Question:
I feel like everyone is now staring at me....
I am a month postop from Open RNY. I'm down about 25 pounds or so. I've gotten compliments which are nice to hear. The problem is now I am feeling self conscious. It seems like everyone is staring at me. One friend was all excited for me and said, "You are the talk of the town!". Attention has always made me feel uncomfortable. I am wondering how I will handle it when the weight loss becomes more drastic. It feels so strange. Anyone else feel like this? — [Anonymous] (posted on January 10, 2002)
January 10, 2002
I know exactly what you mean. I was just saying to my friend how I've never
liked attention of any kind, and that I'm afraid of what it will be like
when I lose weight. But just be proud of what you've accomplished so far,
and what you'll accomplish in the near future. People are just staring
because they are interested. Take it as a compliment and nothing more.
Don't dwell on it, just be proud. Best of luck to you!
— Jennifer M.
January 10, 2002
I understand completely. While I enjoyed being thin ten years ago, I have
never been comfortable with praise or too much attention either. I like
it, it just makes me uncomfortable. The people I work with have never seen
me thin. Everyone is looking at me and asking how I did it. I don't want
the whole world knowing, only a few close family members know what my tool
is. I tell as much of the truth as I want known, I say I am cutting
portion size and exercising. And those people who chose to look past me
before when I was heavy are now smiling at me and flirting. I don't let it
get to me. The people who were my friends when I was heavy are still the
ones I give my attention to. Of course, new people get the benefit of the
doubt. HAHA. Take it in stride. You have made a lifetime commitment to
change. You should be proud of that decision. Just try to remember it's
what is in your heart that is important. You will just have a smaller and
healthier vessel to carry it in. I believe once people get used to our
smaller sizes the staring and praise will quit. Then it will be the norm
for you.
Good luck
— Rachel F.
January 10, 2002
Try to get used to it ... AND ENJOY IT!!! Would you rather
stay where you were before? Sometimes when we lose weight
we can't handle the attention and tend to want to gain it
back just to be comfortable being "invisible" like we were
before. Look in the mirror and tell yourself "HONEY, YOU
LOOK GOOD!"
— [Anonymous]
January 10, 2002
I am not post-op but I had a similar situation about 4 years ago. I weighed
about 190 and managed to lose 40 lbs. It was the smallest anyone had ever
seen me. I fluctuated between 180 and 190 for about 5 years. I was 150 lbs
(140's some days) and I thought life would be grand!! I am a social person,
so I never realized how much the attention (especially from guys) would
freak me out. I was in a vintage store in NYC and trying on this great
jacket, while the sales guy in the store stared at me and tripped over
himself to compliment me and be sooooo nice to me!! He was not sleazy or
weird or whatever. He was a screen writer waiting for his big break (like
everyone in NYC). Perfectly datable guy. I was so self concious that he
was "checking me out" that I bought the jacket with my head held
low and fled the store for dear life! Now 5 years later, at 240 lbs., it
all makes sense. I did not like myself, thick or thin, and so who could
possibly like me? I have not had the surgery yet and am desperately hoping
to because I believe that it is my last chance for health. But... the one
thing I would like to do differently this time around is to work on ME (the
whole me). Probably no matter how skinny I get or how fantastic I look (I'm
supposing), there will always be those feelings of inadequacies and I think
now at least I have the "smarts" to recognize them. I think more
than desperately wanting to overhaul my abdomen, I want to overhaul me,
including my head! Good luck to you!!! Tara
— Tara J.
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