How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

A friend of mine decided to go for it, and shared her experiences with me. I was really worried about her - I thought it was an extreme solution - but she did great. She urged me to check into the surgery myself, so I started reading up on it, mostly at this website! I was sure that if I could just find the strength in me to lose the weight one more time, maybe I could fix my "character flaw" that made me gain it back. The report from NIH stating that there's a 98% failure rate of diets for the significantly obese really opened my eyes. I read a quote that stuck with me that sums it up: "If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before."

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

Best advice: go to a well-respected clinic that specializes in these surgeries and that has a dedicated staff who deals with the insurance issues!!! You have NO idea what you're dealing with until you start this process - it's painful and frustrating to have to fight insurance companies alone without a clue - have help on your side! It's an emotional enough decision just to decide to do this without having to justify yourself to a huge bureaucracy. I was denied and had to appeal. AND I had to wait 1 month to find out that I was denied! Although I fit the criteria, I was at the low end of the weight range and didn't have any health issues that posed an imminent threat to me. I had to get letters of support from my primary care dr., my surgeon and my therapist. I also wrote a long letter detailing my life struggle with weight and the emotional and physical toll it was taking on me. That seemed to do the job. It took me almost 3 months to get through the request for surgery and appeal process. My experience is that the insurance companies will deny you if they can and make you work for it - prove that you need it and want it. I was told by my insurance co's customer service dept. that just about everyone gets denied on the first request.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

I came prepared with a lot of questions that I developed from reading about the surgery on websites, reading books, and talking to friends. I had my medical history and a history of weight loss attempts. My surgeon was very pleasant, kind, patient and respectful. He answered all my questions and gave me a packet of info and his email address (which he answers promptly, too!) in case I thought of others. Best advice: do your research up front!

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

The report from NIH stating that there's a 98% failure rate of diets for the significantly obese really opened my eyes. I read a quote that stuck with me that sums it up: "If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before."

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

After reading extensively about the different procedures and discussing them with my surgeon. I chose my surgeon partly because he does the surgery laparoscopically.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I think anyone who isn't a little fearful about getting surgery isn't dealing with reality. However, the death rate for this surgery is very small. I just made sure that I had a good surgeon with an excellent track record, and made sure I fully understood the pros and cons so I was comfortable with my decision and prepared to handle my part post-op. I compared my odds of living a happy and healthy life with and without the surgery.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

They all reacted the same way I did when my friend first told me about this and that she was doing it. They thought it was too extreme a solution; that I wasn't "that big" to have to resort to this; that it was too risky, and that I'd be giving up too much and would regret it. And, since I'd lost the weight so many times before, why didn't I just do that again and "keep focused"? Some are concerned about the long-term effects. I just ask them how many seriously obese people do you see in their 60's, 70's or 80's? I even think some family members (siblings) resented it a little...that somehow I was "getting out the easy way" (!!), or that maybe they would no longer be able to compare themselves to me and come out on top anymore. They were not too supportive before the surgery, and now kind of pretend it never happened, or at least never mention it. My friends are great and so supportive! Everyone is curious about the effects and watch me closely to see how I'm doing.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

My manager and co-workers (that I told) were supportive. I told them frankly what I was doing and why. Personally, I feel that the more people know and understand about this surgery, the more others will be helped through word of mouth. And maybe they'll develop more understanding and compassion for the chronically obese.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My stay was very pleasant, under the circumstances. I was in on a Monday, and out on a Thursday. I had a private room, which is so much nicer! I got good, attentive care. Bring little bottles of your own shampoo and conditioner - That first shower feels great!! Don't bother with a lot of reading material....I LOVE to read, but couldn't concentrate enough to do it due to the pain meds I was on. I'd fall asleep if I even tried to read one page. TV was better for me. Plus you don't have a lot of counter space for stuff. You spend a LOT of time snoozing....

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

None!!!

