How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I had heard the media stories... Carnie, Roseanne, etc. I didn't really give it any serious thought. When an old friend from high school (who was about my size) decided to have it, I was opposed. We stayed close though, and one day I had lunch with her and she was a size 12. She seemed to eat a lot more normally than she had at first and she was glowing. Let me tell you - seeing it live and in person opened my mind RIGHT UP! She sent me to her profile on obesityhelp.com (laughing all the way at my hypocrisy). I researched all about the various surgeries, surgeons and insurance situations. It was both fun and scary reading everyone's profile. Some people had flawless surgeries, but about half had complications that scared me. I wish that I had access to data on complication rates for the various types of surgeries, broken down by age, weight and sex of patients. It seemed obvious (to me) to seek the laparoscopic procedure because of scarring and recovery time. However, that limited my surgeon options a lot. Further limitations came when I decided I wanted the duodenal switch instead of RNY. I don't think I would like the lifestyle limitations of RNY, and the DS seems right for me.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I researched my insurance company (Optimum Choice, MAMSI) on this site and was terribly disappointed. Then I read the *very* clearly worded exclusion in my policy for WLS. I realized that I would not be able to have the surgery with my employer's subsidized plan. I started looking at individual plans from another company (Care First BCBS). As of June 19, 2001, I've sent in my application to Care First. Hopefully I'll be approved. Then I'll start the process of bringing some of my "co-morbidities" up with my new PCP through the individual plan. Fortunately, I haven't mentioned my joint pain, my concerns that blood pressure may be rising, or my suspected early GERD symptoms to my current PCP. That means my new plan won't label these as pre-existing. I'll update with status as I go!

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

Chaotic. No one was at the office, so I had to page the doc. He came in and gave me his spiel about the different surgeries. There were various patients wandering in and out (we were sitting in his waiting room), so that was weird. But I got the info I needed, and it was over quickly. Doc is very nice, not nearly as annoying as I had expected, given my impression of surgeons ;)

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

Thank God I'm truly over most of the self-loathing and shame that I lived with and most obese people live with. A relationship with a loving God who has the power to deliver and heal has truly restored joy and contentment back to my life. So I'm not going in to this to try to be beautiful (I already am!) or to get a boyfriend (don't need one!). I realized, however, that if there's a way that I can both be more comfortable and active and prevent future health problems, there's really no good reason why I shouldn't do it! I decided to have the surgery because I want to sit in chairs comfortably, to cross my legs again, to wear the uber-groovy clothes I love, to take the pressure off my joints, to increase the ease with which I move around and to prevent any future problems with CHD, arthritis, gall bladder issues and diabetes. It's all about being free so that there's no hindrance on everything I want to do with my life!

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I'm not completely sure yet, since I haven't been to a surgeon yet. But I'm pretty sure I want laparascopic DS. I watched my dad nearly die of complications from a brutally open surgery... infection/wound not healing, constant bleeding... It made me realize that the human body was simply NOT meant to be cut open. Our skin is our first and *best* defense against death. So the laparoscopic procedure is for me. As for the RNY/DS debate, I was very daunted by the lifestyle changes listed at www.smallscar.com associated with the RNY procedure. No thank you! So I'm leaning toward the DS. That leaves me one surgeon option in my area. While most comments about him on this site are positive, I won't be ready to commit until I meet him and also until I find out the insurance coverage level if I use him(Dr. Elariny).

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I have many fears about complications! I don't want to be throwing up forever. I guess I'm particularly nervous about hernia, blocked GI passages at surgery sites, and having to be out of work for a long time. I don't stockpiles of vacation and sick leave accumulated, so I don't want to be out of commission too long.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

I've decided not to widely broadcast my decision. I have no interest in inviting debate on the issue, particularly with people who have never experienced obesity. After the fact, when I start to lose weight, I may or may not tell people. For now, I've told my mom and my sister. They are both very supportive. Will hold off on telling Dad until the 11th hour (he'll worry himself to death and blab to the relatives). I've also told a few friends about it. Everyone has been very supportive. If/when everything goes through with insurance and I get a surgery date, I will almost certainly tell a few people I'm spiritually close to in order to ask for prayer covering for the surgery and insurance logistics.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I told my employer that I needed to have surgery and that I'd be out 2-3 weeks. I didn't tell the reason for the surgery. When I came back (after 2 weeks, working part-time for that 3rd week, and then back full time the 4th week), people noticed my weird eating habits, and I let on gradually that I'd had "GI surgery" but didn't tell anyone for a while what type. Slowly, over the past 5 months, I've told co-workers depending on my trust level with them. Never did discuss it with my actual supervisor. Obviously it comes up more often now that I'm totally shrinking, and I'm more comfortable talking about it now that it's clear that it has such great benefit and I had no complications.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

