CONFESSION

Just a little more than a year out and only 45 lbs from goal.  Confession:  I just got tired of counting everything I ate.  Tired of eating strickly for nutritional purposes.  Sooooo, this week I decided to eat what sounded good and what I wanted just for the sake of pleasure.  What an awful week........I feel sick as a dog and like a failure!  I've had a B--Mac, chips, soda, candy, bread.  Jeezzz, I feel awful for several reasons.  I'm puffy and I've gained 5 stinking pounds!  In retrospect, I can see that I've had a build up of stress, and still have a problem with switching my night shift eating to day shift eating.  I guess that combinded with just being tired of counting everything I eat made me more vulnerable.  I'm making this confession because it's good for the soul, and.....hopefully someone out there about to do the same will see this and think twice.  Nothing I ate was worth how I feel right now.  Here is exactly how I feel right now:   (1) Scared to death I can't stop and will ruin the whole thing.  (2) Nauseous, bloated, and gassy.  (3)  Angry at myself and defeated.  (4) STUPID.  OK.....so if you're out there about to do this......THINK!  Ask your self this:  Do I really want to exchange feeling a little frustrated for SCARED, ANGRY, GASSY, BLOATED, NAUSEOUS, AND STUPID.  Anybody got anything to say that can help me?

I just want to say this ~ you are NOT a failure.  So you got fed up with counting and thinking about every little morsel that goes into your mouth after focussing on it for over a year, when for probably for most of the rest of the year you have eaten what you want when you want.  Join the club (who can honestly say they have never got fed up with doing that?) All the great busines entrepenuers dont' have failures, they have learning opportunities.  You have have had a learning opportunity.   You have learned this ~ 1.  You made a choice which didn't work out so well - you have made different choices for a whole year and CAN do so again. 2. You dont' like the way you body reacts to eating this way - nauseous, bloated an gassy, and that your body doesn't like you eating this way 3. You get negative feelings when you eat this way 4.  YOU ARE NOT STUPID - you made a choice that didn't work out how you wanted it to.  You learned that even if you may WANT to eat like this again, it doesn't work for your body or emotions.  Try printing out this post and put it somewhere to remind you what it was like for you when you want to do this again.  All experiences can be turned and used in a positive way if you allow them to be and look for the gold in each situation. So get yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again (sing it with me?). Remember, progress, not perfection.

Ruth, What a sweet note of support.  I love the idea about printing the post out.....that's exactly what I'm gonna do.  Oh, and the "progress, not perfection."  Oh my gosh, did that ever hit home!  I'm so perfectionistic when it comes to me.....that's not my attitiude towards others....I reserve it just for me.  I don't think I've patted myself on the back enough.....I've really glazed over my accomplishments of this last year.  Now if it had been one of my family members who accomplished all this over the year, I would be making such a big deal for them.  OK, I've just convinced myself...can you tell?  I'm gonna be expecially good to myself this week; bask in my progress, and take of again.  Thank you, Ruth.  Blessings and have a good week!  Tgarr

Ok, so you tried it, it didn't work and now you know~don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure~you're human!!! I know when  I eat crap I feel like crap, but that doesn't stop me from the occasional "error in judgement". It is a VERY scary feeling, but you will gain control again this week, eat right, feel better and feel successful again!!!! I had 2 days of Easter candy~urgh~but today's a new day and I WILL eat right b/c I want to feel physically and mentally better! You hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself! Good Luck this week!

Tracy It's sooo helpful knowing I'm not the only person that can get swayed by cute colorful candy.  It really does help.  Thank you for the post, Tracy.  You also helped me out not too long ago regarding night shift/day shift eating.  I dropped 7 lbs after that episode.  I think I'm just experiencing some growing pains.  I'm gonna just stretch myself a little here, challenge myself a little..............meaning.....I'm going to forgive myself and start over.  Thanks Tracy; it's very good for me to see that others have had a glitch or two in their progression, but still have gone on the realized their goals.  I can be very unrealistic in my expectations for myself.  This is a good learning experience for me.  Have a good week.   Thank heavens we don't have cute Memorial Day or Fourth of July candy.......I could have 7 good months here.......Halloween is 7 months away! Tgarr

You are so welcome! I'm glad I could help! I have to agree~thankfully there are no more "candy holidays" coming up!!!!!

There, but by the grace of GOD go I.  If any of us have not been there. We've either thought about it or will think about it.

You've done ME a favor by sacrificing your week to show ME what very well could happen if I step outside of the lines. Thank you so much.  You're not stupid, Definately not stupid. You just need to know that you can get right back up on that horse and start in a different direction. Get the ship turned right side up and turned back into the wind...

Missus Little, Well I'm just in the "all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord" moment.  Like I said to Tracy in my previous reply.  I could have 7 good months ahead:  no cute Memorial Day or 4th of July candy is made.....I'm good to Halloween now!  Have a good spring week! Tgarr

There's not many of us that don't screw up. We're human, it happens. Nobody expects you to be perfect. Just remember how you feel now and it'll help you in the future. That 5 pounds isn't a huge gain, and you can get rid of it pretty quick. Don't let it turn into 50 pounds (like I've done sooo many times in the past). You're not a failure, you're just not perfect.

Wanda, Thank you for the support.  It is such a gift when someone takes precious time to support someone floundering around.  You're so good to extend your hand.  I'm so much harder on myself than those I love.  Oh my!  Oh my gosh...........Wanda, what you don't see here is the amount of time that has expired between sentence #4 of this reply and my Oh my! comment.  The comment I made about being harder on myself than on "those I love" literally jumped off at me.   What a telling statement.   The truth contained in that statement just blasted me after I wrote it.  Wanda, it just hit me right between the eyes.  I'm actually shaking on the inside. I should be including myself in the "those I love" category.  Wanda, you have no idea what your post has  triggered.... the actual truth of how I really feel about myself.  I'm  stopping here.  Thank you.  got to stop. Tgarr