Hi Angel, I am excited to see another believer out there that struggles with the same things that I do. Our Lord Jesus Christ knows all of our doubts and fears and is able to walk us through any circumstance. I understand your fears about the surgery and I just want to encourage you to carry them all to the Lord in prayer. Please remember that he is the great physician and it is his hands that will fill the gloves of the surgeons on your behalf. I, like you, rejoice in the wonderful spouse that God has given me. My wife Sandy is my best and dearest friend. She fell in love with me, not the earthy tent I walk around in. We both embrace what the prophet Samuel said, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7b. God bless you and your family. Gary G.