Question:
Am I being too vain and concerned about the little stuff?
I will be going in for a body lift in september, and everything is going well I am prepped and everything. But then the *vain* fear of how the scar would look afterwards crept in and made me wonder. I had the same question before my open rny but felt I could handle it because the weight was too much to bare. Thanks to some injections its flat and you cant even notice it. However the body lift will be a continuous scar all the way around the waist, and I was wondering what would my significant *other* think when I drop my clothes and theres a huge scar all the way around my body like a belt! I was even thinking I could get some of that non-wash off make up to cover it up...but began to think am I too consumed with how I should look and what should be acceptable to others and not to myself?Every since I was heavy I have been overly concerned about my appearance in clothes and naked. Now that my appearance is perfect with clothes on, the skin that hangs and sags on my thighs/stomach/butt when I'm naked has become a concern...not to mention the rashes and back pain.I just wanted to get some feedback from other wls surgery patients who have or have had this fear and what they did to compensate or get over it. — Miko P. (posted on August 23, 2003)
August 23, 2003
I'm just 6 months out and have lost 90 pounds as of August 11th. I only
weigh on the 11th of every month. I'm 20 pounds to goal. I know I have far
less weight to loose than you already have, but I would think you and only
you can make this decision on a body lift. I'm sure, if I had weighed
80-100 pounds more .... I know I would want to have it, but that is me.
Funny, how we think of these things afterwards, but never think how we must
look or have looked with clothes off before the surgery and being 100-200
pounds overweight...I know being obese is different than sagging skin
afterwards, but it's only "You" that you have to please, before
anyone else. You knew you wanted this surgery to get you healthy again and
it will be you that will want/not want body lift. Do this for yourself.
Make your decision based on this and not what others think or like. Good
Luck in whatever you choose. You have already been blessed, by having this
surgery and loosing 180 pounds! Congratulations!!!
Lap RNY....2/11/03....250/160/140
— Hazel S.
August 23, 2003
I understand how you feel. I don't see anything wrong with being a little
vain, (of course that might not mean much comeing from someone that's a
little vain herself, lol,) as long at it doesn't get in the way of living
your life fully. I myself take pride in my appearance, even as a fat
chick. Believe me if it weren't for the comorbidities, I might not have
even bothered with the surgery. I am just as concerned with my body
appearance as I am withloosing the weight, I can deal with the scars,
because I have to, I tend to develope keliods and its not a pretty sight.
I'm thinking about camouflaging my scars with tatoos. Just kidding.
Honestly what I think about how a significant other is going to see me is,
he better take the good with the bad, as I'm doing this for my well being.
Wear your scars proudly girlfriend and if you decide to use that cover up
make up, so what, do you wear face make up, same thing to me. I even went
on ebay to see how much they were selling the body cover makeup for, there
were some pretty good deals.
— Rosa F.
August 23, 2003
What's the alternative - live with the hanging skin? That has to look
worse than any kind of scar. In time the scar will fade. Consider it your
battle scar - your battle with weight and it represents that you won that
battle. Anyone who is truly worth being intimate with will accept you as
you are and know how hard you worked to have a new healthy life. Cut away
and be proud of what you have accomplished.
— zoedogcbr
August 23, 2003
Boy - can I relate to how you feel. I chose to have my RNY done lap,
primarily because I couldn't handle the thought of the scar you get with it
done open. Now I'm having an abdominoplasty next month, and I've also
struggled with the thought of the scar. In my case, I've decided the scar
is the lesser of two evils. Everyone can still see my fat tummy - even with
clothes. The only people who will see my scar will be those I choose to be
intimate with, as even a bathing suit will hide it. My thinking on this is
- if they're turned off by the scar, imagine how turned off they'd be by
the hanging skin! And if they're so shallow as to be turned off by the
scar, then I highly doubt they would be the kind of people I would want to
be intimate with. I never took pre-op photos before by RNY. I have enough
memories of what I looked like and how I felt, and had no need for
reminders. However, I am planning on taking photos before the plastic
surgery (thank God for digital cameras), so that if I ever find myself
obsessing over the scar, I will look at those pictures to remind myself of
what the alternative was. I don't consider myself vain, but I did remark to
someone recently that this upcoming surgery is probably the most selfish
thing I have even done in my life, as it benefits absolutely no one but me.
But it also hurts no one - and there's nothing wrong with doing something
for yourself once in a while. I deserve the right to not be ashamed of my
body - and I've waited almost 46 years for that right. Good luck. I hope
everything turns out the way you want it to.
— Cyndie K.
August 25, 2003
I just had my batwings cut off almost 2 months ago. The scars look like
someone tried to whack my arms off!! However, after having my tt last year
and see the red scar for a few months, it's now a fine white scar (which
thank god I'm the pastiest of white girls so it really doesn't show!!). I
figure this time next year, the scars under the armpits will be the same
way. It's a waiting game. I can wait. I've waited all my life to look
this good so a few more months isn't going to hurt me!!
— Patty H.
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