Buzz kill

Lisa H.
on 4/12/11 12:12 am - Whitehall, PA
 So, the joy of stepping on the scale has been killed by an e-mail from Siehara's teacher.

She kicked another student today and was sent immediately to in-school suspension.  She JUST got off her month long grounding to her room.  

Now what? How do I discipline her this time???  I am in the midst of texting her therapist and she does see her tonight.  Really?!?  really?!

HELP

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(deactivated member)
on 4/12/11 12:45 am
Lisa, 

   I am not a Mom nor do I play one in TV yet maybe you or her therapist can find out why she kicked the other student. Were they bullying her in some one and she reacted?

  As for punishment looks like she maybe back in her room or can you make her do some sort of community service??
Sara E.
on 4/12/11 2:39 am - Pennsylvania Furnace, PA
Lisa,
I agree with Beth, I would find out what caused her to kick then diciplice accordingly.  Caleb's last issue at school was antagonized greatly by some bullies so I did not come down on him too hard.  Get all the facts from all sides and follow your heart.

Sara


 

 
 


lynnc99
on 4/12/11 3:44 am
One key is that she has to be honest and tell the total truth about what happened.

If she says she was provoked, she needs to understand that retaliating with a physical act puts the focus on HER behavior....not on what someone else said or did. (and if another kid provoked her physically, you won't be able to find out what their consequences were because of confidentiality.)

As for punishment, I would keep it fairly immediate, rather than drawn out for any time over a week. Is the in school suspension for only one day? I would also want to meet with the school administration and maybe her counselor to get added information and let them know you are following up at home. Have her present at that meeting so she cannot dispute what is said.

And yes, see what the therapist advises.
Lisa H.
on 4/12/11 5:33 am - Whitehall, PA
 From what Siehara says, the boy was annoying her in the way he was saying the Pledge of Allegiance and she tapped him on the ankle to get him to stop.  He made a big production out of it because he is a drama queen..(her words).  

She had in-school this morning only.  Her therapist thinks she should be given extra chores and electronics taken away again.  

We are going to discuss during our session tonight.

Right now, Siehara is in her room begging me to go to Hebrew School tonight instead of therapy because she does not want to explain what happened one more time and does not like that she is supposed to tell her therapist everything about her life.  She doesn't like going and why does she have to.    She is also blaming her impulsive behavior on the fact that she didn't get much sleep last night.  

We ARE going to therapy and then we will be coming home.  I am NOT going to go to the gym tonight.  She needs to be home where she can go to bed early to make up for last night.

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Nicole0216
on 4/12/11 7:37 pm - Lancaster, PA
ah the joys of parenthood I guess. You can never let your gaurd down. You still rock on the scale dont let this take away your high.

She should go to therapy, she is making alot of excuses, and you definately need to get to the bottom of it. The fact that she doesnt like it is even more reason for her to go.

Good for you, hang in there
Lisa H.
on 4/12/11 9:51 pm - Whitehall, PA
Thanks Nicole... we are trying.. her therapist is a great one, in my opinion.  Siehara just doesn't want to admit her downfalls, which is another reason why she needs to go.  

While we were there, I made sure to let her know that I admitted to my "bad" weekend regarding food at MY Back to Basics class yesterday.  I knew that I had to admit the bad with the good in order to be able to learn from my mistakes and be accountable for my actions.  Her therapist reinforced my point by saying something along the lines of not expecting perfection, just great effort. 

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Liz R.
on 4/12/11 9:01 pm - Easton, PA
Ugh *hugs*

I agree with the therapist - extra chores and no electronics for a bit. If this was only provoked by her not being happy with how someone is doing something, unfortunately it is something that she is going to have to deal with for the rest of her life. Believe me there are people I want to kick in the shins and poke in the eye all day long! lol Sorry to joke about it, I know it's serious.

Hope that therapy went well once you got her there.
Lisa H.
on 4/12/11 9:48 pm - Whitehall, PA
 Don't be sorry to joke about it, Liz.. I know of many people like that, too.  

Thankfully, or maybe not, we know how to deal with it.

Therapy went well, I think.  The therapist pretty much pegged it that she didn't want to come and tell her about the day because she was embarrassed.  And again, this was all the more reason she needed to be there.  She told her that she was honored that she thought that much of her that she wanted to keep the negatives from her, but also explained that she is not there to judge, but to help her to make better decisions.  

I think the session went very well and in the next 2 weeks, I'm looking forward to a nice clean home! 

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dit657
on 4/12/11 9:51 pm - Boothwyn, PA
I can only offer HUGS - and lots of prayers....even if we're not the same faith, every little bit helps, right?


'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
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