Carol H.

Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

Very shamed based. I felt extreme shame and worthlessness because I was overweight and then when I tried diet or over ate the feelings were worse when I was not successful. There were times however that I was successful at accepting myself at the weight I was however the physical problems always caused me to try to diet and then I was back into the shame/depression state

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

Not being able to do things because you are so overweight. I remember one day I was running very late for an important meeting and the elevator was broken. I had to run up 3 flights of stairs to get to the meeting I was already late for. By the time I reached the 2 foor I thought I was going to pass out from the effort and my legs actually felt paralyed from the effort. There were other people on the stairs at the time and I was so embarrassed that I couldn't make it. Then I had to wait several minutes before I walked into the meeting because I couldn't breath. But the worse was exploring a mountain with my nephew and not able to even keep up with him. Equally awful is the shame and low self esteem that you feel about yourself. Everything is focused on your weight. For example "she doesn't like me because I am fat" or "I am not accepted as a part of the group becaus I am fat" or "I didn't get this opportunity because I am fat"

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

Getting in and out of the car without effort and pain Not much pain in my knees and my hips Not going to the chiropractor as often so I am saving a lot of money My focus is less on food and more on what is going on around me. I have virtually stopped going out to eat to feed that desire for instant gradification from food because I am too lazy to fix food at home. This has significantly reduced the amount of money I spend on food in my budget. I do go out eat but I enjoy it as an activity not a "reason to satisfy an urge". Climbing a mountian with my nephew again and beating him up the hills!!! My clother too big for me Buying new clothes

How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

As a nurse I had heard about it years ago when Mason(???) surgeries were popular however I was on the post op side taking care of the disasterious results. I swore that if I ever got that fat that I would never have surgery. No matter what!!!

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My stay in the hospital was fine. It was long because I had complications and I lived out of town so Dr Yates kept me 6 days. Don't get "fany" pj's just wear the hospital gowns because yours will get stained with blood!!! Also don't even consider being in the hospital without someone there around the clock from your family. Not just to help you in and out of bed but the emotional support

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

The evening of my surgery that had to go back in and redo alot of it because I was bleeding internal. Dr Yates it was equal to having the surgery twice. It really wiped me for a long time. I had double anesthesia and a larger incision. I managed to get through it but the first month after the surgery I felt like I had mutilated my body just to loss weight and that my decision to do the surgery was wrong. The first month was the only time I ever had negative thoughts about this whole process.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I am extremely lucky that my husband was with me every moment for 3 weeks after surgery. If it wasn't for him I probably would have never made it.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

Dr Yates has followed me closely and I drive to St Louis from Kansas City to see him which is no problem. He also has been proud of my success and asks me to share my success with others which has been important to me. He even sent me a thank you card that he hand wrote himeself!!! Can you imagine a doctor taking the time to do that! I belong to the WLS group that has met here in KC for over a year. I don't like the group leader personally (which is my own problem) but I try to attend regularly because I think it is an important element of my success in losing weight.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

Because I had the surgery "twice" I feel my scar is awful. But I have seen others and they all look really the same. Since I never really want to wear clothing that will expose this area it has been important to me what the scar looks like. Kind of a reminder of what I went through to lose weight.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

I have had a couple but it is usually because I am not exercising on any level or not drinking my water. I do those things and I start losing again.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Just recently have people noticed that I have lost weight but they are hesitant to say because they are worried that they might say "Oh Carol you have lost weight"! then I reply "no not really" A few people haven't even recognized me. Which has been a lot of fun I think my co-workers are envious of my weight loss but are afraid to even consider the surgery because of the complications I had.
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