Question:
I ask this sincerely, how do you handle all the attention post op?
It is really getting to make me uncomfortable, especially at work. People are constantly telling me how thin I am getting and how "good" I look. Please don't think this is a silly problem... I am just trying to get "mainstreamed" and have as much normalcy as possible. This makes everything a bit too obvious for me. Any suggestions? — Ann B. (posted on July 12, 2002)
July 12, 2002
I may take some heat for this, but I strongly suggest you change your
attitude. You should be thrilled that you are looking that good. Those
people are proud of you and your accomplishment, and want to share in your
happiness. Just smile and say thank you. Eventually, once your weight
loss stabilizes, they'll become accustomed to it and will stop mentioning
it. For now, accept the fact that your body is going through remarkable
changes and that people ARE bound to mention it.
— photographer45
July 12, 2002
ENJOY... People are truly happy for you and this is the way they express
themselves. So sit back and be happy.
— Robert L.
July 12, 2002
I agree with Maryanne. There's really not much you can do about it without
hurting someone's feelings or making someone mad. I can totally understand
where you're coming from though. Just be patient. Like the previous post
said, once your weight stablizes, things will calm down.
— Kim B.
July 12, 2002
Ann, I totally, TOTALLY understand. Please don't feel silly! This is one
of the little oddities you never imagine you'll go through as a post op.
Pre-ops and those who don't experience this can't understand. It's as if
you are only interesting to people b/c of the weight you've lost! And even
though you are feeling great, looking great, and thrilled to death - it is
uncomfortable. I'm 2 years post op, and I work at the bariatric center
where I had surgery, and I am often uncomfortable when people "make a
fuss". My only advice is to just try to remind yourself why you did
this... you have succeeded, and the proof is obvious to everyone! Just
think what an inspiration you must be to others - and you may never know
it! Hang in there... it does get better... BIG congratulations on your
success! {{{hugs}}}
— Lisa P.
July 12, 2002
I say this honestly, sincerely and not with any kind of attitude. I say
"thank you and I feel great too. With this surgery looking good was
just an added bonus to regaining my health" That usually launches
into a discussion about the surgery itself and the co morbids, etc., that I
did suffer. Does it feel great? You betcha!!!
And if someone asks me how much I've lost, I say I went from size 24 to
size 4/6 and leave it at that. I say I am happy, healthy, and doing really
well, thanks again!! And then I leave it alone. If the conversations goes
on about the surgery and its effects, great...if not, if the subject
changes, it goes away. I've had guys "hit on me" too, guys I
have worked with for 10 years or more..."if you ever leave your
husband, blah blah blah", well, I have a standard answer for that
too..."he stuck with me during my obesity, so I'll stick with him
during health...he's already well trained and I don't feel like training
another one...besides, I am far too high maintenance now. You couldn't
handle me" and that usually shuts 'em all up LOL
Have a great day and a sparkling lifetime of health and happiness.
~CAE~
— Mustang
July 12, 2002
At the library where I work we have a lot of repeat patrons that become
like family....well, I have become almost a pet project with
them....sometimes it is overwhelming and sometimes I feel like that is all
I talk about but I am so happy to have the air to talk with and the energy
to help them find the books that they want....why complain.
— Oldsoul
July 12, 2002
I have used a technique that almost ALWAYS works. Imagine this scenario
... a co-worker says, "Wow, you are looking SOOOO good! Wow! You're
getting SOOO skinny!" Then you say, "Thank you! By the way, you
are looking great, too! REALLY great! I mean that! What are you doing?
Have you lost weight? Your skin looks so radiant, and you look so
happy!" Normally, people compliment other people because they want
the same in return (i.e. "Golden Rule" mentality). If you
constantly take the focus off yourself by complimenting the other person,
they will quickly get the hint. I promise. It works everytime!
— Terissa R.
July 12, 2002
Hi - man, I know how you feel, but honestly, deep down, doesn't it feel
great? I have a hard time excepting compliments, and I'm working on
getting better at it. I've learned to just say "Thank you!", but
I still get embarrassed by the attention...Just the other day, I was
walking during an afternoon break with my friend at work, and we went
through our tech support department (I hadn't seen alot of these people
since I had surgery) and my friend made us walk by each person's desk, and
she was saying "look at her - doesn't she look great? Look at her
butt! Oh, I was so red! You just have to go with the flow, smile and say
Thank you, and know that they are truly happy for you! It will taper off
in time. Congratulations on being a big loser!
— lily1968
July 12, 2002
A year ago I would not have even imagined that I would have all of my
co-workers saying those words to me!!!! I agree with the previous poster-
I tell them "Thank you, I feel great too". I feel so lucky and
so blessed to be so healthy and happy now. RNY Jan. 2002 down -86 pds.
— roshelle P.
July 12, 2002
I am 10 weeks post-op as of today and have lost 57 pounds. A few of the
people I work with have told me I'm looking so much better but most of them
haven't said one word about my weight loss. I don't know if they're trying
to not be rude but sometimes I wish I'd hear more compliments! I don't
really need anyone to validate what I'm doing. It just would be nice to
know that my hard work and efforts are noticeable. So my advice to you is
just say "thank you" and be happy with yourself. If they try to
drag you into a conversation about it and you don't feel like talking about
it, politely find an excuse for having something urgent you need to go do!
;o)
— Jennifer A.
July 12, 2002
Ann,
I know exactly how you feel here I am at 7 weeks post-op and down 45
pounds, people that have never talked to me before at work ( men ) are now
talking to me. I feel a little odd at times, since before they never gave
me time of day. Also I find people allot nicer to me, more willing to help
me with doors and groceries. Also I seem to notice the woman (smaller)
stare at me. It's puts me in an odd position, but I guess they are just
jealous of me loosing weight. I love the attention only a times. And feel
at other times, that may need to resort back to my paxil, to deal with it.
My husband understands me, I love him for it. He's the world's greatest
guy. He's the fan I'll let enjoy and compliment without feeling un-easy
about..
— tannedtigress
July 12, 2002
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. Your words of advice, support
and encouragement are appreciated. It is good to know
your insights and experiences with this, and many of you
hit on the exact feelings that I am having. I am grateful!
Regards,
— Ann B.
July 12, 2002
I'm shy, but I sure don't mind the attention I get from people. It does'nt
bother me in the least although some say I'm getting to skinny. No way, I'm
no where near that yet. lol. Anyway, I think people are just very happy FOR
YOU. ;)
— Danmark
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