Question:
What is your opinion about this?
A few days back, I asked a question about "did anyone have bad results from wls." (My brother asked me to). Ok, I received an email from someone that has not had good results. In fact, this person said if they had it to do over, they probably would not have it done. There has been little wt loss, physical problems, This person was told by the surgeon to eat 8 small meals per day. I am told that this ads up to about 1200 calories. There is some exercise but it is limited due to health problems from the surgery. The person sounds frustrated and angry. (I guess I'd be too if that happened to me). I was told that the wls is not the MAGICAL solution to wt loss that everyone on this website says that it is. Each person is different, and can react to the surgery in various ways. I KNOW that wls is no MAGICAL solution. It requires self discipline on my part when I am post op for the rest of my life. What I seemed to get from the letter, was that everyone here says how really GREAT wls is...and that this is not a true picture of how it CAN end up. My surgery is 20 days away. I have to be honest and say that the message I got from that letter did disturb me. It got me wondering again, is this what is best for me? I know that I want the wls. I am so prepared for it. Something is going on inside my "head" since I read that letter. Any comments, suggestions, or anything else anyone wants to say about this? (I won't mention the person's name) That part is pvt between the writer and myself. If the person that wrote that email to me is reading this, please don't be upset that I am writing this. It is nothing against you. I just need some other feedback about this situation. — kathy S. (posted on June 28, 2000)
June 28, 2000
Well, I'm not sure what his/her surgeon put him/her on as far as
meals or calories, but I can tell you to have a good steady weight loss
with as few plateaus as possible then you should adhere to between 700
to 800 calories and most of those calories should be from protein..
Drink non-calorie liquids.. So many times I see people kill their
weight loss by drinking high calorie juices and drinks and loading
carbs. Drinking 64 oz or better of water is a must and exercise in
almost any form builds strength and stamina and firms muscle tone..
You're not going to be happy with weight loss results when you're not
willing to follow standard menu protocol.. If you're in doubt what
you're eating and drinking a day use the www.dietwatch.com online program
it's free and really keeps tract of your daily intake. I have never
ever been sorry for one minute of my decision to have WLS or my
surgery type.. I'm 6 months post-op and down 124 pounds.. Life is great
and I'm healthy.. It keeps getting better and better.. ;-)
— Victoria B.
June 28, 2000
I do understand your dilemma, but, if I may point out, that's one letter
describing her problems with wls. There are thousands of us the surgery
HAS worked for. No one says this surgery is fool proof. Everything has to
go right: from the surgeon to the recovery to following doctor's orders in
order to be successful. There were a 100 times I questioned my decision to
have this surgery before it was done, and many times during the first month
post-op .. however, now I'd do it with no anasthesia. I'm that happy with
the results already and I'm only 5.5 weeks post op and down 30 lbs. You
have to make this decision .. don't base it on one person's surgical
failure (no fault of their own I'm sure) .. base your decision on what
you've learned both from this site and from any support network you may
have .. base your decision on your surgeon and your faith in him .. base
your decision on what you feel is right for you. I'm so sorry this other
person has not had good luck with her surgery and I'm glad she pointed out
her problems so you are aware of them. However, be careful you don't make
a decision based solely on one person's feelings. Good luck to you in
making your decision. If the person who had bad luck reads this, I hope
you have better luck in the future. Maybe there's still hope things could
turn around for you. You're in my prayers.
— Sonya H.
June 28, 2000
If you needed a heart transplant to save your life, would you refrain
because there are some heart transplant patients who don't make it? If you
had breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy, would you refrain because
there are women who die of breast cancer even with a mastectomy? If you
needed a bone marrow transplant, would you refrain because not all cancer
treatments are successful? If you needed your appendix taken out before it
burst, would you refrain because some people die on the table? I think all
of the answers to these questions is that no, you would not refrain. You
would do whatever is necessary to improve your health and quality of life.
Why would you question an approved and safe procedure that in essence cures
your obesity and all the health problems associated with it (provided you
do YOUR part)? It sounds to me like you are intentionally looking for a
reason not to have WLS, and you are too wrapped up in other people's fears
(your's, your brother's, etc.) To be honest, if you are that unsettled
about it, perhaps the best thing you should do is to postpone or cancel. I
don't agree with it, but this is your choice to do with your body as you
wish. As I have mentioned in another posting lately, pre-op fear is so
much worse than the actual surgery. Hang in there.
— Paula G.
