Question:
I am 6 1/2 months post op and down about 165 lbs. People are telling me how good I
am looking and some even say I'm looking too skinny. Yet I still think of myself as obese. Any tips or advice on how to overcome this? — Randy W. (posted on November 9, 2004)
November 9, 2004
I wish I could help you on this one. Even though I'm in the
"normal" range of BMI I think I still look fat. I keep revising
my goal weight. I'm still losing (slowly) and I have a HUGE fear that I'm
going to gain the weight back.
— SJP
November 9, 2004
First, don't let people mess with your mind. If you have a goal weight in
mind, go for it. I have the same problem. When I was at my heaviest they
would tell me you need to lose weight! Now that I'm down to 140 lbs they
tell me I'm to skinny! People I haven't seen in some time don't know its
me until they hear my voice. When I look in the mirror I look like the
same person but smaller. If it bothers you, please see someone. This is
the part of the process that Doctors do not talk about. The emotional
issues that we must overcome. Why do you think diets don't work. The food
part of diets are good but they don't deal with the emotional issues that
made us fat in the first place. The emotional demons are what will push us
back to gaining unless we get them under control! Good luck.
— Linda R.
November 9, 2004
Can't help you much either. I am 120 lbs and I can't accept it. I went for
my ps consult (full tt on 12/17) and he said I don't have ANY extra fat at
all.. everything is just skin. It seems like fat to me! I think of it this
way: I have looked at myself a certain way for 31 yrs. How can that be
overcome in a few months? It takes time! Good luck!
— SarahC
November 10, 2004
I agree with Linda dont let people mess with your mind. I was told
yesterday by a few people not to lose another pound --I'm still 60+lbs from
goal. I feel great but would still like to lose more. Your choice your
goal with the help of your surgeon's office and go from there. If you need
help emotionally go to a counselor. Best wishes
— debmi
November 10, 2004
didnt mean to sound so abrupt with the counseling stuff...what I meant was
dont be afraid or feel bad if you have to seek counseling. I did during my
first year as a postop and it helped so much. I had so many issues from
being an obese child (150+kindergardener)I was able to learn a lot of
coping skills and I am still losing. Again Best wishes!
Deb
— debmi
November 10, 2004
Hi there,
Here's my opinion on the subject. I am 1 year post-op and have lost 140
lbs. When I look in the mirror, or see a new picture of me, I really have a
hard time realizing that it IS me! I have been fat since the 2nd grade, now
all of a sudden, there's this new me. Very bizarre! I have recently started
seeing someone and she doesn't quite get it either. She's a month out from
her surgery and I can only try to explain to her how hard it really is.
This is a good topic to bring up at your support groups, or one-on-one with
a counselor or therapist. This is one of those "side benefits, that
wasn't in the brochure.
I wish you good luck in this very difficult part of your journey.
All the best,
Robert Mastrianna
— Robert Mastrianna
November 12, 2004
Randy, Everyone has to figure out what weight they are comfortable at.
According to your profile you are a 34.4 BMI which to most would mean you
probably do want to lose some more yet. Men lose very fast and I think
seeing that huge a transforation in only 6+ months is shocking people.
Work with your doctor and yourself to figure this out. I'm sure you also
are having a hard time adjusting because it has happened so fast. While it
is wonderful it is a HUGE change we need to absorb. Some people always
have a hard time seeing themselves as they truly are now - normal sized.
I've actually always had the opposite problem. I did not see myself as
large as I was but when I would see pics I was like who's the Goodyear
Blimp. I wear a size 12 in misses and maybe a 10 after the healing from
the PS I had 2 days ago finishes and I hung in the 190's before this
surgery. For a woman that is considered on the higher side. I'm 5'9 and
carry my weight very evenly, even before the doc hacked off all the excess
skin. I have huge knee bones and that factors into how thin I want to be.
I have found a place where I am comfortable with how I look. I look
healthy, I can buy clothes anywhere, and I feel at home in my body and
that's most important to me. I am smaller now than I have been since
around age 10. I would suggest talking with a counselor or minister or a
close friend to sort through some of this. It is a whirlwind time in your
life and you don't want the mental you to start playing all kinds of
negative games with you. You have done awesome. If you want to slow the
loss down for a little and catch your breath, then do it. I also lost
quite fast for a female and found that I have struggled a lot trying to
find that maintenance life. I never slowed down to the 1-2 lbs a months.
I have pretty much stopped losing since starting PS at 12-3/4 months PO but
it's because I made the conscious choice to do so, but unfortunately it's
been with less than desirable choices because I did not want to keep
losing. I don't want to end up looking like someone who has traded SMO for
anorexia. This is my mental piece that I need to work on. We all have
issues to work through! Good luck and keep up the hard work.
— zoedogcbr
Click Here to Return