How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

My OBGYN recommended that I see a surgeon after I was diagnosed with PCOS. My initial reaction was horror and rejection - I was not willing to accept the idea that I would need intervention of that magnitude, and I think I cried for months.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

It was a freaking NIGHTMARE. I had Blue Cross Blue Shield in two different states, and I was turned down both times. The second time, I filed a grievance, and they never even responded until SIX MONTHS after their deadline. I had to get intervention through my state to recoup my doctor's bills. After BCBS failed to respond to my grievance, I changed to United Healthcare. My paperwork was submitted on March 12 and I had my surgery date within two-three days.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

My surgeon did a good job with my operation, but he does not listen very well - you can tell that he is on auto-pilot and just assumes that you are a "canned obesity patient" - if that makes sense. Nice enough guy, definitely lacks people skills. You need to know your own insurance, as well, as his staff may tell you that you need all kinds of things that you insurance doesn't actually require. In my case, if I had not called the insurance company myself to get the requirements, I would have spent over $1000 for tests that would not have been covered (such as an IQ test - for bariatric surgery?? Oh please! Can you imagine? "I'm sorry, Ms. Smith, but you are simply too stoopid for a gastric bypass." LOL)

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I was only getting heavier (and older), and I realized that this was not something that I could fix on my own.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I decided against the lap band because of the lack of documentation beyond ten year patient studies, and I knew that I needed a permanent fix. I did not want to risk undergoing surgery for what may be a temporary fix for a permanent problem. I also knew that it is possible to cheat the band, and I didn't want a safety hatch - I was committed and I wanted my surgery to be, too.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I became really frightened about four days before my surgery, and if I had not been so sure that I would never be able to resolve this by myself, then I would have backed out. What would I tell others? It's natural and healthy to be frightened. It helps to compare the odds of dying from surgical complications to the odds of dying from cardio-pulmonary disease, complications from diabetes, stroke, etc. if you DON'T do something.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My husband was afraid that I would get skinny and leave him, but now he seems to be over that. The only one of my relatives that knows that I have had this surgery is my dad. Everyone lives out of state, so it's been pretty easy to just not mention it. I dread telling my little sister about it. While I have always been a big-boned person (really - I was fat and big-boned, but even my skeleton isn't a size fize - LOL), she was always a tiny little thing until she reached her early twenties. She started seriously expanding at the same age that I was when my weight got out of control, and while I grieved over it, she was and still is absolutely devastated. Right now, she is not insured and surgery is out of the question for her. She was recently diagnosed with diabetes, and I am really concerned about her being even more depressed about her own situation (and jealous of mine) than she already is. (sigh)

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

My principal was extremely supportive as his wife's family has issues with obesity and he understands the struggle and pain associated with it. How did I tell him? Very straightforwardly, as in this is what I want to do, this is when I want to do it and why, and this is how long I will be out. Is this going to be a problem? I missed two weeks of work, but I had an extra holiday week in there. In other works, I was down for three weeks, but only missed two weeks of work.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

Other than tearing the stitches loose on my drain, none. I caught it on the cabinet handle and was then able to have it removed a week early. :)

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I was really afraid (irrationally) that the surgery would not work - both before and after I had it. I was also afraid that I would have complications. How did I deal with it? I got a little weepy and tried not to think about it too much other than to make sure that my husband knew where all insurance policies were, bank books, etc.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I have had almost no after care support. My surgeon does have a lady that works for him who is in charge of support and follow-up, but the only time I ever really needed her, she was out of town at the time and didn't call me back until a couple of days after she got back. I have not been told very much by anyone associated with my doc about some of the very common things to expect. I did get some pretty good info from the support lady while I was in the hospital, but once I came home, I was on my own. : (

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

At a little over 100 days out, my scars are visible, and I expected this. I have very fair skin, however, and I've always been lucky in the past with scars just fading away after enough time. I expect these will eventually do the same.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes, I have, as a matter of fact. While I have always been one to smile at other folks (even strangers that I pass in the store), I've noticed that I am getting more smiles in return. Also, I have had a couple of experiences already in which I have been made rather uncomfortable by attention from members of the opposite sex. Nothing serious, really, but I have gotten that icky, squirmy feeling on more than one occassion by guys that I thought were being just a little too friendly.