Question:
Deaths in family--should I proceed???
The past few months have been horrendous--two deaths in my immediate family, a move, and job loss (LOVED my job!). My surgery date is coming up, and I've waited ten months for a date (only one bariatric surgeon in my whole state). If I reschedule, I'm looking at another long wait. However, I don't feel emotionally "up to it" to have such a drastic thing done at this specific time. I'm torn--I really, really want surgery, but my emotions and mental health right now are not exactly in the best shape. I'm grieving, depressed, tired--its tough to just get through the day. Maybe the surgery will make me feel better--or maybe I'll feel even worse, and that scares me. Any thoughts?? Thanks! — [Anonymous] (posted on January 10, 2001)
January 10, 2001
I feel you need more time. You can get another surgery date. I was told
that the first 6 months to a year is the best time to lose the excess
weight. If you aren't ready to give it your all, I would wait.
— [Anonymous]
January 10, 2001
I understand how you feel. I lost my brother 2 months before my surgery. I
asked myself what he would have done if things were reversed. I know he
would have said go for your health.and what makes you happy. I miss him
every day.I am 2weeks post-op and have lost 30 lbs. I'm glad I went ahead
with my plans. It was hard for other family members to understand why I did
not wait. I just did't want them to loose me while they were busy grieving
for another. I hope you can find Peace. I will pray for you.
— Karen F.
January 10, 2001
Follow your own heart. You are the only person on earth who knows how you
feel. You didn't say who the members of your family were and your
certainly don't have to. This is one call only you can make. It seems as
though you are feeling a sense of pressure to make a very serious decision
while "grieving, depressed, tired". How soon is your surgery
date? How able are members of your family to provide support to you -
emotionally and perhaps physically? Do you have other support systems in
place to help you? What do you think waiting will do for you? Or
proceeding as planned? Ultimately you are the only person who can decide?
Take as much time as you need to heal in whatever way you see fit. Bless
you.
— jeff P.
January 10, 2001
Hi:
I do not have an answer for you on your question but I just wanted to let
you know that you have mysympathy. I too am at the point of being overly
tired and semi-depressed. If I had amajor surgery coming up - I do not
think I could musted enough enthusiasm to go thru with it. So just take a
moment and weigh your options and youwill eventually do what is best for
YOU.
— anitawilson
January 10, 2001
Hi:
I do not have an answer for you on your question but I just wanted to let
you know that you have mysympathy. I too am at the point of being overly
tired and semi-depressed. If I had amajor surgery coming up - I do not
think I could musted enough enthusiasm to go thru with it. So just take a
moment and weigh your options and youwill eventually do what is best for
YOU.
— anitawilson
January 10, 2001
I have herd that you really need to be mentally prepared for this surgery.
If you feel you aren't then maybe you should postpone. But i do feel if
your health is at great risk and thatis why you need this surgery then
please don't put it off. Your loved ones that have passed on would want you
to be healthy.
— Patti K.
January 11, 2001
My sincere condolences to you on the loss of your family members. Please
read my profile. The surgery truly saved my life - not only from
comorbidities, but from myself. I do recommend you see a psychiatrist
whether one is required for your insurance approval or not. Their
professional assessment is extremely important, because surgery changes
your whole life - forever. I would do it over again in a heartbeat. I
thank God and my surgeon for a second chance at life.
— [Deactivated Member]
January 11, 2001
Oh Dear! You just spelled out a number of MAJOR life stressors and I'm sure
any competent surgeon would advise you to wait before you add another on
top of it. You need healing time. Best wishes!
— Cindy H.
January 11, 2001
My original date was 10/3/00. My grandmother was killed in an accident on
9/26/00. I cancelled my surgery because I knew I was emotionally unable to
deal with it. I rescheduled and had my surgery 12/18. I know I was able
to deal with it because I gave myself some time to mourn. I am still
mourning but I knew that my grandmother supported my decision for surgery
so that helped. When you have the surgery you need to be able to
concentrate on you, and on healing. You don't need a lot of stress or
emotional upheaval in your life. The surgery is stressful enough.
— mbanks
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