Question:
9 weeks out - getting depressed...
Hello all, I have been dreading and dreading posting a message about this but I can't take it any longer, I need some feedback from those that have "been there done that". I have done it anonymously because I feel like such a failure, I know thats a cowards approach but right now that is how I feel. My beginning weight was 341, I am 5'3 and had an open rny with about 2 feet of intestine bypassed. By the end of my hospital stay 5 days later, I was 348, when I went to my 1 week check up, I had a loss of those 8 pds I gained of fluids and another 13. I then went to a pcp visit 3 weeks later, and was at 321. Now at 9 weeks out I fluctuate betteen 305 and 310 on my quacky home scales. That would be an approximate loss not including the fluids in hospital gain, a loss of 31 to 36 pds. At 2 months post op with me being in the 300 pound range, I just thought I would lose more in those first two months. Now I am worried that I will not even come close to a healthy weight during this 6 month "honey moon" period. As far as what am I doing...well I am admittably not getting in all the water. I drink spring water, or crystal light but am only getting between 16 and 32 ounzes of it. I always feel so full when I drink water and on I tend to experience some discomfort too. I take all my vitamins faithfully. I get anywhere between 40 to 65 grams of protein through shakes etc. and I consume anywhere between 300 to 800 in calories a day. I avoid carbs, I don't eat fatty foods. I can't and don't try to tolerate sugars. I primarily eat protein foods first and then on to other things later if I need it, which I generally don't. As far as exercise is concerned, I should be doing much more. I was doing a walking tape every other day but since my slow loss, I have been disappointed and depressed. I know I should be the opposite and work harder. There are others that had their surgery on the same day as myself or near by that are not eating appropriately, not exercising, not doing their water, protein, and vitamins and they are by far surpassing me in their weight loss (same surgeon as well). I know I shouldn't compare and we all lose at different rates, I know I need to exercise more, and I know I need to get more water in. So are those my problems? Is part of this really mental strength resulting in better weight loss? I am really in a depressed state about this but try so hard to make sure I put on a happy face for others. Any advice would be welcome. It would be especially nice to hear from those that were about my same weight and height, that lost slowly. I know I have never lost 31-36 pds before on any other diet in 2 months, but I still feel like a failure. Perhaps it is that old mentality and fear of failing at every diet I have ever tried. I am so scared that I am going to be the ONE that fails at this drastic surgery that I wanted so badly. I have read all the other posts in the plateaus sections but really needed to just get my frustrations and disappointment out. Thank You for listening... — anon Y. (posted on December 20, 2002)
December 19, 2002
I understand where your coming from. I am in your shoes as well. I had
open RNY on 10/28 and have lost between 27 and 30 pounds. Not as much as I
would like. I keep telling myself that it has to work eventually, because
there is no way that you can eat what I am eating and NOT lose! I am using
my Tony Little Gazelle every night and am trying to drink protein shakes, I
get between 50 and 60 oz of water a day. I keep thinking that it will kick
in so to speak! Good Luck and Happy Holidays!
— Sugarbaker2001
December 19, 2002
Please, DON'T despair!! You will be fine! I am 5'2" tall (short?)
and starting weight was 283.6. After two months, I had lost 39 pounds.
Now, at 11 months post-op, I've lost 92 pounds. There are MANY people that
had their surgery around my date that have lost A LOT more than me. And
some have had their surgery AFTER me and have lost A LOT more than me too.
It can be very depressing. I see a psychologist for the depression, and
take Effexor 225 mg per day for it. It helps TREMENDOUSLY! I also take
Xanax .50 mg if needed for anxiety (especially at functions with a lot of
food I can't eat!). I was also depressed that I was going to FAIL and be
the one to not lose the weight. I now weigh 185 lbs (on my scale, and on
my scale, have lost 92 lbs). I never thought I'd see 185 again! But, it's
still not enough. I hope to lose 100 by my one year anniversary (1/31/03).
As for the water, you will build UP how much you can drink, and it is VERY
IMPORTANT. The more you try, the more you'll be able to take in. Exercise
- still don't like it, but I try to do at least 1-2 miles walking 5 days
per week. I take 2 days off from exercise. I try to have the mentality
"just do it". I also try to make it that if 6:30 at night comes
and I haven't walked, I jump on the treadmill then. This routine really
helps me stay with it. I wish you luck, and please, you are NOT alone!!
My prayers are with you!
— [Deactivated Member]
December 19, 2002
I think you are doing fine. Everybody loses at their own rate. A couple of
things to think about: Are you taking measurements? Sometimes you lose
inches while the pounds stay the same. How often do you eat? You need to
try to keep your body out of starvation mode. I usually ate about 800
calories average for a day. To accomplish this you have to eat every 2-3
hours. That's good for your metabolism, too: Keeps it stoked throughout the
day. Are you taking your "big 3" supplements? Calcium citrate,
multivit w/IRON, and B12 are essential for you to stay healthy and feel
good. Are you staying active? You don't have to turn into Arnold
Schwarzenneger, but just walking or any kind of activity you enjoy will
help keep your metabolism up and your depression at bay.<p>A certain
amount of depression is common post op. I went thru it, too. But if it
lasts for more than a couple of weeks you may want to see a dr about it
just to be on the safe side. Depression tends to make you unable to see the
light at the end of the tunnel. It makes you feel like it doesn't matter
what I do today because I will fail anyway and then, surprise surprise, you
fail because you didn't take care of yourself. It is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. If you see yourself getting into that cycle please get some help.
