Question:
Has anybody experienced extreme fear of the surgery?
I am still in the process of trying to get approved for the RNY surgery. I am sure that I want the surgery but I am so terrifed sometimes that I almost hope I am denied. I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter and a husband and I am afraid that something will happen to me. I have also had dreams where I am about to undergo the surgery and I panic and want to scream that I don't want to do it anymore. Then after I wake up, I'm diappointed with myself and feel more uneasy about the surgery. I just want to know if anyone else had these same feelings before their surgery or if anyone is having these feelings before the surgery. — Sillyguts (posted on September 8, 2007)
September 8, 2007
Dear Angie, I am also waiting for my surgery. I am much older than you
are. I would suggest that you discuss your feelings with a professional
who you trust. If you are a believer, perhaps your minister or priest
could help you. Perhaps you are afraid because you know this will mean a
lifetime change that you are somewhat afraid to commit to. Who knows? I'm
only a social worker - not a psychologist. Sometimes we hide behind our
weight issues because we are afraid to face the reasons we are obese.
These are all things to consider before you know you are ready for this
huge lifetime change. For me, at 61, if I can add some productive years
and have a healthy lifestyle - it will be so worth it. But, I was 54
before I knew who I was and that is something that you need to know to be
successful. God bless you and may your fears be removed as you move
forward in your life. cgarber
— Caroline Garber
September 8, 2007
SWEETIE I HAD A MAJOR PANIC ATTACK ON THE TABLE AND TOLD THE NURSE I
CHANGED MY MIND AND REMOVED MY IV...AFTER TALKING WITH THE NURSE AND
ANESTIOLOGIST AND MY BROTHER WHO EASED ALL MY FEARS I WAS CALMED AND
PROCEEDED, SO I FEEL WHERE U ARE COMING FROM...I WANTED IT SO BAD THAT WHEN
TIME CAME I WAS TERRIFIED, BUT I AM SO HAPPY I DIDN'T CHICKEN OUT CUZ I
LOVE MY BAND...GO TO THE SUPPORT MEETINGS AND DISCUSS YOUR FEARS...U WILL
FEEL SO MUCH BETTER TO LISTEN TO OTHERS THAT HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES AND
THEY ARE SO UNDERSTANDING...GOOD LUCK!
— MZ DEAN
September 8, 2007
Angie, as long as you have faith in your surgeon and also feel deserving of
a better, more active life, you are doing the right thing for your health
and for your family, too. You are young and this wil change your whole
life. I am scheduled for surgery September 17 and I experience fear, too,
because change is uncomfortable and we know this isn't the easy way out but
it is a way of life.. But I am much older, 62, and have developed health
problems as a result of my being about 80 pounds overweight most of my
life. Do this for you and face that fear! If you have truly deep
unresolved questions you must take them up now with your team of doctors
and local support group! Good luck and know that you aren't the only
nervous person!
— [Deactivated Member]
September 8, 2007
Angie, you are not alone there. I was beyond terrified because a man had
just died from complications of the surgery in the next town over from me.
So I was going back and forth over and over about having it done. 222
pounds lighter today because I opted to have the surgery, I would not
change anything for the world. I would do it all over again. How this
surgery changes your life is nothing short of incredible. I am sure you
will be fine. Best Wishes on your journey. Mickey.........
— MCraig3
September 8, 2007
I worked for 16 months to get surgery and finally have a date scheduled for
next month. There are moments that I'm suddenly just filled with TERROR.
To the point where I almost start crying and want to call and cancel
everything. But I know this is the only thing that will allow me to live
the life I want so I calm myself down and remind myself that I'm doing what
I need to do.
It's a huge, life-altering decision. I think if we weren't afraid at
times, we'd be denying the real ramifications of the surgery.
— dorkyfatgrrrl
September 8, 2007
Angie, as mentioned by all the others, I too, was scared to death but
decided to just let it go and let God take this one over. God knew all
about me and how unhealthy I was. I can honestly say that living life the
way I was before the surgery was very scary for me too. I worried about
death all the time. I couln't breath - couldn't walk very far because my
back felt like it would break plus I had just been diagnosed with pulmonary
edema, not to mention borderline diabetes. What kind of quality of life was
I living. How long would my organs, sturcture, and emotional well being be
able to withstand the extra 200 pounds I was carrying around? Would I have
a heart attack and then who in the world could care for a 300 pound person
if I lived through it? Was I happy? "NO" Was I able to do
things every other person I know could do? "NO" Was I tired of
just existing? "YES" Once I let it go and just told God to do
His will, a peace came over me and I just relaxed and when I woke up after
the surgery I knew God had big plans for the 2nd half of my life. I had
my surgery on 8/20/07 and I have lost 24 pounds. Even with this loss so
far, I already feel better. Good luck on your decision, but try not to let
fear rule your decision. You might give a shout to God and ask Him to help
you through this!
