefull with her food choices and doesn't eat  everything  on the table anymore" I would like a "WAY TO GO ! ! ! ! " and not a "OH.... Bless her heart"  (if your not Southern then I'm sure that makes no sence.)

I just want to add an "amen" to Kimmie's post!  I could have written it myself! I know you feel right now like you are in some strange kind of eating limbo, and you can't imagine what "normal" will ever consist of!  I never did have that awful "What have I done?" feeling, but I just couldn't picture how I was ever going to get everything "right"-- drink the right amount, get in exactly the right amount of protein, carbs, etc.  I was so fortunate to be what I considered a "textbook case" with no problems at all and really not even any significant plateaus.  My weight loss was not dramatically fast, but it was pretty consistent, esp. considering I was 54 at the time and had all those years of screwing up my metabolism!   I lost 140 lbs., but unfortunately, I've re-gained 35 and am struggling to get a grip.  I'd like to re-lose at least 1/2 of what I gained. I can eat ANYTHING.  I can't begin to eat in the quantities I used to, but I can graze my way through an awful lot of bad food choices.  For the first 1 1/2 years, I did NOT eat junk, and I'm sure glad I didn't--cause contrary to how I thought I'd NEVER lapse back into the bad habits (at least not very much!), it's just so sneaky once you start testing the waters.   I'm not saying it's horrible to ever eat bad carbs, but just be very careful.  Like Kimmie said, try very hard to follow the rules to the best of your ability for as long as possible.   You're just starting a wonderful journey--I envy the stage you're at!!!

Trust me you will wish you couldnt eat like we grads can. My advise to you is to stay on proteins as long as you can and wait as long as you can to add carbs. And when you do add carbs stick with the whole wheat ones and dont start eating white products like bread, pastas and potatoes because the carb monster will get you. I wish I could go back to the "honeymoon stage". The further out of surgery the more you can eat, my husband is amazed at how much I can eat. Good luck to you, Debra

Hi Courtney! Congratulations on your surgery! I have to agree with the other ladies~I can now at 3yrs post op eat pretty much whatever I want, but I know to maintain my weightloss I can't indulge very often or I WILL gain weight. I remember for the first 3mths I was obsessed with pizza and the fact that I would never be able to have it again~well, I can and do, but I limit it and honestly 1 slice is just as satisfying as 4 ever was!!!  It sounds like you're ready for this and to make some lifelong changes so you will do well. Just follow dr's orders and take full advantage of the first 12-18mths b/c after that it gets so much harder to lose. Good Luck to You!

Thanks again for all of your advise. I am going to stay on what my Dr. has told me and I do want to lose as much as I can and keep it off. I just wanted to make sure that this type of eating is not the rest of my life. you know 1/2 egg, tsp of refried beans, a microbite of chicken,ect.

Congratulations on this decision and for taking this huge step on this journey!  I understand the place you are.  Oh boy, do I. It was day 1 evening - when I felt such a sense of panic that I wanted to scream and say: UNDO THIS, I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN IT!!!! I'm gonna starve, this sucks, etc.!!! Okay, well that was September 6, 2001 (day of surg) and here is Jan 5, 2008 - and I just finished a "Pepper turkey breast on 1slice rustic (grainy) Italian bread with 1 slice hot pepper cheese, microwaved all warm & bubbly-cheese" sandwich!  I've been at goal weight over 3 years now. I eat too much some times, not enough others, but ultimately I've worked VERY HARD to learn to establish new habits during the early days - while the pouch was so very tender and sensitive. Yes! Follow your doc's after-care protocol.  It easily limits you, where later  you'll have  a bit more room . Re-learn - rePROGRAM your brain while your PORTIONS are limited for you - take advantage of this tool these early days and I guarantee in the LATER DAYS post op, you'll be so glad you did. I still don't do added, refined sugar. I do eat other non-sugar-added natural alternatives. I sometimes eat sugar-free junk. I eat bread - complex, whole grain every day - good brain food. I eat  meat, veggies and right now am craving oranges & apples every day. When I go out, I sometimes sip WITH my meals (often mindlessly) and have figured out that by creating "SOUP" (solids mixed w/ beverage) I can ingest more. But that is a DANGER IF it becomes routine.  It is NOT routine.  Sometimes, I do.  AGAIN - NOT FREQUENTLY.   I've been so pleased and sometimes SHOCKED at how much the "reprogramming" really works in the long haul. My tastes have changed. I too love ribs- hey I was a Southern gal! However, now I take a bite and REALLY REALLY EXPERIENCE the taste of the first (and usually the BEST) bite.  I savor the BBQ , like a wine taster, rolling it over my tongue- trying to detect the blend of spices that makes it so wonderful - or not-so-wonderful-if-too-sweet. But I taste and experience and enjoy. Now, it's not about QUANTITY, it IS about QUALITY. Quality: of taste, of nutrition, of experience. Do I go to Eastern  BBQ's all you can eat and spend 14.95 per meal?  Oh yes, and I carefully select what I KNOW will send my taste buds into orbit (I fill up so fast, still!) and what will give me nutrition to boot and I'm happy happy!  Used to eat and over eat and went from "gotta have it" to "overstuffed" and never learned what "full" really felt like.  It took practice, but I now know. Big time.  Sometimes it means discretely spitting out that "one bite too many". Eventually, IF you choose to LEARN to SHIFT your focus onto QUALITY of the food you eat, you will truly enjoy - maybe even more so than ever before! NOTE: Pre-op- I was a chocolate/fudge/walnut brownie-ish addict.  Loved the gooey stuff - all the way up to 292.  All my life.  I can honestly say --- the YEARS of gulping, INHALING down that stuff without really tasting past the first mouthful -  doesn't compare to tasting my local Choc Company's "Prune sweetened" fine chocolate mint - that is so silky and literally MELTS in my mouth... My appreciation is 10x what it used to be. My cooking is far better too!  I pay more attention to seasoning, spices, etc. than ever! Okay  - enough about me - just my own personal experience. I KNOW you're gonna make the best out of this tool - your future success is in YOUR hands! You rock! :)

You have made me feel far better now. you are a "normal" person and you eat like one. I am sooooooooo glad someone refered me to this forum(WLS grads) about this question. And I'm more excited that you guys don't act like I'm crazy for feeling the way I do. Sometimes after reading on the main forum I see a pattern of what they call flaming when a group jumps all over someone with my types of questions. I know that we are all human and cheat sometimes. I mean even the most healthy people I know sometimes has a "free" day where they eat things that they normally wouldn't dare touch as an all the time lifestyle. I feel so much better now. thank you so much and congratulations on all of you guys success. 

Lean ham with low carb bread shouln' be a problem. BBQ ribs are good protein, and I for one think people need more fat than most RNYers eat, hence constipation. A cheeseburger without the bun should be fine , great protein, and eat the lettuce, tomato, pickle and onion is fine. And enjoy the 5 bites and being full. It doesn't last forever. Take advantage of it, and lose all you can. You have the rest of  your life to have the ocasional treat.  Just don't forget what having the high carb, high calorie, and high fat treats 3-4-5 times a day did to us. Occasionally means once a week, pick something you really crave, eat your protein first, then have that treat. There are so many foods that won't pack on the pounds that taste good. Get out there and find which ones you can really love.