Question:
Do most people go through a period of self doubt.
I am scheduled for surgery on September 24th. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. I am 5'7" and 363lbs. If nothing else, I need to do this for my life. But now that things are under way, I'm starting to second guess myself. Can I do this? Will I look horrible afterwards? I'm selfpay so follow up plastic surgery may not happen. I thought I would be so confident because I wanted it so bad, but now the joy and relief I thought I would feel is gone. HELP! Thanks for and support you can give me. Rhonda — dragontears (posted on September 16, 2007)
September 15, 2007
What you are experiencing is very normal. We all go through it. You need
to think of the alternatives if you do not go through with it...what will
your quality of life be? How much more weight will you gain? Will your
eating habits change? Will your health get worse?? You should be going to
support groups now and speak to people who are months and years post op.
Ask them if they'd do it again. Loose skin issues are a problem. Much of
it can be combatted through exercise. Think seriously about hiring a
personal trainer once it's safe to exercise. In the meantime, now and
after surgery, start to get your body in the best physical shape you can.
This helped me tremendously. If you can start walking on a treadmill or an
elliptical and gradually increase your speed. Use handweights a few times
a week. Start cutting your portions now to get used to what it will be
like post op. The results are so worth it, I am sure you will be happy if
you do go through with it!
— Sheri A.
September 16, 2007
I too am waiting for surgery. I am weigh about 50lbs less than you do,
however I too think about the excess skin. My more immediate concern is my
current health. I have many - if not most of the co-morbity problems and
just want to become healthy. I think you should do as Rhonda has suggested.
Going to support meetings and starting to exercise now will help. Positive
attitude knowing you will become healthy should be foremost in your mind. I
hope you have suppostive family and friends. Best of luck.
Jane
— NanaJane
September 16, 2007
Hey Rhonda! My surgery is scheduled for the end of October and I
frequently start freaking out over the same issues. I weigh over 500
pounds and I still occasionally wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
Everyone I've talked to has said they went through the same thing...it's
normal. This is a huge life changing decision. Just know that it's normal
and try to focus on why you're having it done. I made a list of all my
health and mobility problems and look at it when I start freaking out. It's
just a reminder that, if I don't have surgery, that's what my life will
continue being. And I can't have that. Good luck!
— dorkyfatgrrrl
September 16, 2007
I think we all go through the same thing. We start questioning our
decision. It's like the bride always gets jittery befor the wedding. I have
never been so thrilled that I went through with it. I look better and feel
better. What's to get nervous about?i
— bderuiter
September 16, 2007
COMPLETELY normal. I thought the same thing, but things are going awesome
and my 6th month post op is coming up on the 26th. Hang in there and try
to relax and revel in the fact that your life will change dramatically
after surgery! Good luck and God Bless!
— crystalsno
September 16, 2007
Are you having open RNY or laparoscopic? If the latter, you will have 6
tiny scars which will fade over time. I don't even think about mine. I am
just so incredibly happy that I had the surgery. Never before in my life
have I felt so positive about the future. I'm only 6 weeks post op but I
have already lost quite a bit of weight (I don't weigh myself very often
and won't know exactly how much I've lost til I go in for a follow up appt.
on Tues.) I understand your hesitation but you will be excited once you get
to the hospital. You won't feel anything and will wake up knowing that the
surgery is over and you will be so happy. I wanted to dance and sing.
Sure, there are some difficulties to overcome just like after any surgery.
But your life will change for the good forever. Just imagine how happy
that will make you feel. Make a list of the good things: i.e. being
healthy, looking good, feeling great, being able to fit into regular
clothes and a list of what you can expect your life to be like if you don't
go through with the surgery. Then concentrate on the good side list. You
will do fine. I know it. Be strong and have the courage to change your
life once and for all. Best wishes.
— cherub13
September 16, 2007
Rhonda you are the same height and weight I was (5'7" & 368lbs for
me). I had the RNY procedure on May 29th of this year. I have lost 78lbs to
date. When I walk with no pain in my knees and I can breathe so much
better, I know I did the right thing. You are absolutely right about doing
it for your life. I no longer have high blood pressure, high cholesterol
and I no longer snore! It is amazing how much better you feel after a
while. My only issues is that my clothes don't fit anymore. I began to
doubt as I got closer to my surgery too. It is normal. Hang in there, you
have alot of support. You should go to the support group meetings. You are
not alone. I am glad you reached out.
— BarettaGal
September 16, 2007
OK-I hate when people who have lost less than 100 pounds tell others that
you excess skin issues "can be combatted through exercise"!!!!!
That is NOT TRUE. I was told by the gastric bypass surgeon and the plastic
surgeon, and both told me that there is no amount of excersise to improve
loose skin on a body that has stretched so far!! I lost 216 pounds and I
was 23 years old when I had the surgery! I had "young" skin, and
believe me it was HORRIBLE! I had to take out a $20,000 loan to have it
removed. Please don't go into this surgery lightly--your body will change
drastically. Yes your health will be better because of weight loss, but
you may have mental issues with the skin ( I always thought I was still FAT
and was embarrassed by the excess skin! ). My husband on the other hand
lives with his skin and said he would never have it removed because of how
hard plastic surgery is on your body--it is way worse than the bypass
itself. Just be prepared to deal with all the issues that come with having
gastric bypass--it is not an easy answer or fix. If you want you can chat
with me personally for more information. I will always be honest!
— GAYLE CARMACK-LYONS
September 17, 2007
Having the gastric bypass was the BEST thing I could have done for myself.
