How happy are YOU allowed to be...after weight loss....??

Well.....no one said it would be easy.....I am 2.5 years post op.....I went from a size 28 to a 4 and the emotional side of this is crazy...... If I am too happy.....too confident......I am looked at as ****y.....stuck up.....arrogant....when none of those things are near the truth..... If I get too many compliments.......people seemed threatened.....frustrated etc.... If I down play the compliments or respond honestly to them.....Like my old large self....I get accused of trying to gain attention........ They talked about me when I was large....but they weren't threatened by me ..... They still talk about me now.......... I am refusing to down play my weight loss success anymore to make anyone else feel better..... I was INVISIBLE for 21 years......I have done an amazing thing.....I am successful.....and I am proud..I sat back and watched them "slink" into parties in their little black dresses....and I complimented them, and I envied them........I sat back and watched them go out on dates and I baby sat for them......I sat at the table at the bar alone while they danced and I watched their drinks and held their purses..... It's my time......If it makes them uncomfortable....I am sorry.....If they feel left out when people compliment and make a fuss over my new and improved self....it's only a tiny taste of what I have felt for years....If they are my true friends and love me.....they will.....HOLD...... MY...... PURSE!!

yup everything you say is so true.  and people do feel very nervous around the new improved versions we present.  i encountered the same with a lady at my job.   just relax and enjoy and be happy.  you deserve it!!! hugs, jacki

I love having this site...to express myself...it has been my saving grace for years....I am just beginning to be able to talk to others on here....Thank you for your response......

Wow............  you posted my feelings to a tee. Amazing and so true.... thanks for being so honest and helping me put my feelings into words! Good for you.... but I wont hold your purse LOL Im goin dancing LOL Hugs

I got goose bumps at the end of your post! I think you expressed it perfect! I think you'll find a lot of us relate! Congratulations on your success. I too am 2.5 years post op, started at size 28 or 30..didn't get to a size 4, or even 8, or 10, or 12..aww but 14? YES. Huge accomplishment, but you're an inspiration that us old size 28ers can be everything we've wanted and envied.  I'm now aiming for size 8 (well first size 12, then go from there..baby steps). You're awesome....just don't bring your purse keep your i.d and debit card in the back pocket of your SUPER sexy jeans and show them your moves! lol If you're wearing that little black dress, guess you'll need a purse. Leslee

Good for you! Gone on and be happy and the he!! with them...don't even take a purse :-)

I'm going to print your post and put it above my desk...I may even include it in my family newsletter at Christmas...What you wrote is aw-inspiring and written from the heart... THANK YOU!

I compeletly understand what you're going thru! It can be very hurtful, but things will get better. Mine started at about 2yrs post op and it took me about a year to get over everything. Now I just say "who cares what anyone else thinks!" As long as my husband, my kids and I are all fine, then all is right with the world~screw the rest of them! And you're so right~they talked about me when I was fat, then they talked worse about me when I got thin~don't they have anything better to do with their time?!?! You definitely find out who your true friends are and in my case its been interesting to see the ones that stuck by  my side and the ones that stabbed me in the back~some were surprising in the end. As my therapist put it "they were caught off guard at how well I 'cleaned up' and some people can never be happy for someone else and their success". You hang in there and don't let it get you down!!! You just keep on enjoying life and living it to the fullest! Congratulations to you on all of your success!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats so true!  I was so suprised at the people that thought i thought i was "all that" (that's a direct quote from someone).  I don't think i'm "all that".  I just think im better than I was.  I'm healthier and thinner!  But let me tell you when I see an extremely obese person, i send up a prayer to GOD asking Him to help them, if they want help and to watch over them if they don't.  In my heart i know i was gonna be that person.  I also sent one up for my surgeon.  Have a good one.  Michelle

Wonderful, great post.  It is very hard to read.  Wouldn't it be easier to just use one period? I found that people needed us to be what we were.  It suited their purpose for us to be in the background or for them to perceive us to be less than them.  We weren't less than them, but they like to think we were.  When they saw us grow emotionally, it threatened their world.  Who was going to hold their purse?  Who was going to be the fat one and make them look like the skinny one?  I don't know how many times I have heard my tall friends say "now you weight less than me."  I love to hear  "I wish I could lose 187 pounds" from people that are only a little overweight.  I answer "first you have to suffer through being 200 pounds overweight."  They just say "Oh." I admire your spirit.  Continue to embrace your changes.  You should be proud.  I would be honored to take turns holding your purse.  Loris