Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I think I always knew about bariatric surgery, and I always wanted it. I was always heavy, even as a kid. Not terribly overweight, but never normal, certainly never slender. I never got teased for my weight (acne was a whole nother story), had a group of close friends, was as popular as any average kid in school. I had a BMI of 27 in high school. I was on the swim team. I camped, hiked, canoed ice skated, and biked. In college and grad school it was usual for me to bike 100 miles on the weekend. My family had instilled good eating habits too. No fast or convenience foods, no junk, limited deserts, lots of fruits and vegetable with lean meats (probably a little to generous with the carbohydrates). I knew I was battling genetics. I struggled with body image, but more because of bad skin than obesity. But it was a conscious decision to accept myself and love the body I was given every day. Fast forward twenty years. I had gained a few pounds a year every year, year after year. 160 lbs when I graduated from college. 190 lbs when I went hiking the Alps one summer. Finally, 220 in my late 30's. I didn't want to be overweight starting my 5th decade. I went on a low carbohydrate diet and increased my exercise to swimming an hour a day. Lost 1.5 - 2 lbs a week, as long as I swam laps for an hour a day, kept to 1000 calories a day, and no more than 60 grams of carbohydrate a day. Stalled out at 160. I remember being hungry all the time. Sometimes I would go to bed early, just so I wouldn't feel hungry all evening, knowing I could eat again when I woke up. Maintained my weight for several years, then started gaining again, as I started to eat carbs, and stopped swimming an hour a day (my pool closed). Now looking at my 6th decade, I am back to where I started. My sister and brother had both had roux-en-y by this time and were normal weight or mildly overweight. I don't think I have it in me to work that hard on diet and exercise for mediocre results again. I still have great health, but that is not going to last forever. I am starting to have chronic asthma. I have some mild plantar fascitis and a bunion. Siblings and parents all have type 2 diabetes. My husband loves me like I am, and more than anything wants me to be happy and healthy. So I decided to have surgery, the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I only hope I chose the right proceedure. I don' t want to stall out at a BMI of 29. I want a BMI of 23. I want to be normal weight. I am scheduled for surgery February 21, 2013.>>>>>>>>>>>>>> My surgery went perfectly. I am ten days post op and feel fine. I could have gone back to work sooner but went back on my 5th day post op. I had no significant pain or any nausea or vomiting. I am a little tired of eating liquids however. It is very strange and liberating in a way, never feeling hungry.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I am almost four weeks post op. Still no problems unless I eat to fast or to much. Putting my food for the meal in a Dixie cup first to measure it helps. I also found drinking water with my meal helped with mild indigestion, although the surgeon recommeded not drinking with meals.>>>>>>>>>>> I remember seeing two movies where Natalie Portman ate breakfast. One was "V for Vendetta". She ate a breakfast of one egg cooked inside a slice of toast with a well cut out of the center of the toast to put the egg. The other was "Black Swan" where she ate a breakfast of one boiled egg and half a grapefruit. I felt discouraged about how was I ever going to be able to be slender like Portman, when a breakfast like that would leave me still feeling starved. Now when I have my boiled egg in the morning and don't feel hungry at all, I think here I come Natalie Portman figure!>>>>>>>>>>>>> I am just over six weeks post op and eating regular food. The only problem I have run into is not getting enough water and eating too much or too fast. I really have never been a big drinker and what I did drink was coffee and diet soda. I really have to measure my food. If I eat more than about three ounces I have nausea and salivation and discomfort in my upper abdomen. There is no warning that I am getting full. The same thing can happen if I eat too fast. Vomiting relieves the problem immediately. I throw up just a tiny mouthful, but I guess it was that one mouthfull too much. Drinking water while I eat helps slow me down as well. Luckily, it has only happened about two times. I think I have learned my lesson.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I never feel hungry. What a wonderful gift. I still love food, but it is much easier to control my portions and eating choices when I am not at all hungry. Still loosing about 1% of my body weight per week. Really not exercising however. I have got to get back on that train soon, now that I am OK to swim again.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I am pretty good at keeping track of calories and protien in my head. I have never written down everything I ate, at least not for very long. I don't eat a huge variety of foods or complicated meals, so keeping track in my head is pretty easy and I have had great success loosing this way in the past. However now there is the really neat piece of technology...The Smart Phone... and the My Fitness Pal app. It is actually sort of fun to keep track of my intake on the phone. The app is easy to use. You still have to be honest with your portions and whether you had the 260 calorie French Toast or the 140 calorie French toast, and don't forget to add the butter and syrup!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> A lot of people talk about how surgery is just a tool, how they still have to change their lifestyle and use so much self control in order to loose weight. For me, surgery seems to be much more than just a tool. I take little or no responsibility for my success, it is all the physiologic changes of the surgery. I eat moderately because I am not hungry and my stomach hurts and I will throw up if I eat too much, end of story. I am about as active now as I was before surgery. I need to get back to swimming every day still, but it is not so much for weight loss, but in order to be strong. I love the way if feels when I can lift a forty pound bag of dog food without effort.>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I am over three months post-op and I still cannot tolerate alcohol or carbonated beverages. The surgeon advised no alcohol or soda for 12 weeks, and even though it has been longer than that they still make my stomach hurt. It is not a great loss, simply and observation.>>>>>>>>>>>>> Mid-normal BMI is my goal. In fact it has always been my goal. It has just been pretty elusive my whole life, but that has never made me feel like a failure or feel guilty. I know how hard I have always had to work to loose and maintain my weight. I celebrate every pound I loose. However, I think it is important not to fantasize about that normal BMI weight person and think about all the things you will do, and wear, and accomplish, and how good you will feel once you are a certain weight. Continue to live in the here and now whatever weight you are. Don't wait for your life to begin.>>>>>>>>>>>> Wow, I just read a post entitled "REGRETS...on a wasted life". It was pitifully sad. It really embodies one of the things I was trying to say in my last paragraph here. No matter what your weight is you don't want to REGRET WASTING YOUR LIFE. I have some regrets of course for some of the poor choices I have made and for some of the unlucky choices I have made, but thank goodness, I have no regrets about wasting my life. My life has always been full and active. Every now and then I come across a list I wrote when I was 13 about what I wanted to do in my life. I am surprised how many of the things I have already done, and how many things I have done that I didn't even think I would want to do when I wrote the list at thirteen. >>>>>>>> Again on the subject of not living your life: One poster started a thread called "From Obese to Actor". He stated that "After my weight loss I decided to try and follow a dream of becoming an actor." It almost seemed to imply that being obese precluded being an actor, and we all know lots of great fat actors out there, even in super-skinny loving Hollywood. It also seemed sad that he hadn't pursed his DREAM because of his weight. This really hit home with me since I have been acting on stage in community and collegiate theater for the past 20 years. I don't get just fat-girl roles either. My last role was Chris Gorman in "Rumors". Described in the script as an attractive woman in her 30's, I am sure Neil Simon did not envision an actress with a BMI of 40!

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

Honestly, it really isn't that bad. I just know it is not healthy, and I don't have the athletic body I would like to have.

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

I look forward to running again, and getting that muscle definition right above my knee that I get when I am in really good shape.