How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

My husband's best friends wife, Tammi, had the surgery back about ten years ago. I didn't know this when I met her six years ago. During my first pregnancy, during which I gained an obscene amount of weight, I was feeling particularly down and Tammi said, "Girl, you think you're fat? Let me show you something" and she proceeded to pull out a photo album and flipped to a picture of a woman I did not recognize. She pointed to the picture and said, "That's me." I didn't believe her, and then she told me all about the surgery. I was very sceptical about having it done myself and didn't even really consider it until this past Christmas when I saw an old friend of mine whom I have know since we were children and who has always been extremely overweight. She had had the surgery done one year prior and she looked fabulous! I couldn't believe it was her. I decided then to find out all I could about this surgery.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I have two small children, ages 4 and 5, and my biggest fear with doing this was that I would have some complication and die leaving them without a mommy. I love my husband more than life itself, but he was older when we started a family (35 on my daughters birthday), and he works so much that while he absolutely adores the children he is not as close to them as he could be. He doesn't partake in the day to day 'routines' that we have and when I leave him alone with them it's royal chaos when I get home, lol. Also while I love both of our families I know that no one loves my children like I do; no one would take care of them the way that I do; no one would bring them up with the same values that I do; and no one would have the same 'rearing' techniques that I do. I don't want my children growing up with someone else, I want them growing up with me! So that was my biggest fear, leaving them 'alone'. But by the same token I realized that the way I was going I was headed straight for doing that anyway, so I finally realized that doing this was the absolute best thing to do! My biggest and best advise to anyone who is scared is: TRUST YOUR DOCTOR!!! If you don't trust your doctor then something is wrong and you should go to someone else! I am having to pay a large portion of my surgery myself because I chose to go outside my insurance company's choice of doctors, but I trusted him and felt comfortable with him, where I did not with the others! To me it was worth it and still is! I couldn't be happier!

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My mom, stepdad, dad, and stepmom were great! They all completely supported my decision from day one! They all immediately went on the internet and found out all they could about the surgery and we often went over things we could do, should do, couldn't do and shouldn't do! They have been a mountain of support! My brother and sisters were okay with it, although I've heard some comments that they've made that made me kind of sad. My grandparents just absolutely hate the fact that I had this done. They think it's a waste. The rest of my family and Mike's have from day one sort of taken that 'roll the eyes when you're not looking' 'what a shame she can't do it on her own' 'it'll never last' sort of attitude. It's very depressing, but I ignore it and go on! I know if I believe in it it will work and last! My mom was a real big help after the surgery. She kept my kids for me, they are very young and love to jump on mommy to give her big loves, and they had a blast spending five weeks with gramma. While it liked to have killed me missing them (it was the first time I'd been away from them for even a day since they were born!) it really was for the best because I ended up with a secondary infection in my incision and well, lets just say it was the best thing. I don't know what I would have done if they'd been around. I think I healed much faster because they were gone. And it made me appreciate their noise and messes, lol! I don't know that I would have communicated anything differently than I did. I think that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you are happy with your decision and you know it's right, then that is all that matters. No one else's opinion of you should ever count. You are the one that has to look at you in the mirror every day. You are the one who has to account for what you put in your body. You are the one who pays for what you do. So you should be the only one that counts!

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

My scar is really great! I know, what a weird thing to say, lol! It starts just under the inside of my right breast and curves out and downward to the left ending about two inches above the level of the navel on the outside of the left breast. It is much better than I expected, especially after getting an infection in it post-op and how ugly it got for a while! It is just one curved line and looks really, really good! I couldn't be more pleased!