Question:
I'm at my drs. goal weight for my height, but I've gotten really depressed lately....
I find myself actually MISSING what it was like to be a fresh post op. I miss the days of dropping weight without any work and the wonderful comments I got as I was getting smaller. I secretly wish I could go back 18 months ago to the day of my surgery and "re-live" the whole thing. I feel like I didn't enjoy the whole journey, I was just anxious to get to my goal weight and now that I'm here, I want to go back! Am I crazy? Does anyone else feel this way? What can I do? I'd like to lose ten more pounds so I can just have that "high" of losing weight again. thanks everyone. :( — michelle T. (posted on September 5, 2003)
September 5, 2003
Michelle, I have not totally experienced what you talk about but I can
imagine feeling that way. I've lost very fast for being a SMO and it is so
weird to think that I could be at my goal weight by 1 year. I have 80 lbs
to go and a little less than 5 months, so it is possible. Or to even get
within 25 lbs or so. If I make it I will have lost 242 lbs in a year. You
are right, that you are so focused on doing things right and making
progress and then suddenly some day you are at maintenance and then what do
you do. I really ran into this when I lost 200 lbs about 9 years ago. My
whole life was dieting and exercise. How low fat could I eat, how many
miles could I bike, how many miles could I walk on the treadill, how many
hours in a week of exercise could I do etc. etc. Then all of the sudden I
was at a reasonable weight and I didn't know how to stop things or slow it
down. I had no balance to the whole process. It is strange. While I do
not want my whole life to be about WLS it's hard for it not to be while you
are losing and working on getting to goal.
<p>My suggestion is to get into some counseling. I'm not saying you
are crazy or anything like that. I just find it helpful to get another
perspective on things and my counselor also helps me to figure out what the
real issue are and find ways to work on them. It certainly would not hurt
and might be what you need to refocus on something new. To find that
balance that hasn't been there. I am more balanced this time than the last
time, but I still need to be conscious of some of the things I do. I even
find that at times my support of many pre and post-ops can drain me a
little too much. It keeps me focused but also gives me an excuse not to
find other things in my life. It's strange how our brains work at times,
but please don't let it get the best of you and get into some counseling.
I really think it will help! it certainly has for me over the last 9
years. I would never have wanted to go down this WLS path without my
depression under excellent control and my counselor ready willing and able
to help me when my mind decides to play head games with me.
— zoedogcbr
September 5, 2003
Michelle, I wonder if thinking about turning back the clock to the weight
loss phase is a way of avoiding thinking about whether and how you'll keep
the weight *off*. Maintenance is really hard, and it's a totally different
phase than the weight-loss battle, where the objective is always clear. I
don't know your weight loss history, but mine was full of yo-yo diets. It
always felt great to lose, and awful to regain. I never learned how to
keep it off, or what it was like to be the same size from season to season
(let alone year to year). My biggest fear, from before I even had WLS, was
whether I'd just wind up in yet another spectacular yo-yo experience. When
you're losing, the movement on the scale, and in body size, and in clothing
size, gives a great feeling of accomplishment. But the much harder thing
to achieve is keeping the weight off, and learning what it takes to
maintain at the goal weight (as far as eating habits, exercise habits, and
even emotional stuff goes). For *that*, you don't get the great feedback
you get while losing. It's harder to focus on, too. Yet, it's absolutely
critical to make that transition from weight loss to weight maintenance
(and when I figure out how it's done, I'll let you know, LOL!).<P>If
this is an issue for you, it might explain why you don't want to leave the
weight-loss mode, but obviously, we all have to, or we risk developing
other problems, such as eating disorders. But, around the corner, that
same maintenance issue will still be lurking. Just a thought.
— Suzy C.
September 5, 2003
Hi i think what your experiencing is a let down sort of.
when you are pregnant you wait and work toward making a healthy child,
after the baby is born many woman experience depression, When i went to
college( late 20's) i had to work really hard had two kids and was pregnant
with my third when i graduated. After the baby was born I became super
depressed, Recieved my degree and had a healthy baby my mind was saying
okay now what. That time i did need to get some counseling because it was
interferring with my life. I learned that I need to be working for
something, that is how I am, so when i finish one challenge i find another
one pretty quickly. I always have more than one thing going on in my life
to sort of just to be safe. I am fine ,now but i promise you if I have the
surgery and lose all my weight I to will get down unless i have another
projest to jump into. I hope this helps you. Congratulations on your
weight loss, and if you need to talk feel free to email me. God Bless
— susan B.
September 6, 2003
hiya~ i can relate to your experience. when i got to goal weight, it was
kind of like, "ok now what?" and i too missed the attention of
being a newbie (i agree with likening it to pregnancy). so now you need to
find ways to boost your self esteem without getting pats on the back from
others. being involved in a wls support group is very very beneficial at
this point. you have so much to offer the newbies. you need to take care of
yourself first and i'vd found a great deal of satisfaction by "giving
it away". i also went back to school and i am living my life now, not
like pre op or in the first year or so when my whole world revolved around
my weight. one of the goals of having this surgery is to be
"normal"...and i am now. if you find yourself depressed, then you
may want to seek counseling. the last thing you wnat to do is get into
destructive habits...
good luck,
kate
— jkb
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