Question:
Do you tell co-workers you are having WLS and if not what do you say?
I've been having to take off for various dr. appointments while preparing for WLS and of course will be taking off several weeks for surgery when it happens. My current plan is to not tell co-workers what type of surgery because I don't want to hear all of the negatives they'll come up with. But...what about after the surgery when weight loss starts happening? What have others said/done? I don't want to just say I'm having my gall bladder out and then have them speculating if I had WLS. Thanks, Margy — MargyB (posted on June 17, 2001)
June 17, 2001
Are you afraid of hearing all the negatives about the surgery or the
negatives about you personally for having the surgery? What is your fear
if they speculate about the type of surgery you had? There are lots of
people who will be supportive and understanding. There are also people who
will label you a weak, lazy, etc. The question is...how much does it
matter to you what others have to say? Hopefully not too much because
people will talk no matter which approach you decide to take, whether you
are forthcoming with information or not. If YOU are comfortable with
yourself and your decision you'll be better prepared for the negative
feedback you get from others. Good Luck.
— Amy W.
June 17, 2001
I have lost at least one friend and co-worker over this desision. She had
never walked in my shoes I am real sensative and let it bother me at
first,but if she was truley my friend like so many others. that are
supporting my desicion. I also am a terrible lier. and always share my
experiences with others. You might even help some one else out of the
WEIGHT RUTT, good luck Dee
— Dee D.
June 17, 2001
This one is kind of a "foot stomper" for me. I chose NOT to tell
my co-workers. I am not ashamed of having surgery, nor do I give a diddly
damn what people think or gossip about. For me, it is an issue of PRIVACY.
It is simply none of their business. I have lost 106 pounds and people
are definitely noticing. Most just say something kind like "You look
great" or "You seem to be feeling so much better than you used
to". If this is the case, I simply say thank you. Some have said
"have you lost alot of weight" ... I say yes, thank you for
noticing. Some have asked me if I am ill and I thank them for their
concern, tell them I am healthier than I have been in years, and that I am
losing weight on purpose. If people press for details, I tell them as
politely as I can that I don't want to discuss it. In most cases, that is
sufficient. To those truly ill-mannered and persistently nosy people, I
tell them it is none of their damned business. People who have known me
for a long time have seen me lose large amounts of weight several times,
only to regain more, and then lose it again. I am a typical former yo-yo
dieter. I assume they think this is just the latest in a never ending
series of futile weight loss attempts. In any case, I will leave you with
a final word of advice: if you have even the slightest doubts about
telling someone, DON'T. You can always change your mind and tell them
later, but if you regret telling them .... it is impossible to
"untell" them once the cat is out of the bag. You will have
enough to deal with on this wonderful roller coaster ride of WLS, without
putting up with the negativity and ignorance of others ... give yourself a
break! Good luck!
— Lynn T.
June 17, 2001
Margy - I do understand your situation, as I find myself in the same.
Here's what I'm doing: I have been casually mentioning that my doctor said
I need to get into better shape (true). I also mention that I am
exercising every day (also true). So, there's a small bit of foreshadowing
when I begin to lose weight. Since I'm going to be out for three weeks
(moving to Kansas), people think I'm going to be on vacation. (Spa?? Just
moving burns up calories.) My boss and my best male friend at work know
I'm having gallbladder surgery (true). My best girlfriend and best gay man
friend at work know the whole truth. I figure it's really no one's
business. People judge. And, while I don't give a d*mn about what they
say, I am in management and I would just prefer they focus their energy
somewhere else than on my prviate body issues...know what I mean. Most
people don't even know enough about WLS for it to be their first thought!!
My girlfriend told her husband I was doing this and he said "She's
doing WHAT???" He'd never heard such a thing! He's no dummy....he has
quite a bit of formal education...it's just out of his sphere. So, I'm not
too concerned about other people. My experience in this life suggests that
most people are more interested in THEMSELVES than in me!! LOL Good luck
to everyone.
— blee01
June 17, 2001
Margy--those people at your work have nothing better to do than gossip (I
know, I worked with Margy for almost 20 years). Tell them you're having
half your brain removed so you'll be at their level and it affected your
weight. Love,
— sandieguy
June 18, 2001
DOn't tell if you don't have to. I told my boss and a few of what I
thought were a few friends. Well now all 70 people in my department know
what I did and watch me everytime I go near the cafeteria. Last week we
had a "fat day" where everyone brought in something to eat for
our team meeting. While my whole team is sitting around the table feeding
their faces my manager loudly says, 'Poor Tracy can't have any of this
great food, don't we feel bad". I wanted to die.
— Tracy C.
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