Tammy P.

Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

Hi,Let me begin by saying that my struggle with weight did not really begin until about 16 years ago. I had a son out of wedlock and decided that it would be in his best interest if I placed him for adoption. Please dont think for one moment that I regret the decision that I made those 16 plus years ago,because I dont at all. I have just subconsiously been sabotaging myself off and on ever since. The very strange thing about this war within myself is,if I dont look in the mirror I seem o be happy with who I am. What I mean is, I dont see myself weighing 250 lbs. The truth is I dont really even think of a weight at all that is,until I see a picture of myself or I'm walking down the street in front of some shop windows and catch a glimpse of this really large woman and I think to myself "Oh my God,That cant be me!!! Or I find myself comparing my body shape to other fat women and saying to my husband,"I'm not THAT big am I?. Average! Ordinary! God I really want to be just another face in the crowd.I can't wait till the day when I can walk through the streets without wondering if all these people are laughing or disgusted by the size of my body. Skinny is not an issue,neither is thin. Just average thats all.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

The worst thing about being Fat is the shock and internal disgust that comes with looking at a photograph at yourself and being so deeply ashamed.How and when did THIS happen to me? I'm scared to death that I am going to develop diabetes.It is so prevalent on both of my parents sides of the family.

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

CROSS MY LEGS,SIT ON MY HUSBANDS LAP,PUSH FOOD AWAY,ITS ALL SO GREAT

How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

My Best friend's husband had this surgery about 6 months ago. I kept telling him "Don't do it" "Why are you doing something so drastic?". These of course were my own fears and yes "Jealousy" of him being curageous enough to find the tools he needed to make a Life Altering Descision. My first fear: What if it does'nt work ? I mean afterall nothing else ever has for long. Secondly: Openly admitting that I NEED HELP. I cannot do this alone.I MUST have help in order to save my own LIFE.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I have yet to be approved for this procedure,but am very hopeful that I will hear something soon. Everyone I know just keeps telling me to patient. That my friends is a very difficult task. I want to start my NEW LIFE yesterday!!!!

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I want to be able to do the things that average size people take for granted every day.Things like; Tie my shoes without feeling like all the air is being cut off from my gut. Walk around the block and be able to breath and talk at the same time. Purchase my clothing from somewhere other than HUGE ARE US. Most of all I want to live to be an Old woman with the man I love.Frankly, at this weight my life is cut by at least 20 years.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

My surgeon Dr Scott, only does the LapRny because it is the Best Procedure available. The recovery time is 1/4 the time of the open Rny and much less painful.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I never really had any fear of dying,my fear was of not being in control. If I am to be totally honest My other fears were of shots and possible enemas. Dont ask!!!

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My family was very supportive .My husband was right by my side every moment he was'nt working. My parents(God bless them)came & stayed with my husband & I and took great care of me and fed my husband all those home cooked meals he knew he'd be doing without for some time to come.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

My employer was fine with me being out of work for 3 weeks.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

MY FRIEND AND I ATTEND SUPPORT GROUP SPONSERED BY THE SURGEON I WENT THROUGH ABOUT 1 A MONTH OR MORE IF BUSY SCHEDULES ALLOW.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

THE ONLY SCAR I AM NOT THRILLED WITH IS THE ONE IN THE CENTER OF MY STOMACH JUST BELOW MY RIB CAGE. IT SEEMS TO BE PUFFY AND WHERE THE STAPLES WERE REMOVED THEY SEEM TO BE PUCKED AS WELL.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

I SEEM TO HIT A PLATEAU ABOUT EVERY TWO MONTHS BUT IT ONLY LASTS FOR A WEEK OR SO.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

I SEEM TO GET NOTICED A LITTLE MORE NOW THAN BEFORE
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