June 28, 2000
Kathy, Think about wls in this manner..."a surgical procedure that
"fixes" our bodies so that it can finally respond favorably to
our own weight loss efforts". You're right when you say that wls is
not a majic formula. It's not. It's a "tool" that we can use to
help us in our battle with obesity. And just like any other
"tool", used improperly, it won't work to it's maximum
efficiency. We have to use this "tool" properly to ensure it's
maximum effiency too. You and I have been online enough and done enough
research to realize that the post op diet prescribed by our surgeons can
make or break our weight loss success. And most surgeons have different
dietary guidelines post-op. Some of those guidelines are very strict and
regimented and others are, well, in some cases, practically non-existent.
But we can (and in many cases, HAVE) learned how to differenciate between
the good and bad "diets" to find what's right for us to achieve a
maximum loss. We can continue to keep the weight off with wls, because
it's kinda like "the gift that keeps on giving" too. Not only
will this "fixing" of our bodies continue to restict the amount
of food we can eat as well as continue to restrict the amount of calories
we absorb from that food, but it also give us "time" to learn how
to eat properly and how the benefits of a good exercise program continue to
keep us healthy. Now, I don't doubt that there are cases where wls has not
worked for some individuals, and I honestly feel for those individuals who
have gone through all the heartache that they must have experienced. But
you know as well as I do that this is a PROVEN surgical procedure that was
designed to assist the morbidly obese finally win the battle with an
illness that could ultimately kill them that DOES work in the high majority
of patients. I agree with the previous posting that asked about having
other life saving surgical procedures. No one would question our decision
to have a mastectomy to remove a life threating cancerous lump from our
breast, or the decision to have double, triple or even quadruple bypass
surgery to "fix" our heart. Yet for some reason, society still
sees wls as "the easy way out" and does NOT see or accept our
obesity as a life threatening "disease" that CAN finally be cured
through a surgical procedure. They feel that we "deserve" to be
fat because of our own lack of will power or self-discipline...and if we
die as a result of our obesity, well, it was our own fault. BUNK! We
deserve to be healthy and happy just like anyone else. Our decision to
take to bull by the horns and DO SOMETHING positive about our obesity is
one of the bravest ones we can make. My best friend recently gave me an
initial ("J") pinky ring as a token of our friendship to
recognize my "brave" decision to TAKE MY LIFE BACK by having wls.
I'm no where near goal yet, but I'm determined to make it. And I finally
have a HOPE that I CAN and WILL make it. I guess the final, most important
question you need to answer here, Kathy, is how bad do YOU what that
hope??...how bad do you want to TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK and how just how
"brave" are you willing to be to get it?
— cj T.
June 28, 2000
Hi Kathy: This surgery is not for everyone. If 100 people break their
arms, and have them casted after being set, one or 2 of them will have a
few complications, perhaps one will even lose the use of their arm. If 100
people buy new Fords, 1 or 2 of them will have things go wrong. One might
even be a real 'lemon' and be eligible for replacement under the 'lemon
laws'. If 100 people have their wiring in their house worked on for the
same problem, a few of them will have continuing problems, and may require
rewiring their whole house! I don't mean to trivialize the person's
problems that you spoke of, the point I'm trying to make is that nothing in
life is guaranteed. It's very sad that this person has not had a good
experience with WLS. I have personally lost a friend to it (he died ater
his WLS). All I know is this: WLS changed my life. Do your research.
Talk to patients who have used your doctor. Think long and hard. Pray if
you're inclined to do so. Decide what is best for you, based on your life,
your experiences, your relationships, your research. Think about whether
or not you will be happy with the way you are for the rest of your life.
I'm not saying have the surgery, or don't have the surgery. Like I said
before, it's not for everyone. Please make the decision based on YOU.
You're right, not very many people who are unhappy with the surgery post
here. I personally think that statistically there probably aren't that
many people (relatively speaking)who have the surgery who are unhappy with
the results. Most who do have it are highly motivated and driven to
succeed. In any event, good luck with your decision. Jaye Carl, RN, open
proximal RNY (divided) 7-29-99, 110 pounds gone forever!
— Jaye C.
June 28, 2000
You say that you were told that wls is not the MAGICAL solution
to wt loss that everyone on this website says that it is.
Excuse me, but I have a problem with this statement. You are
obviously reading something different that I have been reading
for the past year. I am on this website and have never said
that wls is a MAGICAL solution. At the moment, I don't recall
anyone saying this. Everyone will, however, say that wls is
a tool to do with as you wish. If you're not willing to do
your part, then why have the surgery. It's not a quick fix.