You don't have to deal with it alone!<p>Best of luck to you. I think
a little time will help you. But that doesn't mean it is easy to wait.
— ctyst
December 19, 2002
You are doing fine! And you are doing everything right. Just up your
fluids. A lot of the fat leaves our body through urine. If you are not
peeing a lot it has no place to go. I know water is tough right now. Try
making your self some herbal teas with splenda. I was able to drink that
easier in the beginning. Also you can get in some additional fluids
through fruit. I used to eat a lot of watermelon and clementines.
— Linda A.
December 20, 2002
PLEASE know--and I mean this with everything in me--that you ARE DOING
FINE! I was a slow loser too and spent the first two months practically
losing NOTHING...but then, after about 9 weeks..10 weeks...it started
happening. I'm not losing at some lightening speed, but I am losing. I can
even look at photos from 4 weeks ago and I can see the difference. Be kind
to yourself.......and just do what you can do UP your protein and UP UP UP
your water. I know it's tough to swallow all that water, but your body
NEEDS it in order to process things and heal........CHIN UP! THIS WILL
WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— Karen K.
December 20, 2002
I think I see where your anxiety is coming from. You know you're doing all
the right things, but you're afraid, because you're a "slower
looser" that you will run out of time before you get to your personal
goal. Am I close to the target? I noticed you're time frame for your
"honeymoon period" was 6 months...it's actually quite longer than
that for the "easy" weight loss...and you can continue to loose
on beyond that period by doing the common sense things you are doing to
loose weight...take in less energy than you are burning. I fretted over the
same thing early on...I am now 17 months post op and still loosing. Yes the
rapid ("easy") losing is done with...it's a snails pace now...but
I'm doing the right things so it's happening for me. I am 5'2.5 and started
at 282...I now weigh 140 and would like to get to 125 (because I'm a
shortie) I am actually at a healthy weight now, have met my dr.s goal..but
have chosen to work this tool!! I take advantage of my smaller appetite and
do the healthy diet/exercise thing...and it's paying off. It will happen
for you...just don't stress about the time frame. Best wishes. -Kim open
RNY 7/17/01 -142
— KimBo36
December 20, 2002
First off, repeat after me.."I am NOT a failure". Make that your
daily mantra. You have to stop the comparisons or you will go nuts and
stay depressed. As someone else said, I have seen others that weighed more
than me, have their surgery after mine, and are now at goal or below goal.
If I let that depress me everytime I read another post where someone
accomplished that, I'd stay permanently depressed and consider myself a
failure too. From what you have said, you are doing everything right.
Just work to try to get in more fluids (carry that water bottle around with
you at all times) and start exercising-walking is great. You will continue
to lose steadily AT YOUR OWN PACE well beyond the 6 months. Your window is
actually more like 18 months, though it does slow down between 6 months and
a year for most. It is supposed to! We could not continue to lose 20+
pounds a month, live on 300 calories a day and survive. If you find that
you cannot get past the depression, go see your doc to get some medication.
Your hormones are in high gear now as your body releases the fat, so many
go thru depression at about your stage. Hang in there-you are doing well.
— Cindy R.
December 20, 2002
Give the scales a rest! Stay off of them for at least 2 or 3 weeks. Start
measuring weekly. You will be so surprised. You will lose inches and
never move an ounce, but it will happen, later down the road. I am
MRS.SLOW LOSER, I know where you are coming from. I had the problem with
the water later on post op, but solved it by taking sips only,frequently.
Keep a bottle of water by you at all times. Take it with you to the store.
Put it beside the bed. Take it to work. It will come together. Most of
us think we aren't losing fast enough, but we are all unique. We are all
heading toward a healthier goal, some of us fast, some of us slow. The
advantage of losing slow, is that the skin seems to keep up with the
weight. At least it does for a while, (I'm almost 4 months post-op: so far
so good.) Keep your chin up!
— NitaE
December 20, 2002
I have two things to tell you. ONE: Your body knows what to do. Dont worry
about the numbers. Its WILL work if you are not sabatoging yourself. So
please dont beat yourself up
TWO: DEPRESSION post op is normal. Get your labs/blood work done to make
sure a deffiency is not contributing to it. Then chec with your doc to see
if an antidepressant may help. I got hit with a 3 month post op depression.
VERY VERY Normal!!!!
One last thing... Im a counselor and I recommend therapy to anyone. It will
never hurt!
Good luck & God Bless!
Kelly R
— k r.
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