my husband thinks im wierd

 we used to take naps during the day together as we are both disabled anyways i havent been sleepy during the day not sure why that is but im glad im not anymore i dont feel sleepy ALL the time it may have been all the junk i was putting in my body dragging me down anyways he thinks im wierd/mean cause i wont nap with him anymore he said he feels abandoned (wah wah) lol is this a normal feeling for him to be feeling i guess was my question anyone who has a spouse like this??

This is great news for you!  Could be the "junk", could be sleep apnea resolving already?  I don't know, but it sounds like a really good sign.

Relationships can change after surgery - I haven't had this specific problem - but others.  Keep in mind that it is you that is changing, and your husband may not be comfortable with it.  You might want to consider counselling to help deal with it.

Congrats on this small victory!
Laura

Hiya Sarah

Congratulations on your journey so far!

I'm pre-op so haven't dealt with this yet. Me and my partner like to have a Sunday afternoon nap, we don't get a lot of time together working long hours and he only stops over on a weekend so this is kind of our snuggling time

Anyhow, he's terried that i'm going to change after the op and I think it is a valid fear. Our partner's have been used to us looking and acting a specific way for so long when things start to change they might not know how to deal with the new us.

I'd sit him down and explain how even if things change, it (hopefully) won't change the way you feel about him and if possible try to find new ways for you both to have this time together

You need to nip those feelings in the bud ASAP. Whether that means a good long chat, or a few of those with a counselor- you two need to talk about these things. If he is feeling "abandoned" by you now, what about when you start leaving the house to exercise?

What about when you start getting complements from others? You both need to be on the same page, that this is a HUGE life change, and things are not going to stay the same.

You can stay happily together, but not if your communication breaks down. Take care of this now, before it snowballs into something larger. I speak from personal experience!

:Danni

I'm not a big sleeper, but my husband and I have already had a similar kind of head-butt.

He's been very supportive, but fairly distant. He's deployed, so he's not here to really see anything in person. He doesn't ask a lot of questions, and I'm not sure if he really grasps how bypass works. He's just kind of been an uninvolved cheerleader.

Anyway, I took some measurements today and have lost a total of 10" across my body since I started my pre-op diet. I'm pretty pleased. I told him about it, and he says, "That's great!" and then his voice dropped a little and he said, "Kinda makes me feel like I've been sitting on my ass doing nothing."

He's always struggled with his weight, and he can't be promoted until he loses more, so he's been working hard, but I know it's difficult for him.

So I replied, "I'm sorry, I won't tell you about my progress if it makes you feel bad." and he quickly changed his tune.

Communication is really important. There are GOING to be feelings of hurt, jealousy, and insecurity whenever one spouse makes significant changes for the better. It can leave the other spouse wondering what else is going to change. Will your relationship change? Your feelings for him? Your feelings about yourself and your situation?

It's a good idea to take time regularly to touch base and make sure he feels comfortable voicing any of those concerns, and reassuring him that, while things may be changing for you, your marriage is still solid and happy.