— BonnieP
September 8, 2007
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have my first
appointment with the surgeon on Monday. The things that I am thinking are
just not my normal, usual happy thoughts. I believe knowing that the
surgery is "voluntary" puts us more into a tailspin then if it
were a non-voluntary surgery. I know I want this more than anything. My
psychologist suggested that I mention my anxiety disorder to the surgeon
and they will give me "extra" meds pre and post-op to get me over
the hump. My thoughts are with you. Deb
— dthomp
September 8, 2007
Angie, we've all been through it. You will run all of the emotions by the
time you get to your surgery date - the day of - the whole gamate again and
then after surgery you will run through all of the emotions again. It's an
emotional roller coaster ride - but...let me stress....it was all worth it
(for me). There were days I was scared out of my mind. Days I was excited.
Anxious. Stressed out. Happy. You name it. There were even days I was
depressed and days that I was over the top with joy. It's major surgery -
and elective at that. Although your doc and surgery play a role in the
approval process, the bottom line is you have to say "yes" - it's
elective. It's so normal to feel this way. I think now that you know you
are not crazy and just like everyone else, the dreams will subside. Think
positive, take one day at a time and revel in the process - it's an
adventure - enjoy it. It's over before you know it and you are back to
living life normally and doing so many things you never did before or doing
so many things you used to do and can't now - you get so busy after
recovery that it seems like years since I've had surgery - and it's only
been just over 6 months. It's crazy. Enjoy the ride. Don't worry so much.
Take one day at a time and keep your eye on the end result. A whole new,
healthier you.
— jammerz
September 9, 2007
My doctor told me I would die an earlier death with obesity than by having
the surgery. There are so many health risks, more than having the surgery.
My aunt was obese, got breast cancer and then had a stroke and was
bedridden the rest of her life. I knew I didn't want that if I could help
it.
I also believe we have an appointed time to die and if that was when I had
surgery, so be it. I also have a great faith in God and knew if I didn't
make it on this side of life I would wake up in heaven with my parents.
I have never been sorry. I could not believe that a surgery that drastic
didn't hurt any more than it did. I had hardly no pain with an open rny.
The main place it hurt was the drainage tube in my incision.
— geneswife
September 9, 2007
Have you heard the saying been there and one that? :) Well, I was you 2
years ago..I was still crying when they wheeeld me to the operating
room...Fell asleep immediatly an woke up to a whole new beginning! It's
been wonderful and I have absolutley NO REGRETS :)
HAVE A BLESSED JOURNEY!
Sherrie
— Sherrier
September 9, 2007
Wow u sound like me. I am married and have four kids 5,8,15,19 3 boys 1
girl. I went throw this daily and when I got the appoval I had seconds
thoughts. On Sept 4th I got mine done. It was so funny because I waited
untill 330 pm to get my done there were so many times I just wanted to get
up and leave. Even On the OR table I was about ready to say no but thats
all I remeber. I woke up and it was over. I am glad I went and did it but I
do miss food and I still hurt. You hAVE to look at it this way. Are you
health? Can u do for your child like all other moms can do for theres? Can
u live with being fat? If you said yes to all of these then don't do it but
it u gave a no to any then u really need to do it for u and ur family.
truest me my children have suffored and thats why i did this. hope i was
help.
— aluvzu2
September 9, 2007
Hi Angie. I can understand your fears...I haven't even been scheduled for
WLS yet and I have contemplated that there is always a risk of death with
surgery. But then I realized this: I'm absolutely guaranteed a premature
death and a decreased quality of life if I stay obese. That made my
decision to go for it much easier. Good luck.
— NMlakerFan
September 9, 2007
I agree with the above posters and jus want to add one suggestion. Talk to
your surgeon and ask him/her to give you something for the few days before
surgery (xanax?) to calm your nerves. You can even request something to to
be given to you IV while you are in the presurgy waiting area. Good luck
and hang in there.
— tazthewiz23
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