Judy N.

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Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I was fat in the womb. I used to think that you added a zero to your age to calculate your weight, and it pretty much held to that theory until about the 6th grade when I should have been 19 according to my weight!!! I continued to yo-yo from that point, with the least I weighed being after a serious traffic accident and a month+ on IV's alone. Not a good diet to go on!! I just kept getting bigger and bigger and at some point, I thought, what the heck... I'm fat... I'm otherwise healthy so why worry. I did worry though... or better yet, I stressed over it... and I ate to console myself, to entertain myself, to reward myself and to punish myself. Let's face it... whatever I did, I ate. I hated myself for it but try as I might, the weight would come back on - and I beat myself up again because I just KNEW that it was because I was weak.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

I hate being the fattest person on the plane regardless of where I go. I hate limiting where I go via plane because I hate the stares of fellow travelers in coach when they see me lumber toward them. I hated being the biggest person I saw in Paris or Ireland! I try to tell myself that I DESERVE a pedicure, only because I can't say out loud that I can no longer touch my feet!! I hate fat ankles and rolls of fat that have to be powdered. I hate having to strain to clean myself after using the toilet and wondering if I did a good enough job - will others notice? I hate it that my hands look like dinosaur toes with painted nails at the end. I hate holding my family back because I don't want to be seen, or can't catch my breath, or have to take the elevator (if there is one). I hate that if I keep going the way I am now, I'll be in a wheelchair within 5 years and probably dead in 10. I hate that I look at other overweight women and ask "am I that big?" as if getting an answer of "no" makes my weight seem all right. I hate that I'm not the best role model for my daughters, that my career is limited by the perceptions of others because of my weight, and I hate that I'd rather make the concious choice of accepting death as a potential outcome from this surgery than live longer as I am or lose the weight in a more "sensible" way. But the really worst part about being overweight is all the baggage I've carried so many years that tainted my self image, infected my relationships, and sent the wrong messages about me to others.

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

Today is the 10th anniversary of my surgery and I am thankful every day for my weightloss. I lost a total of 146 lbs and gained back 8. I now hover +/- 2lbs of that weight and have for most of that 10 years. I've learned to live with the changes in lifestyle this has resulted in but am so much happier and healthier! I do have issues with anemia and hair loss, but loading up on biotin and vitamins helps :) I've just recently had my first elective surgery; 4 months post full face/brow lift. I don't look 20 again, but I don't look as old either and that's a good thing. Considering arms, stomach, and thighs next but weighing the pros/cons. I now have 6 grandchildren and love having them around and doing things with them that obese me never could have done. Traveling is a breeze, I'm proud of myself, and as a result I carry myself much more confidently. I would do it all again :) If you'd like to contact me, please do so :)

How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

Years ago I heard about balloons in the stomach, and then rubber banding... and then stapling and then I heard from a woman @ work, about 10 years ago, about her WLS. I thought, "wow.... but that doesn't apply to me... I'm not fat enough!!" Guess what... now I am... and thank God it's a viable choice for long term weight loss.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I didn't have a problem with the insurance company, though I anticipated one from everything I'd heard. I think it really helped that the submission included a letter from my PCP that was supportive and provided a thorough summary of my medical status, complete copies of my medical records for 5 years prior to request for approval, showing weight loss attempts (Optifast, WW, Metabolic, NutriSystem, etc.) and exhaustive testing to rule out metabolic reasons for weight gain. I also included a chronological weight history from my birth to the present date and associated that with weight loss programs, events such as pregnancy, anti-depressent use associated weight gains, pregnancies, etc. That covered 46 years!!! I'd recommend that you do your homework up front and provide anything that you possibly can with your request for approval. I'm not sure if that did the trick for me, but it sure didn't hurt, obviously!

