How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I first found out about the surgery when 20/20 did a segment on the Lap-Band. The show aired here on Friday night. I was so excited I began calling ABC first thing Saturday morning.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

That's hard to say because when I went, I thought I was finding out about the Lap-Band. When the doctor told me I would be ineligible for that particular surgery, it threw me for a loop & I didn't have my questions in mind until after that visit. I think if you can have your homework done prior to the visit & ask all the right questions about their success rate, particularly with people similarly situated, it would make it easier.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I love my daughter. She needs a mom.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I didn't. The doctor did.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

Fear? That's funny. I was living a dying existence. I could barely walk. The sleep apnea caused me to stop breathing many times while I slept. I could barely breathe when I was awake. I couldn't fit behind the wheel of a car anymore. I couldn't clean myself. I was the most unhappy person I had ever known. How could I possibly fear death? I did actually fear the surgery at one point because on the day of surgery, I was told my mother & daughter could be with me right until they wheeled me into the operating room. That turned out to be not the case at the very last minute. I went into hysterics when faced with not being able to say good-bye, fearing I may not come back. I guess the hospital decided I could have anyone I wanted in there just to get me to shut up! They let my mother join me but not my daughter. As far as the complications, I really didn't pay attention to those because the chance was so small. Then I had stomal stenosis several times post-op. That scared me. I couldn't even eat the putrid baby food without it coming back & back & back & causing a lot of pain. My advice there is know the possible side effects. Be prepared. Know what could happen.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

Everyone was very supportive. Everyone had lots of questions, which helped me know more questions to ask. My mother had to support me financially through this time and never once complained. My daughter had to do a lot for me physically and never complained. I can't imagine having to go through this without support from loved ones. I don't know how that could possibly work.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I am self-employed, but the company I work for most often was very supportive. I did not tell them what type of surgery I was having, just that I was having surgery. I was out of work for a few months because of my size and subsequent complications.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

It's a teaching hospital. That guinea pig thing was sometimes bothersome. Of course, my weight is bothersome everywhere I go. Because of it, I had to have a different room. Because of my weight on the toilet in the first room, the toilet broke. Of course, they had problems with it before, but that didn't help my head deal with it. I had to have a bariatric bed and lots of help. I was in the hospital a week. The most important thing to bring was family. I spent a lot of time in pain and with bodily fluids all over me didn't want most people to see me. I made friends with those who had the surgery when I did. Those people, who are going through the same thing, are what you really need. As far as what material items I took, I can't remember. I remember needing socks or slippers most of the time. Make sure you take your CPAP if you have one. Phone numbers are another good thing.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

Yes. Stomal stenosis following the surgery, not during the hospital stay. Several endoscopies. It was very frustrating. Would I do it all again? In a New York minute.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I was excited and just tried working harder because I knew I would be out of commission and had to have some money set aside because I am self-employed. Just keep busy.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

For me, because of my size and the stomal stenosis, there was not a lot of happiness immediately post-surgery. That came a few months later. If you're my size, you should expect to have help there round the clock. Forget humility. If you have stomal stenosis, you should expect to be quite sick.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

About 2-2 1/2 hours south. Yes, the distance has partially affected aftercare.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

This is where I fail. Immediately post-surgery I ate all the right things except the stenosis made it all come back up. After the endoscopies to fix the stenosis, I could eat a bit more. The things that came up most after that were bread and noodles. I have trouble years after the surgery with lots of foods. I can't eat pizza, most bread. I have trouble with lots of meats. I can eat very little ice cream. I used to be addicted to Mountain Dew. Post-surgery I didn't try that stuff. For a very long time I tried no sugar. One day I tried Mountain Dew and haven't stopped eating/drinking what I want. I think part of it is the endoscopies. If I could change two things, it would be to eliminate three or four of the endoscopies and never try sugar. Just always believe, whether true or not, that you will have dumping syndrome.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

Because I weighed almost 500 pounds going into the surgery and had zero activity before the surgery, it was a few months before I could do things. Then I began water walking, which is all my weight would allow, and got up to a couple of miles three to four times a week.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I took the monthly B-12 shots monthly and some Centrum and iron for a long time. As other medical needs changed, those things changed.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

The vomiting because of stomal stenosis was the worst for me. It lasted a few months. I probably had six or seven endoscopies.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

All the depressing things that happen because of the bariatric condition (obesity). When you hide behind the walls of your house, you aren't exposed to them. In the public (hospital), you are exposed to everything humiliating about being obese.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I was involved in the gastric bypass club with monthly meetings at the hospital for a very long time. I haven't been in years. Being obese you feel isolated and alone. The groups are extremely helpful because most of us don't know people around the corner to call when we need a kindred spirit in this regard or someone who understands and knows what we're going through. They're at the meetings.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

Because they had to repair an umbilical hernia as well as a hernia in the Cesarean section scar & remove my gall bladder during my gastric bypass, I have a scar that begins right below my breastbone and continues around the belly button and goes down about three more inches. It's very straight and even except for that curve. Excellent work. Near the top, it has stretched apart over the years.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

Two months after the surgery, I had lost over 100 pounds. Three years after surgery I had gained to the point where I had lost less than 100 since the beginning.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

No. When I had lost all the weight, the person who treated me most differently was me. I was much happier. Simple things made me so happy.