How can I relax myself and my conscience?

I am 10 days away from surgery (15th). I have never had any surgery before in my life. I am 31, no health problems, 291 and 5'5...I am sooo scared of dieing! I am scared I won't wake up. I am also scared that when the 15th arrives, I will change my mind and not go to the hospital or worse, get there and leave. I believe that when God decides it is your time it is your time, but, I am so scared! WHY? My friend who had surgery 2 wks ago had a blood clot in her lung over the weekend and could have died. How do I get over this...How do I relax myself? HELP!

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