not sure how to deal

Mar 02, 2009

Ok as most of you know I have to go Friday March 6th for an endoscopy and colonoscopy I found out last week that I have Ulcerative Colitis( An inflammatory bowel disease that affects the large intestine, or colon, and is characterized by ulcerations in some portion (right, left, segments or entirety) usually leading to bloody diarrhea and often with complications in other parts of the body) anyways Friday they want to look for cancer/polyps or anything else. Today against my better judgement I called Dr. Glass and told them what was going on they said that he would call me back once he decided what to do about the situation. Well I got the call (from the nurse) that Dr. Glass will NOT do the surgery on me if I have ulcerative Colitis but that I could always try the cities at the University Hospital.  Then after me getting upset and asking 3 times what if it is controled by medicine would he concider and all she said is we will see I am so sad that I have invested so much time in trying to find the "right" doctor for me for him to treat me like i don't matter. He could have given 5 minutes to speak with me instead he sent the nurse and wanted me to cancel my appointment with Kristin. THAT IS NOT HAPPENING!!! I am trying SO SO hard to get healthy and change my life for WHAt? To be told that my OWN body if fighting against me HOW is that fair? What did I do to deserve this?? What have I done that was so bad that I deserve to be sick or that I do deserve to have the bypass and be healthy? How am I supposed to be positive when all this negativity is surrounding me???After trying for 4+yrs for the surgery that I feel like it is never going to happen it feels like the cards are stacked against me and I can't win!!!

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