Question:
How can I explain that I know what I'm doing?
I went home for Thanksgiving and had a hard time with my family. They support me 100% but every time I turned around, got a drink, or went to eat at least one person if not more said "Dont eat too much" "Don't make yourself sick" "Be Careful" or something to that effect. I'm a little over 2 months post-op Open RNY and know how I'm supposed to be eating. I eat 6x a day which is what my surgeon has told me to do, I eat mostly protein which is what my surgeon told me to do. How do you explain that this is for real and this time you are going to do it? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. — Rebekah A. (posted on December 3, 2002)
December 3, 2002
LOL Vicki! That thought has crossed my mind a few times. <p>
I would say something along the lines of "Thank you for your concern.
I'm under my physician's care." But since I know what a pain my
family can be, it might not come out quite that diplomatically. ;o)
— Jennifer A.
December 3, 2002
Okay, everyone else is lots nicer than me, I guess! I, being the sarcastic
soul that I am, would probably say something along the lines of "Heck,
no, I plan on eating everything on the table so I can go hang over the
toilet and puke my toenails up.................I enjoy it SO MUCH!"
Seriously, I know it has to be hard but just be like a duck and let it roll
off your back. YOU know you are doing what you are supposed to! Good
luck! Carolyn 5 mo post lap rny and 18# from goal!
— Carolyn I.
December 3, 2002
Aren't they cute when they try to help? At least they do it because they
love you! My family & friends kept trying to protect me, too. I
finally learned to just smile warmly (I mean, they love me, right?) and say
THANK YOU! And go ahead & do what I had to do. I still have people
trying to help me with my supplements and food choices, even after 8 yrs.
They mean well. (they drive me NUTS!) People will say, "Oh, but you
can't have this (thing with fat)" Instead of my standard
I-don't-avoid-fats-I-avoid-sugars answer, I just thank them for their
concern. Unless I'm having a bad day, then I say, "I can't?!?! Is it
illegal?" As long as I live, "they" will always think they
know "better", even though they can see that whatever wacky thing
I am doing is working (just fine, thank you). Human nature.
— vitalady
December 3, 2002
My family did just the opposite over Thanksgiving. My mom followed me
arround telling me to eat more. Everyone is used to seeing me down two or
three plates, and can't figure out the one small plate. Now they are
worried that I am not going to stop losing weight. I keep telling them
that my body will stop losing when I get to a healthy weight but they don't
believe me.
— Linda A.
December 3, 2002
Sadly, I think a lot of us just need to let that kind of stuff go in one
ear and out the other. I have a family member that thinks she is the expert
of any medical issue on the planet, so she is very "helpful" with
advice. Everytime she makes a helpful comment I just say, "Thanks. I
am doing great!" and then give myself a point. Then when I get 10
points I get to buy myself a treat, like a new skirt in a size I could
never wear before or a good book. Make your own reward system and it is a
nice distraction!
It would be fun to tell these people off, but what would be the point in
all the hurt feelings. We are all typically the kind of people who would
end up feeling all the guilt about it anyway!
Good Luck! (and by now you probably get to have at least one new outfit
from EBay!)
-Shelli (8 months post op RNY, -95 pounds... 40 to go! ;)
— kultgirl
December 4, 2002
I love Shelli's comment. Wonderful advice! Definitely nodding and smiling
works the best. They're just trying to help - even when they're being a
royal pain in the arse...Took me years to learn to do that with my mom and
my MIL. They offered advice and I used to combat it. Then I figured what
the heck...smile, say thanks and go on about my business. Everyone was
much happier!
— [Deactivated Member]
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