completely disappointed in myself

I had gastric 3yrs and about 3 months ago.  I was 320 lbs before and lost to 158 lbs by about 12 months out.  I held that for about another 6 months and have gradually gained back 40 lbs since.  I didnt see it coming, although I should have.  I honestly never thought I would be one to gain the weight back considering I have always been fat and never ever wanted to put myself through that agian.  I am on the edge of 200 lbs. (Literally.. 199lbs)  I am soooo disappointed in myself. 

I have considered a revision and am actively looking into plastics, but that wont solve the problem.  It will only be a quick fix.  I dont want to spend any more money for quick fixes.  I want a perminant solution!

I have decided that I eat because I am bored, and then cant stop because of the taste.  I even know in my mind when I am full and mentally tell myself that I am going to be sick if I dont stop.  But low and behold, I continue.

Can anyone help me?  Steer me in the right direction?

Should I consult a psych?

 

Hi,  Not sure I can help, but I certainly feel the same way.  I started at 282, got down to 159, now back to 197.  Not happy with myself, trying to stay active and away from food, but it's not working.  I'll be anxious to see the replies you receive.

I can sure relate!! Im 2 yrs and a half out and have gained about 12 pounds and feel awful. Snacking and eating the wrong things, and no exercise! However, today I have made up my mind to get myself back on track. Im doing mainly protein, drinking my water again, and not drinking with meals. And tomorrow, Im going to go check out Curves and Im gonna dig out the Walk Away the Pounds dvds. I dont HAVE to be a failure, and I refuse to let this get the best of me. I am still a success, in that I took my weight off, so I can continue on from here. I know what Im doing wrong, now Ill take it one day, one hour at a time if I have to. Im going to start writing everything down again too.  I will accept the fact that I am human, and will have setbacks and times when I fall, but being human, I also have the ability to pick myself back up and go on.  There is no permanent solution to this weight problem that I have, and the sooner I admit that the better off I am. Even the surgery is just a tool to help get the weight off, to keep it off is up to me and my committment. Its the cards I have been dealt, as I recently heard Carnie Wilson say in response to the same problem. I could have been dealt a lot worse hand! Ill take it, and not complain any more. If anyone mentions that I look like I have gained, ill say, "I have a little , but its coming back off! Thats the beauty of the surgery,,it still works, when I work it!" We CAN do this! Blessings Betsy

I agree with you.  Getting back on track is all about identifying what caused the regain, tackling those bad habits, and working the surgery's restriction and malabsorption angles (along with exercise).  It can be a bear, but  I really think it's no more complicated for most people -- except those who may need a revision because their first surgery has suffered a mechanical failure (like a staple-line disruption or enlarged stoma).  My surgery's not broken, so I've been working on reversing my regain (40 pounds' worth of it) by getting back on track.  Most of my regain came from eating chocolate for years (ridiculous amounts of it) and by slacking off on exercise.  Returning to protein shakes 1-2x a day has helped, along with exercise and eating dense proteins first.  I'm limiting (but not eliminating) junky carbs and candies -- I don't eat more than one at a time and I don't eat 'em two days in a row.  So far (two months into this), I'm doing much, much better.  I've decided I'm just wired to lose control of my appetite if I eat junk food or treats too regularly (news flash, lol), WLS or no WLS.  So it has to be limited, but I can still achieve fullness and variety and enjoy good foods (cheeses are a favorite) -- just not those.   My understanding is that there's no type of WLS that'll succeed if you eat chocolate all day (not even the DS), so either I "deal" or I don't. Good luck and ~ hang in there ~, we can get back on track. Suzy C.

I'm almost 4 years out and have gained 15 pounds.  Part of my regain is from the hypoglycemia issue I have.   Last week I attended an Optifast meeting with a friend who is considering that.  The one thing that stuck in my mind was that it limits the choices you have for food.  If you continually eat only a few of the same foods, eventually, you stop being as hungry and the head hunger lessens.  And it makes sense.  If all I can have is a low-carb slim fast shake for a meal, it eliminates that choice of what to eat.  I seem to be incapable of making a sane choice because everything looks so darned good!   So for me, as I try to finally get rid of these last pounds, I'm limiting my choices.  Remember, we should be eating to live, not living to eat.  I don't really ever get hungry.  But I need to eat to live so I'm trying a new approach for me.  I'll let you know how it goes. Lyn

I read in an article just the other day that limiting our choices helps to get rid of the cravings.  The more choices we have the more we want it all.  So, I started limiting myself and just basically eating the same things day in and day out and I think it really works.  The less options you have the less it is like being a kid in a candy store with all these options tempting us.  I, like you, have a hard time making a "sane" choice in the presence of too much food.  That is why I have to stay away from the buffets.  LOL. Melissa

 

I'm in the same boat as you. Up 15 pounds since my low and eat for the same reasons as you. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me????  Why would I do this to myself again?  Do I really hate myself that much???? I've thought of consulting a psych. myself because I just don't understand why I would do this to myself. Good luck.  Hope I find the right road again. and you too. Koukla

I have found this whole journey a hard one mentally~I am an emotional eater and a food addict, so food is what I know and what I do~bored, sad, happy, stressed, pissed, etc. I went to a therapist that specializes in eating disorders and it has helped. She tried to teach me some coping mechanisms~sometimes they work, sometimes they don't or should I say sometimes I'm successful with that and sometimes not. I am such a work in progress and I really understand your struggles. I don't think seeking out some type of therapy would hurt and hopefully it would help! Being aware is a HUGE first step so I think you're on the right track! Good Luck to You!

I, too, am in a similar situation.  I am almost 2 years out from RNY (surgery on 6/12/06) and started out at 345 lbs.  My lowest weight after surgery was 227.  I was up to 238 just this past week and said "oooh boy, I need to get back on track!".  I have been eating like crap (fast food, starbucks, desserts, lots of snacking at night, lots of carbs, not enough water) and not exercising hardly at all.  As of last week, I decided enough was enough, and back on track.  My original weight loss goal was 140 pounds, putting me around 205 lbs (I am 5'11", so that would be a good weight for me actually...about a size 12/14)  AND, I am getting married in October, so I am really trying to get myself in check to loose this "extra" weight that I gained the past year or so, plus loose the weight I never lost to begin with.  I need to loose a total of 30 pounds to get to my goal...and I know it won't be easy.  For me, the trick is exercise, water, and cut WAY back on sugars and carbs.  It's working!  I have lost 3 pounds in the past 5 days, just by adjusting my eating and walking 3 miles a day.  I still eat when I am hungry, just trying to make better choices.  Eating low fat cottage cheese and blueberries for breakfast, turkey slices (or tuna) on whole wheat bread and a 1/2 cup lentil soup for lunch, and either salmon or chicken and a veggie for dinner.  Also having 1 protein bar a day (20 grams protein) and trying to drink at least 80 ounces of water everyday. Also trying to get back onto my vitamins.  You can do it!!!! Just get back to basics.  I know, easier said then done.  I have been very hard on myself lately, and just with a few small changes, I'm already starting to lose weight again.  THINK POSITIVE - you CAN do it!

I too, can relate.  However, I am good at getting on track and losing a few pounds in a week, and then falling off the wagon again and gaining them back.  I have gained about 10 pounds in the past year, although I have stayed pretty much the same now since November.   I was never good at drinking water, or at avoiding liquids with my meals.  I go off the rails every weekend when I am home (and bored).  I don't have energy to do anything much on the weekends.  I am still pleased with the weight loss I have had, but I am so fearful of the pounds continuing to creep on. Lori