Question:
Looking for the actual study that gives the divorce rate as more than 50%.
I am looking for the actual study that lists the post-op divorce rate as more than 50%. I have seen references to this study many times but I can't find it anywhere. Any ideas? Thanks! — PattyL (posted on June 16, 2004)
June 15, 2004
I undersatand the national divorce rate for EVERYONE floats near 50% over
the long term. Most of my friends are divorced:( I am a product of a
divorce. My parents split when I was one week old. I am 47 growing up
without a dad was the PITS:(:(:( It wasnt acceptable back then.<P>
But I DONT believe 50% of everyone who gets WLS ends up divorced. Being
part of a HUGE support group its just not true for our group. Our surgeons
group has done thousands of WLS and presently is doing near 30 a week. Many
spouses show up both before and after surgery. <P> I am SAD to report
theres ONE exception. Where both the husband and wife qualify for surgery
but ONLY one gets it. Long term with one thin and one heavy the divorce
rate reported by my surgeon is near 100%.<P> The generally accepted
rule is this. Good marriages get better, bad iones go away. Some folks
settled pre op for anyone who would have them. After surgery the new you
realizes say a abusive wife beater isnt good enough and moves on. They show
up on Q&A from time to time. In cases like this its good they can get
out.<P> Then we have a thankfully small minority who want to cheat.
They typically dont get a real friendly reception here.<P> If your
getting surgery for your HEALTH, then I wouldnt worry too much about it.
Without decent health little else matters.
— bob-haller
June 15, 2004
Sadly, I think Bob is right. I heard something just the other day about
the divorce rate in this country and it was just over 50%. I believe if
you have a good marriage, it will stay good or get better. If you have a
bad one, it will probably stay bad or get worse. In two cases I've seen
though where the marriage was not too good because of esteem issues with
one spouse being MO, when the weight came off, the marriage got better. It
was funny but once the MO person took responsibility for their own health,
they also took responsibility for their own happiness instead of depending
on the spouse to make them happy. Both those couples started behaving like
newlyweds. It was pretty cool to see and I can honestly say, my husband
and I are a lot happier together too since I'm happier.
— scbabe
June 16, 2004
I believe the study said that it's a 50% divorce rate WITHIN 2 YEARS of the
surgery. That's what made it different than the general nationwide divorce
rate. Sorry I don't remember where I saw it! BTW, I wouldn't worry about
it if you have a strong marriage. My dh loved me fat, and he loves me
thin. We've had no problems whatsoever.
— mom2jtx3
June 16, 2004
There is a common misconception that the "national divorce rate"
is approximately 50%, but that just is not the case. This number was
arrived at by using the number of marriages in any given year to that of
the number of divorces in that same year. Currently, the number of divorces
is approximately half of the number of marriages that occur this year, for
example. But this does not equal 50% of ALL marriages ending in divorce.
The only way this equation would make sense was if 50% of the couples who
got married this year also got divorced this year. It doesn't make sense to
include divorces from marriages that occured 10 or more years ago that just
happened to occur this year. There is no way that anyone can conclude that
half of all people getting married this year are going to end up divorced
based on this kind of study. In reality, the true numbers of marriages
ending in divorce is approximately 30%. <p>As for divorces among WLS
couples, I have seen much evidence indicating that the rate is quite a bit
higher due to changing dynamics in the marriage when the weight is lost.
Some couples can handle it and some can't.
— artistmama
June 16, 2004
If out of 100 marriages, 50 divorices occur, it doesn't mean that 50% of
the people married get divoriced. it also needs to be factored in the ones
who marry -divorice , remarry - divorice etc. Divoriced people who remarry
have a much higher rate of divorice than first marriages.
— **willow**
June 17, 2004
I have a pretty large network of post-op friends, and am thankful that none
are divorced yet, since their WLS. At least none that I know of... fingers
are crossed for all my friends.
— kultgirl
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