4 months post-op & I am out of control.....HELP

I am 4 months out and have lost 75 lbs. I kept saying, I didnt do this to be on a permantent diet...I wanna be normal and eat normal. Its a great idea for some I suppose..but not for me. I do not dump...the only time I have thrown up is if I dont chew meat well or eat pasta or rice. I can eat chocolate without dumping...The I-will-only-eat-one-tiny-piece-as-a-reward, led to me eating 5 uh-huh 5 pieces and a few hours later a few more. Yeah I know better but I swear it is like I just cannot control myself no matter what I do. I never go over 900 calories a day..but I went to fitday and started keeping track and I have had days when my carbs are in the 70's and my fat runs about 30. I know this is wrong and bad, but I feel so out of control. I have refused myself and noticed I was pacing the house like a caged animal at the zoo. I have waited years for this wls and have finally gotten it and now I feel like such an idiot that, me a grown woman, cannot control what I put into my face. I cant do the shakes they gag me, I am trying to find a bar I can tolerate hoping that it would help with the candy/chocolate/sugar cravings. I for some reason cant stand the taste of crystal light..It tastes like it has ground up aspirin in it. Splenda has a bitter after taste too. I have been trying to force myself to use the splenda to get used to it but I find that I will just nurse the drink for hours getting in only a few oz and I need more liquid than that. How can I get a hold of myself? I want so desperately for this to work. I have just sat and cried thinking about how dumb I am for not being able to get a hold of myself. Nothing works...I still go get the bad foods and stuff them into my mouth. The first few times I thought that since I had just discovered I could tolerate the junk food, I would let myself indulge and get it out of my system..BAD IDEA. Any suggestions would help. Thanks.

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