I went from 299 down to 120 pounds, total loss of 179. I had a lower body
lift and breast lift 4 weeks ago. Very tough surgery compared to gp. I'm
still home recuperating. I've had some issues with anemia as well as a few
infections on the incision sites of the lower body lift. My doctor had had
to do minor surgery to remove the infection. It was a setback, but I'm
dealing with it. My husband has been wonderful with my recuperation. He has
had to play nurse for me. If I didn't have him there 24/7, I would need a
home health care nurse to help out still. My BODY looks AWESOME though. My
dr did a great job, I too had to take out a loan for my plastics. It will
be worth it in the end. Before my plastics I looked in the mirror and still
saw a fat person due to the excess skin hanging, it was gross. Now, I look
in the mirror and see a skinny person. After having the WLS, I don't feel
the journey is over until you get rid of the excess skin. at least for me
it was that way.
I'm now a size 4 pant/ size small shirt- Was a size 28 pant and a 4X shirt.
I've come a long way. I reached my Dr's goal of 140 pounds on my 1 year
anniversary of surgery. I had lost 159 pounds. I still continued to lose
after hitting goal. I lost about 5-7 pounds from the lower body lift(they
couldn't weigh the skin cuz they had to keep it sterile cuz I donated the
skin)
Hope this helps.
By the way, I'm off of insulin, blood pressure, cholesterol, acid reflux
meds and lowered my thyroid meds in half, AMAZING!! Not only am I healthy
now, but I look GREAT, what a bonus. The energy level is also amazing.
Good luck and you won't regret this!!!!!
— thevikster
September 17, 2007
I understand your hesitation to having the surgery, I had them too even the
morning of my surgery. I'm almost 1 year postop and I'm doing pretty good.
I lost 110 pounds which was my goal. For so long I enjoyed how I felt and
the compliments that came with it. I'm now struggling with the excess skin
issue. I had a breast reduction and lift last October and I'm very happy
with it. I now need a tummy tuck and I don't have the money right now to
do that but I am planning to. I look at the plastic surgery as a follow up
to the WLS. As others have said I look in the mirror and still feel fat
but my health was the most important issue and that has improved. I do
have problems with ulcers that I have to take medication for but other than
that I had not 1 problem and I still eat healthy and have maintained my
weight loss. I wish you luck and please know you are making a decision to
improve your health first and foremost.
— [Deactivated Member]
September 17, 2007
From 5'8 350lbs to 5'8 150s in about 20-22 months I would do it again in a
heartbeat. I had adhesions at 14 mos and would do that again. Success is in
little and big steps. From the first time my butt didn't touch the sides of
certain chairs to climbing several flights of stairs without needing oxygen
at the top lol.
— tazthewiz23
September 17, 2007
Even though I could use plastic surgery and can't afford it, i am glad i
had the surgery. i fell much better and can do so much more!
— Novashannon
September 17, 2007
Yes, this is very normal. I too was self-pay and was worried about how i
would look. But what is most important is how you will feel! You are
going to feel great! I also was afraid of it not working for me, afraid of
failing yet again and having spent all this money for "nothing".
It's very scary. I discovered that I am thankful EVERY day that I did
this, I look just fine, sure my tummy could use a tuck, but, I can live
with it, or maybe even save up for one if it get's really bad. But more
importantly is how I FEEL. I can walk up and down stairs, even jog a
little with the dog and wear clothes that look great! I feel better inside
and out and have a lot more confidence than I ever thought possible.
— Debra R.
September 17, 2007
I definitely went through it. I am 5'10 and weighed 374 lbs at my surgery.
I knew it was something I needed to do and I wanted it and knew it would
better my life in so many ways. It's normal to get the jitters and doubts
because, like me, you've probably hidden behind your body for a long time
and taken comfort, joy, pain, etc. all in food. Now that will change and
you will free yourself from the control that food has over you! Of course
you won't look horrible afterwards! I felt the same way and I can tell you
that I am almost 9 months post-op and have lost 165 lbs and feel AMAZING...
look AMAZING and can do soooo many things I couldn't before. People look me
in the eye, they listen to what I say. My life has changed in so many ways
I never even considered. Yes, I have some saggy skin (I'm only 30) but hey,
It's not like I was going to wear a bikini before, right? :) I know a girl
who is 3 years post-op and yesterday my other friend described her as
"the runway -model -looking girl at your house the other day"...
little does she know that when my friend lifts her shirt you wouldn't
believe what her tummy looks like! (not that I have any room to talk) but
my point is you can cover up, suck in with spandex, whatever you have to do
if you need to. Main point: you will be so much HEALTHIER that it won't
even matter. I laughingly swing my extra arm skin and call it my "bat
flap". It doesn't bother me because I can cover it up. Congrats to
you, by the way, and don't worry too much about what CAN happen and stay
focused on the positives of what WILL happen! :) Best wishes!!!
374/210/170 Aaryn
— airbear762000
September 17, 2007
Hi Rhonda,
Yesterday, Sept 17, was my five year post op date.
At 5'7" and 353, I was almost exactly where you are.
I lost 185 pounds, and have gained 20 back in 5 years.
Would I do it again, and again, and again??? A thousand times, YES, YES,
YES.
Think of where you would be if you didn't have it done...
I know for myself, I would have been even higher than 353 by now, probably
with many serious health issues.
Instead, I am healthy, a very young 57, recently remarried to an awesome
man! Active, and looking forward to 30 more years of rewarding life.
God is good. Don't let your current worries, apprhensions, or doubts keep
you from looking forward to where you will indeed be in five years.
God bless you in your journey my friend and email me anytime if you like at
[email protected]
I know it would have helped me a lot to have folks four or five years out
to converse with. I hope to be that for anyone who needs.....
— joanned1998
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