It was ok - I mean, I have nothing to compare it to. Obviously, I felt icky, but my mom was there almost the whole two days, and I only had to endure one night. The night was the worst, because the nurses just didn't come when called. They're understaffed (as they are everywhere) and couldn't respond quickly. The hospital was noisy at night with lots of interruptions. I just wanted to sleep the whole time I was in the hospital, and have morphine every 10 mins. The second day, I got up and stood and went to the bathroom and brushed teeth, etc, so it was fine. The hospital's liquid food was fine. Mostly, we just tried to keep the nurses and everyone out as much as possible, closing the door for more privacy. Friends visited and pastor prayed over me. It was ok. The view was lovely, the hospital is small and so my room was on the ground level with windows that could be opened. I was really glad I chose that small dinky hospital rather than the more institutional setting of the more famous teaching hospitals nearby. The only thing you need to bring is a toothbrush. You'll be too out of it to do anything except lay there and sleep. I only stayed one night, and left the evening of the 2nd day, so I was very happy to heal so quickly.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

Nope! My period caused some problems because going off the pill caused it to start. And I had to endure it unmedicated because no more ibuprofen is allowed after the surgery. So that was awful, and led to me taking the post-surgery narcotics for my cramps, which put me out for too long, I didn't eat and had narcotics on an empty stomach. That was the first time I dealt with heinous nausea. The nausea subsided with nausea meds after a day or two and I was a lot better. All because of the damned period!

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I just didn't think about it. If I did I would get afraid and think about what could happen, etc. I went into denial until the day before. That worked for me. If I had researched a lot of things that happen post-op I would have been way more scared. (See below)

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

I hung out at my parents' house and watched a LOT of DirectTV. I made myself walk up and down the block for 10-20 mins (slowly) each day. My mom was an awesome nurse - making me all kinds of liquid foods to keep my spirits up. When the nausea came because of the narcotics, that sucked. I slept all day. But I really only had one bad 24 hours, just dealing with nausea that I'd never experienced so strongly. But I never threw up. I was surprised by how liquidy and oily my bowel movements were, and they stayed that way for months really. I was most surprised by a few things: how different and awful it was to be hungry every 2 hours (wicked, knee-weakening hungry) and have to always have food on hand and always be eating, managing your schedule around having food on hand (because God forbid you get caught with that kind of hunger without food). Also, the bad breath scared the crap out of me. I was afraid it would last forever. My mouth tasted so bad, I could hardly stand to be in my own body, and of course I was paranoid about being around others or being in an enclosed space like a car. Binaca helped briefly, but it was really hard to deal with the breath thing. Car rides were hard, they made me really queasy. Those were the main surprises and annoying things for me.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

10 mins.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

I had liquids the first 5-6 days, soups, jello, etc. Then I had soft foods. I was so hungry, and watching TV so much with all the food commercials made me crave everything, so I was eager to get on normal food. I would just try things, grilled cheese sandwiches, tiny burritos, etc. Everything went down ok, though I could only eat a few bites of anything. I stayed away from crunchy things like chips and veggies for about the first 3 weeks. Then I started eating pretty much whatever I wanted. My body would definitely CRAVE certain things at different points and I would load up on those things, understanding that it was probably what I really needed at that point nutritionally. So I would crave chicken, eggs and cheese when I was needing protein. Later, during months 2 and 3, I was desperate for fruit - couldn't get enough of it. I couldn't tolerate vegetables then very well without getting really gassy later in the day (painfully and loudly so!), so I didn't let myself ever have raw veggies or salad. Now I'm totally over that thank goodness, because I love salad. At about 4 months, I had no food issues whatsoever.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

10-20 min walk a day for the first week. Then about twice a day the second week. After that, I moved home out of my parents' house and went back to work, which was exhausting enough. At about month 2.5-3, I noticed plateaus in the weight loss and decided to join a gym. I went to the gym about 2 times a week. Now I never go, and am trying to incorporate more strength training into my mornings, so that my flabby, droopy skin from the weight loss goes down and my arms, abs and legs get beefed up. But I really don't have time in my life for regular aerobic work-outs, which is horrible, because I'd really like to do that.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

Flinstones for the first month or so - pills were really hard to take at first. Once that got easier though, I started on Target's multi-vitamin for women and that's all I've taken every day.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

Described above: some nausea briefly, no vomiting, a little bit of hair loss, decline in hair quality, but that has stopped. The bad breath and the constant hunger were the worst things for me to deal with. The breath returned to normal after about 6 weeks, and hunger got much more manageable around 3 months.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

None. I would exchange emails with a friend who had the surgery a year ago. She was helpful and supportive, but I had no desire to go to a support group. I went once to one prior to my surgery and hated it, so planned on not returning after the surgery.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

Four small spots across my stomach, and one invisible one in my belly button. It is what I expected. They're barely noticable. Laparascopy is the ONLY way to fly, kids.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

I have 1-2 week plateaus about once a month. They always annoy me, but going to the gym helped get me over the longest one that started about 6 weeks post-op(that one lasted almost a month). Now I know that they'll eventually pass and I try not to let them get to me.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

No. People constantly make comments about my weight loss, but I have not noticed people treating me differently really. I haven't gotten any dates! The largest difference is in my own mind - I used to *perceive* that the only thing people were thinking about me was how fat I was, and I always noticed that I was the fattest person in the room, and I was constantly self-conscious. Now, I don't have those thoughts. I presume that people see me for me, and not just my fat. I actually expected boys to notice me more than they have, heh!