You will have to work at it. The beauty of it is, however, that
with this surgery, you have built in help to take the weight
off and keep it off.
— Tina H.
June 28, 2000
Well now, one person answered my question w/ "I think you are
trying to find an excuse not to have the surgery." Another person
said that "as far as a Magical solution being talked about on this
website, she never heard anyone mention that and that I must be
reading things wrong." All the other answers seemed to be very
insightful, caring and helpful. They helped me a lot. Thanks.
This is the second question that I posted this week where I have
gotten nasty or testy answers from one or two individuals. I was
at a point after the first one, where I was deciding not to ask
anymore questions on this page for fear of upseting some people.
Well, I tried again, today and I still got a couple (so far)
answers like that, again. I have always been controversial by
some of the things I say, but that is me. It seems like some people
on here are wanting to "throw stones" at me...thinking I am
the one saying that wls stinks!! I wrote the letter sharing
some of the things that ANOTHER POST OP shared w/ me about
their concerns/problems post op. The person that wrote I am
trying to find an excuse to not have the surgery is WRONG.
I can't see why some people get so upset when one of us tries
to examine all aspects of this prior to doing it. I am one that
has to research all areas prior to doing something. I DO NOT
think that is WRONG. I am glad that there are so many post op's
that have been successful in their fight w/ morbid obesity!!
but please, don't shoot me down for sharing a negative opinion
about wls w/ you that came from someone else. I wrote the original
letter to get some feedback from you as to what I should make of
this, not to be put down for discussing it. Thank ALL of you
who have shared your thoughts and concerns w/ me in a positive
way. YOU have helped me find ANOTHER answer!! (geez, how many
questions do I have?!!) : ~ ]
— kathy S.
June 28, 2000
Kathy,
Like so many others that visit this site on a regular basis, I too am sold
on WLS. This was not always the case. For the last 20 years or so, whenever
anyone, medical or otherwise, even hinted at surgery, I got as far away
from them as possible! I immediately went into defense mode and
emphatically stated that they could keep their ideas to themselves! But
then, we all have been "young & Stupid" :) However time has
passed and I am now "older & Wiser" (or so I like to think:).
However with all choices that involve life changing events; WE must be
ready for the change! If not, then that change will not be successful. If
You are confident in your decision to have WLS, then your brother's opinion
should not matter. It's always Nice to have familial support at times like
these, but it's not essential. Your brother cannot live your life for you.
Nor should he make this decision for you. If he is worried about your
success or failure, let him know what he can do to help you succeed. If he
is just worried because it's surgery, and any surgery is dangerous, he's
just being a caring and concerned brother. Be glad that he cares. Share
with him the research material that you have. Discuss with him the reasons
that brought you to the decision to have the surgery in the first place.
But remember the ultimate decision is yours! The only question now is; Are
You Sure You Are Ready? If the answer is anything other than YES, then step
back, reconsider, if necessary postpone or cancel surgery. No one can force
you to have WLS, just as no one else can make the decision for you. For
myself, I have finally seen the "Light":) I do not deceive myself
by thinking that nothing bad could ever happen to me. I expect the best
result, but I am also preparing for the worst just in case. Those
preparations are to make things easier on my mother should things go wrong.
But I believe that no matter where you are, or what you are doing, when
it's your "time to go" then you will go. If it is my time, then
so be it; but if not, WLS will make the remaining time I have that much
easier to deal with. May you make the decision that is right for YOU. Good
Luck:) ttfn
Diane aka Barbara
— Barbara I.
June 28, 2000
Kathy - I'm sorry you took my posting negatively. It was not meant in that
tone, and you shouldn't take it that way either. I contribute regularly to
this site because it has helped me a great deal, and I want to pass on the
same support to others who are going through this same experience. I don't
use this site to tear down others, because I am a better person than that.
As far as I can read, no one is shooting you down for your negative
opinions. Major surgery isn't black and white, and no one can promise that
the world will be all rosy. But in your original posting you seem to be
searching for reasons to have WLS. If you have done the research
thoroughly and still feel very uneasy about it, then WLS may not be for
you. If you want to ask questions of other people, I think you have to be
prepared to hear some answers you may not want to. Again, if I have
offended you, I am sorry, but that was never my intention.
— Paula G.
