Nancy J.
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Ruth R. 21 years, 11 months ago
Nancy, my heart aches for you. First, I am so happy for you that you have made it to the "other" side. I hope to join you one day. I'm so sorry about the situation with your husband. I understand what it is like to have a problem with your husband. I have been married almost 24 years, and most of them have been rocky. I pray that things will get easier for you.
Tammy D. 21 years, 11 months ago
Nancy, I think I speak for most of us here at AMOS (newbies and longer term folks) As Sharon W. said earlier today, we are all here to help you.. Circle YOUR Wagon..Concentrate on YOU and what you need to heal, both mentlly and physically. Please continue to take the time to share with us, we want to help. Have a peaceful night and realize that tomorrow is a new day and with each new day new hope for the future will come closer
charanewme 21 years, 11 months ago
Nancy my heart goes out to you in these hard times but God gave you the best gift of all 3 beautiful daugthers. My prayers are with you and your girls.
Suzanne M. 21 years, 11 months ago
I am so sorry to hear about your troubles...it's difficult when any relationship ends but right after surgery is really unfair. I would wonder at anyone who would leave like that after so many years of marriage. Is he intimidated by the new you? Just know that it does get better. I ended an 8 year relationship and now 1 1/2 years later, I am happier with my life than I thought possible (except for my weight). It's so hard but time really does help. Hang in there and know that there are others who have walked in your shoes.
tonitreadway 21 years, 11 months ago
I read your post and am so sorry for your hard times! Please know that you are loved and appreciated and each day will bring a bit more peace to your life, both with regards to wls and your personal situation. We are here for you.
mjvallee 22 years ago
Nancy: I am so sorry that your husband decided to leave you. I can only imagine how you feel. If you need to talk we are here, or you can e-mail me anytime. Your life will be changing for the better as the weight comes off, I promise. It did for me. I now have the most energy and postitive attitude about myself..more than ever. There was a time that I honestly thought my husband and I would not be together, soon after surgery myself, but I did this for me first, my child second and our marriage third. When you feel better about you, then all else falls into place. I promise. Good luck, HUgs, MJ
Dawn V. 22 years ago
I am sorry to hear about your husband leaving. What a time to do it. Try and stay focused though I know it is hard. Hang in there.
Anna L. 22 years ago
Nancy - I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. From what I've read here on AMOS, the first several weeks post-op are tough enough...now you're dealing with this! Embrace your children, embrace the post-op phase of the WLS journey, be kind to yourself. Be sure to reach out to people who love you, your family and your friends. That includes all of us here at AMOS! Sometimes it's easier to talk to all of us than to the people closest to you. Hoping that your physical pain is easing, and that you'll soon be feeling better than ever, in every way. God Bless - Anna
Sharon W. 22 years ago
To Nancy and others that are going through a loved one leaving us. First let me say how sad it is to hear of your situation. Here is my experience (and I've lived a long life already)- it is called CIRCLE THE WAGONS: I understand that difficulties with current relationships (husbands/wives, significant others, parents, siblings, and friends) are not so uncommon before and after this type of life-altering surgery, or with other life-threatening/ life-altering circimstances; especially difficulties with relatives who live and work at the same place...jealousy, envy, fear of change, and all sorts of emotions that this new change brings out in people... That is why my doctor recommended therapy with a therapist who has had personal WLS experience. (There are some listed listed on this site.)... I myself am pre-op and have gone through some very difficult times already with my 86 year old mother who lives with me and is VERY narcisistic and tries to undermine my decision and will be VERY jealous and more undermining after my surgery... All my close friends are very supportive, but some of my more distant family members are VERY critical and I told them I can't see or talk to them during this time because negativity is not part of my surgery and recovery plan... ALSO, I find that it is important and common in times like ours, to "CIRCLE THE WAGONS" before surgery and during recovery. That is to be totally focused on what we need to do for ourselves to make this transition in our lives successful and as easy as possible (and you know easy it is NOT). Those that are not willing participants to enter the "circle" with us and support us, unfortunately have made their choice, and I find it is best to set them aside in our lives, whether temporarily or permanently... This is not a time to spend useless energy on those that are not "with us"... I hope you can draw hope from this saying, which some wonderful and wise person told to me: "When One Door Closes, Another Opens". I wish you all the best (((hugs))) "Nana" Sharon