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

My first meeting was very formal. My husband, the surgeon and I discussed my desire for the surgery, a brief history of my trials in the past with weight loss and the Dr. reviewed the surgery that he recommends (open RNY). He explained the procedure, the risks, what I must do beforehand to mitigate the risks (lose weight and exercise) and told me that if he saw a commitment from me (10% weight loss before he would perform surgery) he would schedule me for the surgery. He told me to use 1000 calories per day combined with 1 hour of daily exercise to achieve this. I wasn't perfect but I did manage to get off 18lbs in 1 month so he was very pleased and scheduled me right away. I was able to achieve 22 of the 26 lbs (10%) pre-op.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

Tired of being fat, physically incapable of much, achey... I didn't have a very bright future if I went on the way I was going and wanted to live at least another 40 years doing fun things with my family and friends rather than being a hermit. I was also tired of the way I looked and knew that despite my best efforts, I couldn't keep the weight off on my own.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I did a lot of research and talked with the surgeon. All in all, I believed the overall risks & complications to be smaller with open RNY, the long term weight loss and maintenence to be better (statistically shown) AND I just recently found out that there's a hormone (grehlin?) that increases after extreme weightloss that seems to make it impossible to maintain the weightloss as it increases appetites. It's a little complicated to go into here, but the open RNY seems to bypass the part of the stomach that generates this hormone and levels remain low after the weightloss from this surgery - it enhances the likelihood that the weightloss from this surgery will be as permenant as possible.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

Of course I thought I could die...or there would be complications... but after I got my family over the willies about the whole thing, we all realized that I would be better off in the longrun, their lives would be fuller because of my increased participation and if it all went sour, it would be ok, because at least I wouldn't be so fat and uncomfortable anymore. So, as with everything in my life, I made an informed decision, felt comfortable with my surgeon and his abilities, and vowed to deal with things one day at a time. What more can you do? I was tired of living my life in fear and shame... so I did something about it!

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My family was a little freaked about it each time I talked about it. They of course had heard all the horror stories too. My eldest daughter backed me from day one, though she was not so secretly anxious about the whole thing. My husband took quite a few years to come around but when he finally told me to go for it in January 2003(after another 40lbs) that's when I went after this and voila!, I'm post-op in April!! My younger daughter was really frightened and angered by the whole thing - because she was afraid I would die unnecessarily. She came to see me once in the hospital for 15 minutes. She's much better now that she sees I'm ok and thriving. If I could do it over again, I would have spent more time with her, letting her in on my feelings more... in retrospect, I had done that with my husband and older daughter more...

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

Fortunately, my boss and department head were fully supportive of my decision. They worked with me to arrange a time for me to be out. Because things went well, I am scheduled to return after only 12 work days out.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My hospital stay wasn't like the Ritz but it was very nice overall. I had a private room but there was no place for my husband or daughter to lie down when they stayed with me overnight. I would recommend that whoever is going to stay with the patient bring a cot or beach lounge chair, or twin inflatable mattress to the hospital just in case. The hospital will give you extra pillows, sheets, and blankets. The nursing staff was very competent but the nurses desk "girls" could use a lesson in service. I had my surgery @ 730am on Wednesday April 16 and was discharged around noon on Friday, April 18. The most important things to me were my toothbrush/paste, hairbrush, deodorant, and a can-do attitude. My surgeon told me I did so well in the hospital because I didn't fear the pain. I learned to deal with it and didn't take meds to keep the possibility of pain away - I only took them when I needed to take the edge off.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

not one complication to date, knock on wood.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

Oh gosh... of course I was anxious... I couldn't believe it was actually going to happen. I went through a few restless nights and then decided to keep myself busy putting all my ducks in a row, pre-working all I could, cleaning house, spending good time with my family, and doing all the necessary pre-op things. Before I knew it, I was checking into the hospital the morning of surgery. I didn't have that long to wait though. I had a surgery date before my insurance approved and after my second visit to the surgeon. I don't know how people cope that have to wait longer.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

7 days post-op my scar looks like a red centipede about 9 inches long stretching from just below my breastbone to right above my navel. Got the staples out today!
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