Way OT ? to medical types about hychondriac stepdaughter

One of my almost 20-year-old twin stepdaughters, may be a hypochondriac.   Her mom was too, and she seems to derive a sense of satisfaction from alarming everyone with her newest malady.   In the past three years, she's claimed to have had 1) TMJ; 2) Migraines; 3) Multiple cases of pneumonia, strep throat and bronchitis; 4)  Broken bones and more, and it's always communicated to the world via Facebook posts while she is away at college.  At one time, she posted on FB asking to borrow $5 because she had bronchitis and was prescribed an inhaler and couldn't breathe, and had no money to pay for it.    I saw the post, called her local pharmacy to provide my credit card to pay for the script, and they told me "She doesn't have a prescription for an inhaler to fill, she has a prescription for a birth control device!"   Anyway, that's some background.

She called my husband a couple of weeks back and told him that she had to have an EMG, because she was having this strange tingling pain down her neck.    She lives 2.5 hours away while at college.    She apparently had the EMG, and then called and told us the doctor "thinks she has MS" and wants her to have an MRI and bloodwork.     We were stunned, and my husband tends not to believe her, as we've been through all this drama before.  Last year it was a series of CT's for her "crushing migraines" that mysteriously disappeared.    

We asked to speak to her neurologist and asked her to go to him and sign a release form so that we could.    If she is lying, we want to bust her so that we can put an end to her dram.  She claims to have signed the release form, but said "He says he doesn't speak to patients or family members on the phone," but to go ahead and try to call him.

This just doesn't sound right to me.    Is this customary?  I have never encountered an issue with a doctor that has refused to speak to me on the phone.  We want to be able to ask him specifically what has led him to believe that she has MS.   I have a feeling that he told her he wants to "rule out MS," but that once again, she's twisted this around.   We're 2.5 hours away, and it seems senseless to me to make an appointment to see him, just to ask him some questions about her diagnosis, when this might once again be nothing.   He operates out of a very small town, and we also want to see a neurologist at a major medical center, if he indeed has some valid rationale as to why she has MS.   

She is an adult and there's not much you can do unless you still claim her as a dependent and your insurance is covering her.

I feel for you.  My little sister is always dying of some malady related to her asthma.  First it was apergilliosis (saw it on Discovery Health) and now it's some other fungal infection.  She's been on 13 antibiotics in 12 months and nothing works (go figure).  Her mental health is an issue (she's twice the age of your stepdaughter, btw), but there's nothing that can be done until she becomes a danger to herself or others.

Hugs,
Ratkity

She's still on my insurance and I pay extra for her.   We still claim her. 
Her mom's a sad case.....has had type I diabetes (and been cured of it - no less!), has had multiple misscarriages (and my husband never knew about them, just the entire town), almost died of Crohn's at age 19, etc. etc.

Julie, I don't have any advice but I feel your pain!  My step-son (23) is also a hypochondriac, to the point where he knows the schedules of the ER technicians.  Last week he went to the ER for an ingrown toenail.  Seriously...you can't make this stuff up!

Don't want to alarm you, but at the ER in the hospital where I work, people know the schedules of the ER workers because they know who is likely to give out the "good" drugs.  We see a huge increase of "pain" related visits when a certain doctor is on duty.  I really don't think it's just a coincidence that the pain is so bad only when he is on duty.  Then there's the doctor who can clear an ER waiting room by announcing to those waiting, "If you here for pain, I'm writing for ibuprofen." Yep, you can't make this stuff up.

(I am not mocking those who's pain is real.  We have quite a few who make their living by getting pain meds then selling them.  Your tax dollars at work in most cases.)

I agree.  He is a recovering addict, both from heroine and pain pills.  At least at this time he appears to be clean.

Yes, and those are the people that make life difficult for those of us who have real injuries/diseases. I have a documented herniated disc (2 MRI's 5 years apart show that it is worsening) and when I need to go to the ER I get treated like a drug addict.  I used to work at our local hospital, and actually had a person call us to see what dr was in the ER, and to let him know that the telephoner was "allergic" to toradol (non-narcotic pain med) but wasn't a "seeker". Can someone say "red flags"?!? Me personally, toradol does wonders for my back pain.


Sorry, didn't have anything constructive to add, it's just that people who don't have real issues make it dificult for those of us that do.

I do believe that IF she signed a HIPPA release naming you or hubby, the doctor can talk to you. It is ,of course, his choice if he makes you pay for an appointment or will return a call.
Sounds like she needs to be treated for mythomania or hypochondria (which ARE classified as mental illnesses) . I hope she gets the help that she truly needs.
As far as helping her along the path of truthfulness, DON'T let her get a rise out of you. It only fuels her compulsion to behave in such a manner.
HTH
Crystal

Most docs are willing to speak with family members provided the necessary release is provided, esp with the concerned parents of such a young person. Yes, an adult, but still very young, and most people that age do still have their parents involved in important health concerns and other important areas of life.
     And given the history you described, I would assume nothing and check everything. Either that, or take the difficult step of ending your involvement in her medical concerns completely. You can't change who she is, but you can, and apparently have, control your own actions and not be an enabler.

Larra

I am inclined to step away and let her manage it on her own.    This is one of a series of problems with self-management that both twins have had.   We begged them to return to counseling last year, but they would not.   The girls' mom left them to be with her convicted sex offender father in Washington state when they were eight, and my husband has had custody of them and raised them himself.    I think they both have some serious emotional issues and have learned to play the "poor abandoned child" card situationally.    Their dad has toughened up considerably since he realized he was enabling them, and they have become very hostile because of the boundaries we have now set.    Grandma continues to enable them and feels that we are turning our backs on them.   My husband is a wonderful man, but this family certainly has its dysfunctions!   At any rate, it's a long and complicated matter.   Thanks so much for your input.