June 28, 2000
There are certain choices that have to be made in regards to food etc. A
lot of people think that this surgery is an end but it is just a means to
an end. I have never really regretted my decision but there are foods that
I miss every now and then. It is a choice and you should examine all your
options before proceeding further
— snicklefritz
June 28, 2000
Kathy,
I really do understand where you are coming from. Before I had
surgery, I had researched and found people who had gone to
my surgeon and asked about their experiences. I had many
positive responses and one negative response. Which one do
you think I obsessed over? The negative one of course, because
if these things could happen to this poor woman, they could
happen to me, too! At first, I wished I hadn't heard from her.
But, I realized I was THANKFUL that she had the courage to share
because when I did have surgery, I knew some warning signs to
look for concerning post-op care and the like. I knew what
to ask for and what NOT to settle for and spoke up for myself
if needed. Since going to another surgeon wasn't an option
for me, the information I received from her, while a little scary,
I think helped me have a good experience. I think you are totally
normal in how you are feeling. My advice is to use ALL the
information you get about WLS to make a truly INFORMED decision.
You do need to hear all sides, if only to help you be aware
of what could happen. By the way, my surgery was very successful-
down 73 lbs. in 5 1/2 months and am having fun. It is very hard
work for me as food was my drug of choice for years, and so, emotionally,
I struggle with head hunger. However, my stomach size and
reaction to certain foods have made it possible for me to
learn how to deal with problems without medicating them away,
and I am becoming the person I believe I was meant to become! This
surgery can be a marvelous tool!!! Sorry for going on for so long
and good luck!!!
— M B.
June 28, 2000
THANKS TO EVERYONE that has posted their opinions on this subject
for me to read. I appreciate ALL. Even the one's that I took as being
"negative", they too, gave me something to
think about. Like the one that asked: Was I looking for an excuse to not
have the
surgery. You, too helped me to search my soul, even though it was hard to
do. If there is an answer that I feel is truly
negative/nasty, it too helps to make me stronger once I get past the
negativity. So many good
thing for me to consider, think about.."do I want to take charge of my
life and be brave enough to make the decision to
make it come true?" YES I do. YES I will. Thinking of the post
reminding me how silly it can be to not have heart surgery, if
needed, just cause a few don't make it through! Makes a lot of sense to me.
Then, there are always Ava Lee and Victoria, telling
me in their gentle ways, their own perceptions of this picture. I AM
stronger as a result of all this. "Am I ready to accept that
just maybe this time that I have now might be all there is for me, can I
accept it? Can I do it in order to take the chance of
gaining my life back, once more?" Is it ok w/ me, truly? Geez!! that
was a rough one to think about and come to a decision on!
Yet, I needed to face that, too. THANK YOU for reminding me of that. I also
truly believe that when my time on this earth is
done, when I have done my part and it is time to go, it will happen. If it
is not my time, if I have more lessons to learn or more
people to teach, then I will continue to live until it is MY TIME to go.
Geezz! thinking about this "mortality thing" is really hard!!
Bouncing back to the idea that it is most probable that I will make it thru
this surgery (doing a whole turn around in my thinking)..
after facing my possible mortality..ok, I CAN AND WILL do that, too.
Someone else said that the fears post op are worse than the surgery
itself!! ok, that is good! It makes me feel as if I can take charge of
these pre op jitters/fears and not let them overcome me, one day
at a time until July 18th. It is really funny, when I started out on this
long road to surgery, I never thought that I'd have to be facing
all these things. I didn't remember that I am the kind of person that can
not/does not take things at "face value." I am the kind that has
to look at all sides, explore them, analyze them, meditate on them, before
coming to a decision as to what action I will take. Sometimes, I think
it is good being this way, other times, I think it is not so good,
especially when I get "stuck" in one part of the issue and have
difficulty getting
out again so that I can once again look at the TOTAL PICTURE. Ok, I am
here, I am ready. Let's go!! I place my trust in my surgeon. I place my
faith in God.
I AM READY. (but please pray for me,ok?) {{{thanks everyone}}}
— kathy S.
July 2, 2000
Hi:
I had my wls over 5 years ago. I can honestly say I would
do it again, and it was the best thing i ever did for myself
Each person has to decide for themselves as to which surgery
they will have. You also have to decide how committed you
will be to making this surgery a success. I had no
complications when I had this surgery. I still have problems
With throwing-up. But I really consider this a blessing.
you have to decide for yourself.
Avis Gandy
— Avis G.
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