Question:
Anyone been jealous of those who....
start their jounery the same time as you and end up having surgery while you're still jumping through hoops? I know I shouldn't feel like this. And generally I am always happy and praising God when someone finally has this surgery...as I know we all have a lot to deal with and I sympathize with their jounrey. But every now and then I just find myself saying "why did they get their's and not me?" It took me two years to convince my husband that this surgery was a good idea...took another year to get an insurance company that would cover it. I had my first appointment in January with my PCP and yes, its only going on May and most people are still way behind me...but I just have waited so long. Anyone else feel this way or am I the only horrible person? — Renee B. (posted on April 25, 2003)
April 25, 2003
Renee, I had some of the same feelings as you. I found a handfull of
people via this sites whom I started conversing with. We were all within
two weeks of each other in terms of consults, sending documents to
insruance companies for approval etc. In fact my one good friend had her
insurance request sent in 2 weeks before mine. I was TOTALLY jealous!
Funny thing was that I was approved 2 weeks before her. Well anyway we all
got approved around the same time, but I choose to delay my surgery until
after the school semester. So hear I sit, they have all had their
surgeries, and I am still 3 weeks away. Am I jealous of them, no, it more
that I envy them. However I know waiting was the best decision for me.
Just remember that when you have your surgery, there are many others out
there who are waiting, just like you were.
— jmusser
April 25, 2003
You're HORRIBLE! Just kidding, of course you're not horrible!!! It took me
2.5 years from asking my doctor for a referral, to getting the surgery. It
was a looooong wait, and I was jealous of everyone that went before me.
It's a normal reaction. But, pretty soon you'll be a post-op and all of
this waiting will be a distant memory. Hang in there, you'll make it!
— Diana L.
April 25, 2003
My best friend and I started this "journey" together back in June
of 2002. She had her surgery two months before I did and it's hard for me
because she's obviously lost more weight than I have and is wearing smaller
sizes. She gets all the compliments on her weight loss, and no one has
even noticed the 50+ pounds I've lost. So I know where you're coming from.
I still go through the "if only my husband's employer hadn't changed
insurance providers" and "if only my psychologist had submitted
his report earlier" and on and on. But I really am happy for her,
and deep down I know one day soon I'll be seeing even better results than I
already have (surgery 3/10/03 and feeling pretty good). You will have your
day and you'll do great. Just hang in there for a little longer. -- Jeana
— Jeana B.
April 25, 2003
I know how you're feeling. I had four friends who had the surgery before
me. I thought about it for two years (while they were losing all the
pounds and getting all the compliments). Then, I was told I'd have to wait
9 months to attend a seminar before I could even see a surgeon. When I
actually decided to have the surgery, however, what had taken my frineds
MANY months of fighting with their insurance companies took me only a
couple of months and I didn't even have to appeal. I was miraculously able
to have my seminar date accelerated, and I attend the seminar several
months before I was scheduled. The surgery was actually done a couple
months before I had even originally been scheduled for the seminar. I say
all of that to tell you that the MOST important thing that I've learned
from all of this, is that timing is in GOD's hand's not ours. When I look
back on everything that had to be just right and every door he opened or
closed for me to even have the surgery, I am awestruck by how everything
worked together. I know it is so hard to wait, but just remember, you'll
look back soon enough and you'll be the one giving the pep talk to someone
else. My whole experience with the WLS has deepend my faith in God like I
could never have imagined. Many times I asked why? or why not? or how
come? and almost gave up at one point, but good thing I wasn't in charge
and he was...just see my profile. Feel free to email me whenever you need
some encouragement!
— lezawomack
April 26, 2003
You are not a horrible person; you are just a human being dealing with
anxiety but remember to be anxious for nothing, but wait on the victory!
While I have not had a problem with jealousy...(unless feeling slightly
annoyed when post-ops who weigh 120lbs complain that they gained 3 lbs
count...LOL...just joking, I know I will be there one day and I love you
post-ops for your support and this website is truly a blessing)
Back to my point...I too have asked God when it will my turn come. I even
got upset and asked Him when I would finally be approved in tears and with
an attitude...In turn, His response has been to prick and prune me until I
learn the virtue of patience. Remember, long-suffering (patience)is a
product and fruit of the spirit. God is in control. He knows your heart. He
knows what is best for you. He will NEVER FAIL YOU. He will give you the
desire of your heart according to His riches and glory, in His own time and
in His own way. Remember the faithful and patient inherit the promises of
God (Hebrew 6:12) and one of God's promises is that whatever you ask for in
prayer, believing, you will receive (Matt 21:22). I'm not trying to through
scripture at you, I'm just hoping to give you something to standfirm on.
The word of God stands firm in Heaven. He will remain faithful to you, even
when you are not to Him. HE WILL NEVER FAIL YOU. Meaning that He will not
withold His promise from you. As for jealousy, recognize it for what it is.
A device of the enemy to get you down, be resentful, bitter, and depressed.
That is why we are to be anxious for nothing, but wait on the victory that
is ours through Christ Jesus. Stand firm on the Word. Have faith. Learn
patience (that why it is referring to as long-suffering) and wait on the
Lord. Then, not only will you have your surgery sooner than you think, but
it will be uneventful and successful. Keep us posted on your progress. Good
Luck and keep the faith!! All things worth receiving require endurance.
Keep your focus and perservere!
— Shayla527
April 29, 2003
Renee..you are definitely NOT alone. When I first started my journey it
was May 2002. I was gung-ho, joined support groups, etc. After I found
out I was going to have to wait two years due to the local groups wait time
I quit everything. I felt like "why me?". I got new wind in my
sails when I found my lawyers and they really got the ball rolling for me.
I look back now and thank God that I had all that time to research and
learn. Now being post op I have had an uneventful surgery and uneventful
recovery. All in HIS time, not in ours. =) Blessings!!
— Kim D.
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