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I was so excited! I coped with anxiety by over-preparing - cleaning house, shopping, fantasizing about finally being free! I read the journals on this website to see "it's the best thing I've ever done for myself" over and over from others who had been there.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

First couple weeks, I'd get light-headed easily, especially in the afternoon, I think from the low food intake. I fixed that by upping my protein intake and decreasing my carb intake. My energy level wasn't bad considering I was recovering from major surgery. I had relatively little pain after the first 3 days home. HAVE SOMEONE HOME WITH YOU AT LEAST FOR THE FIRST NIGHT HOME. You'll want someone there who will bring you water, pick up the things you drop (you won't be doing much bending over!), help you in and out of chairs, etc. Once I arrived home, I seemed to improve 50% every day over the previous day. DON'T obsess about weighing yourself...relax, it'll happen! You're puffed up from the IV fluids and it'll take a little while for all that to work out of your system.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

2.5 hours one way. The ride home from the hospital left me extremely nauseous and miserable for the rest of the day. Seeing my surgeon is at least a 1/2 day project.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

I could re-introduce regular foods surprisingly quickly - within 4 weeks - as long as I chewed, chewed, chewed! Of course I try to eat the way the dr. recommended - high protein, healthy selections. I was cautious when trying new things - listened to what my body was telling me. Now I'm a better judge on what to expect when eating. I've had a few treats like pizza occasionally as a treat, but I don't make a habit of it....and I can only handle a very small quantity anyway (can eat 3/4 slice of medium at most). I'm careful not to load myself up on "fluff" - bread, salad, etc. - and risk not getting my protein. I initially had problems with water - my stomach ached when I drank it. Also, I had to drink slowly - small sips. And, any time I would eat after going for a long while without eating (like at breakfast), the first few bites were uncomfortable - like food was trying to enter a bag with all the air pressed out of it. I stay away from sugar for the most part. Dumped once...don't want to do it again: light-headed, dizzy, stomach pain, extremely bad abdominal cramps, the kind that make you sweat they hurt so bad, and finally diarrhea. I was a limp rag for the rest of the day. I'm 3 months out now, and can eat just about anything (except sugar), as long as it's well-chewed. Some things don't sit right even when they are chewed well, and you wind up not eating much. And if you forget to chew well something solid, you'll regret it...for about an hour! I've vomited a few times, not many. And every time it was my mistake that caused it. I still will get some discomfort from eating certain foods - but not all the time. When I get and uncomfortable feeling, I stop eating, and I'm done for that meal. "Layering" bites of protein with softer items like mashed potatoes seems to work better than just eating protein alone. Cottage cheese with melon is my favorite breakfast - light, easy to digest, no discomfort, and loaded with protein! I can now drink fluids much easier...didn't think I would ever be able to have a satisfying drink of water again when I'm thirsty! I had to sip slowly for a long time. Now I can take a few swallows at a time, which feels great! The first thing I do before eating anything is get down as much liquids as I can. I can count on feeling really thirsty when I'm just about through eating, and having to wait for a drink can be frustrating if I didn't get fluids in beforehand.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

Walking primarily.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

Flintsones complete chewables. B12 under the tongue.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

Pain from swallowing a bite not chewed well enough ranks right up there with dumping from something too high in carbs. You don't make those mistakes too often, trust me! I cope with the chest pain by not fighting the urge to vomit too long. If something is not sitting right, just get it over with and get rid of it - it's a lot easier to do after the surgery than it ever was before the surgery. And it isn't really nausea for me, just pain. I cope with the dumping by NEVER taking a chance with questionable foods again. You won't volunteer for that feeling too often, I guarantee you!

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

The drive home, and being home alone that day after it, nauseated and completely miserable with no one to help me.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I have an informal one - my friend that had the surgery before me, and some friends I made via this website. I don't attend the support groups.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

I had it laproscopically, so I only have 5 tiny scars on my abdomen. Not worth mentioning, really.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

I've had MANY plateaus. But, since I've been on many, many diets in my life and know from experience that they are inevitable whenever you are losing weight, I don't fret about them too much. Regular exercise would make them much shorter, but I just haven't gotten into the habit yet. My weight loss has slowed down quite a bit now; I don't lose for a couple weeks, then I'll drop 3-4 lbs. It's a good rate of loss, considering where I'm at (10 mos out) and my activity level.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes - before it was like people kind of pretended that they didn't notice me. They often didn't look me in the eye. Common courtesies like holding open doors for me were rare. Now, I'm "one of them" and people deal more directly with me. I'm no longer invisible!