How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

Looking around on the web for options, I found this site one to two years ago. That got me thinking. But, then I found two individuals who work for the same department in City Government that I do who had had the surgery. Both of them had the same surgeon and recommended him above all others. Both also said hands down this was the best decision either of them had ever made. That sort of sold me on it. While researching on the web, there was so much support, it made me feel less like I was taking the "easy" way out.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

Well, my insurance carrier does not cover the procedure. Unequivically!!! Says it's a coverage issue not a medical issue. Really doesn't matter if you have 20 doctors testifying on your behalf. The WILL NOT cover any procedure for weight reduction. So, I switched to another insurance company for 2001. They do cover the procedure with fairly stringent restrictions. According to the woman who handles insurance for my surgeon, though, they are pretty reasonable if you meet the criteria. (Examples: must have BMI of over 50, BMI over 40 for more than three years or with accompanying health problems, or BMI over 35 with life-threatening health problems.)

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

Dr. O'Grady is very professional. He's not a "warm, fuzzy" kind of person, but he is very personable. He has a sense of humor that I greatly appreciate. He's very straight-forward about the risks of this surgery. I'm in relatively good health other than my weight and he made sure on both my pre-op visits that I was well aware that this was elective and that there could be complications - even death as a result. I like that he didn't try to "talk" me into the surgery. You can tell he likes his work, but he's not worried about drumming up patients.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I guess it was looking at how much I'm missing out on. And, how much my daughter is missing out on. She has no brothers, sisters or close cousins/friends to get crazy with. We have a lot of fun, but I'm not able to teach her how to do cartwheels or race with her on bikes or skates and we both miss that. She is a little anxious about the surgery, because I'm very honest with her about the risks. But, she is really looking forward to the changes in our lifestyle. She can't wait til we can go to the water parks and play all day. Or, for me to be able to walk the whole amusement park in a day. There are so many things we are looking forward to.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

My doctor really only does the one procedure - the RnY. So, there wasn't much discussion. But, after all my research on the various types of surgery, I felt this was the way to go.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

These fears almost kept me from having the surgery. I'm not afraid of death itself. I don't want to leave my child without a mother. Her father has a lot of problems of his own, so he's not really a father. Our family is very small - just my parents who are in their late 50's, my sister and my daugther and me. I'm very concerned about having an "elective" surgery that is life-threatening. As far as what to tell other people with the same fears - well, you just have to decide for you. Nobody can or should influence your decision.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

I have some friends who are very supportive, and some who are a little negative about it. My sister, who also has a severe weight problem, doesn't think it's the answer, but she is supportive of my right to decide for myself. My parents have been pretty quiet about it, but that probably has more to do with other recent events than this specific issue. People at work are on both sides of it. Most are very supportive, one is even donating some leave for me since I don't have enough of my own.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

Most of the people I have encountered feel this is my decision and they want me to be healthy and happy. There are some people that have been very negative. One woman in particular keeps harping that I could lose the weight if I was properly motivated (?), whatever that means. Others have sort of been overly supportive - almost like they're tired of looking at me and want me to lose the weight. My supervisor is supportive but is concerned about the risks.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

The nurses were great. I also had the benefit of nursing students on several days. That was really great because they only have one to three patients and since my surgery was pretty unique, it was almost like having a private nurse. During my first stay, I was there ten days. I had to have two surgeries because my surgeon discovered cancer on my appendix and had to open me back up four days after my bypass surgery. I took a lot of stuff that I didn't use the first time. A fan is the best thing to bring. The hospital supplies you with most everything else you'll need. When I went back in for an abscess, I took nothing and didn't miss any of it.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

Yes. In addition to above, I've had a lot of trouble eating certain foods. Some things feel like lead in my stomach. I get pain, nausea, and generally feeling bad from those items. Meat is the worst offender. Also, because of the infection I developed, I had about a three to four week period of serious "discomfort" and nausea and vomiting.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

Most of my anxiety was due to the fact that I was sure something was wrong (the infection) but nothing could be detected.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

Due to having to have two surgeries, the scar extends down from my breast bone to my pubis. It's flat and light purple in some places and hard, wide and dark purple in others. I don't mind it. I certainly couldn't wear anything that exposed my midrift before, and I can't now. No big deal

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes. Everyone is always telling me how great I look and asking how much I've lost. Some of the concern though, has to do with my complications. A lot of people were scared for me and are glad to see me back and healthy.