I can't do it!!!!!!

I have gained 15 lbs from my all time low of 145lbs. I am only 5'2" and thick even at 145 but much thicker at 160. I am trying really trying to lose these 15 lbs. I have tried WW, Ketosis, back to basics, increasing my exercise and it just won't come off!!!!1 Not a lb, not an ounce. Maybe I am just having trouble maintaing these attempts for long periods of time... I just don't know and i can't understand the weight gain. I eliminated carbs and then switched to healthy ones. I am just soooo frustrated. I don't know what else to do. If i am burning 300 calories 4 times A week that should do something and usually it's much more and much more freq. I just want to cry and scream and then you know what that means, stuff my face for that good ole TEMP. comfort. I have resisted the urge, but feel i am about to break. I think not eating at all would be better than doing this moderation crap! Anorexia is looking better, but that never worked before and it just sucks that I can't eat like a normal person.  I feel doomed to be fat even after having my body cut open and carved. It is just such a desperate feeling. Thanks for listening. Melinda( at my lowest emotional point, ever posted)  I HATE MY WEAKNESS AND VULNERABILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melinda, You sound like you've totally had it. The frustration of feeling like you're doing absolutely everything right and still not losing--that is physically & mentally draining.  I have to confess that I have NOT been in  your exact situation.  Oh, trust me--I HAVE re-gained some weight (notice my stats with my signature); however, when I get a grip and do what I should be doing, I see a difference on the scale.  My problem through the years (both pre- and post-op) has never been losing; it's been maintaining.  That doesn't seem to have changed. But let me try to put this into perspective so that you don't get crazy ideas of NOT EATING and of thinking that anorexia is starting to look good!  (I hope you are kidding, but from someone whose daughter suffered from anorexia for years, I take it very seriously!)   You used to carry 326 lbs. on your little 5'2" frame.  Now you're carrying 160 lbs.  Is it upsetting to have once been down to 145?--sure it is; but is it devastating??--no, not really!  Would 145 lbs. be better physically & emotionally??--I imagine so; but is it DEFEATING to be "stuck" at 160--no, not at all!!  My obvious point is that you are still at a VERY GOOD PLACE!  I apply this my myself too--I know I want and really  need to be back down below 160 and am not happy w/ being in the low 180's; however, if I stayed here for the rest of my life, I'd still be a happy person and WAY, WAY healthier than I was at 295!  (My frustration is that I'm NOT doing all I can to deal with the gain!) I don't know what your exact food choices are, but I'm assuming you know what to eat.  So if you're doing plenty of protein & the good veggies & fruit, some low-fat dairy, whole grains, etc., etc., and getting in  your liquids, then I sure don't have any suggestions on what to eat.  Are you getting in ENOUGH calories--say, just as a ballpark figure, 1100-1300 for someone your height (& possibly a little more calories, I'm not an authority on that--but much less than that, & you know it screws w/ your metabolism & won't "give up" the weight!). The absolute only thing I'd know to do is "up" your exercise, which doesn't sound bad to begin with.  I'd try to kill 400-500 cals at least 5 days/week.   I don't know.  It sounds frustrating, but I'd try to relax a little and not over-react.  Concentrate on just maintaining the good habits and at least not gaining any more.  It seems like the scale should move for you, but IF (big "if") it doesn't, you're still MORE THAN OK!! Keep us posted.  I'm not doing great myself--my own fault--but it sure does help me keep things in perspective when I keep coming here to the Grads board to hear about other people's successes AND battles.  I feel like I'm not alone!   Hugs, Jo

Thank you JustJo, as you can tell I am having a meltdown and unfortunately, no i wasn't kidding about anorexia. I want to love my body, but feel so defeated. I know anorexia isn't the correct answer and is self abuse...i know all this logically. BUT having done what all the experts say with no results leaves one hopeless. I have gone from 1200 calories no loss, to 1000 to 800. I just don't know anymore!

Nice Post Jo!   Melinda... You got some good advice from Jo...I just wanted to jump in and give you a hug and tell you that I have been working hard to lose a little weight myself...and I KNOW  I am doing everything right. (Well, okay, not EVERYTHING) but nothing that would hurt my success at losing some weight.  It's moving...It really is. I think we expect that is going to be like the beginning when the weight melted off in whole sizes a month...It's not going to be like that again...It's just not. I have been losing 1.1 lbs every 4 days!  It's grueling and...slow... but if I keep this up I'll be below my NEW goal in no time! Do not give up...You remember how it is...The bodies job is to  survive and if it thinks for one moment you are trying to starve it...It's going to shut down on  you girl!!!!  Don't do it like that or you will be sorely disappointed.  Old diets never worked, remember?  You just keep trying and if it takes you a month to lose a  pound...then that's what it takes...But don't start eating wrong just because you think you  can't do this...You can't do it the way it first came off...You can do it slowly and diligently. And we'll be here so you can vent...just don't let your brain retrain your pouch...Let you pouch retrain your brain...  Hugs Anita A mind is terrible thing to waste...but a waist is a terrible thing to mind! 

Thanks, Anita, on your comments about my post.  YOURS was helpful to me, too!  That's why I love this Grads board!  I loved your reminder that the old ways we tried to deal with dieting (what I call the old "panic diets") did not--and will not now--work for very long.  And just losing a lb. at a time over a longer period of time will still make a big difference.  Learning to eat for the long haul will be a life-long process for me.  I still battle the old mind games.  I liked your last comment, "just don't let your brain re-train your pouch . . . let your pouch re-train your brain." Thanks! Jo

Jo...   No problem!  I learn a lot from you too!  Believe me!  I haven't actually tried to diet in four years...but the fear of gaining has become so stressful to me. It was sooooo easy to gain this winter...and I really thought I was losing a battle!  If it wasn't for this particular board and these particular people...um um um...Some of you slapped the silly outta me and gave me a hug at the same time!  LOL  I'm even taking all my vits and supps. (Thanks Vitalady...whereever you are for scaring the holy bejesus outta me and waking me up)...And I'm doing it daily...without fail...(Still have yet to make a doc appt and see how I am REALLY doing)  But I'll get there...One day at a time...:::Doctor phobic::::  :( Serious Jo...I have NOT felt this good in a good year...My pouch has such peace again...It was a like an unruly child that has finally been disciplined again...and behaving properly!  I love you guys! All of you add a little something new and reinforce what I know or forgot... Yep..don't know why I waited so long for some support... There are things that we know we 'should' do...and then after surgery there are things we 'MUST" do...never mind "should do"....I forgot that.  You have a great attittude towards your own flaws and inspire me every day Hugs, Anita

Stress can stop the weight loss process. Research it out. You can defeat your own body by stressing about it too much. I know the feeling of frustration, but like others have said, you are a whole lot better off than you were before WLS.  I was 325 and very sick 2 years ago. Today Im 200 and super healthy, wearing size 12-14, but I never reached my goal. Do I stress about it? Occasionally,,but then I take stock of where I am, and what I have already accomplished. If I still feel stressed, I do the 5 day pouch test and make sure Im a hundred percent on track. The feeling of being in control is comforting, Take one day at a time, and like others have suggested, increase your exercise. Are you getting all the water in? Are you eating high sodium foods? Encourage  yourself with the fact, you already are a success,,and have accomplished something thousands of people have tried,,you have lost a LOT of weight! Be thankful for that, and relax. you just might see things begin to change when you do.Be Blessed Betsy

Hi Melinda, take a few deep breaths and step back for a moment.  You have gotten some great advice from some great ladies that are going through this weight loss journey.   In the midst of your struggles know that you are on your journey, and that journey is something to fight for.  We definitely have our ups and downs but there are some very important points here.  Firstly, Know that you are Not alone, you have taken a HUGE step forward by asking for help, it's something I think so many of us struggle with, we want to be able to do everything on our own, but to know that It's OKAY to ask for help is a very very big positive step.  :)   Secondly, You have come a long way as the ladies have said, your journey has been successful!  My surgeon told me from the get go "I can take care of the first 100 pounds, the rest will be up to you"  and man was he right.  I hit many plateaus, and still hit them, and sometimes I see the number creep up the scale, but we made this decision for the rest of our lives.  We know what we have to do. :)  Anorexia is never an option, (though a very serious condition and can happen after WLS) it's a very serious disease.   Thirdly, typical diets and yo-yo dieting is not going to help any of us anymore.  Our plumbing is very different, and what our nutritional needs are have drastically changed.  It's easy to try and bounce back onto an old traditional dieting method we've used years ago, but that may not work for us now.  Our absorption, vitamin levels and nutrients are very very different now.   Sometimes I look back at my very first journal entry, and I remember the pain it was to be at my old weight and size, how debilitating it was.  We've all come such a long way. Grab a part of that reflection from the past and use it to your advantage now.  You aren't gonna go back, and you are going to move forward. There is also a WLS Plateau Busting process that has been mentioned many many times.  I can post that if you need a guideline.   Do you think you might just need a guideline of what you should be eating and if you are getting enough water, vitamins, nutrients.  And I ask because when I was 6 months out, I was exercising very heavily, my weight loss completely stopped for two months straight, I was devastated.  I called my dietician, turns out I wasn't eating enough calories.  And after that small adjustment, the weight came off.  So there is an answer for you.   Have you called your nutritionist/dietician?  I would definitely recommend that than going on a diet plan that may not be right for your body.   I wish you so much luck, and You Can Do This.  Don't is not in our vocabulary anymore.  :) ~Shannon

Shannon, Can you please post the WLS Plateau Busting?  Thanks laura

This is a plateau busting diet that has been used and has worked for many Post-Ops.
#1 - Do this for 10 days to break a plateau
#2 - Drink 2 quarts of water a day
#3 - You must have 45 grams of protein supplement and all your vitamins/minerals supplements each day (some suggest at least 60 and up to 80 gr)
#4 - You may consume up to 3 oz of the following high protein foods, 5x a
day.

beef
pork
chicken
turkey
lamb
fish
eggs
low fat cheese
cottage cheese
plain yogurt or artificially sweetened
peanut butter
beans/legumes
You may also have:
sugar free popsicles
tea or coffee (decaf only)
sugar free jello
broths/boullion  crystal light drinks

#5 - If it's not on the list, you can't have it for 10 days!!!!
#6 - Keep a food diary and try to get up to 30 mins of exercise daily Hope this helps! ~Shannon