I'm losing and my hubby is gaining my weight

Ok guys I can't eat much of course and what I don't eat my hubby eats plus his food. Like today he had McDonald's for breakfast it was all of 1000 calories plus 48 carbs. Well I got a side of sausage and a folded egg I had about 2 bites and felt sick so I got ready to put in the trash. He says no I'm going to toast me some bread and put some jelly on it and eat it. When we go to dinner he eats his and watches to see what I'm going to eat so he can have the rest. Well needles to say he has gained so much weight. When we have sex he is so heavy on me now I want to tell him to get off. When I'm out I get so much attention from HOT guys with nice bodies and then I think I wish I could get my guy to workout he is so comfortable eating like a horse and would be surprised if I said anything. I don't want to say anything to him because I don't want him to feel like that since I made the decision to get surgery for my health that I'm trying to police his eating and weight. He is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easy so that is another reason I don't say anything. My kids have started doing the same thing as him waiting to see if I'm going to eat and then ask for what I don't eat I don't want them to start to gain weight as well. Growing up we were told to clean our plates and when my kids and hubby see me put food in the trash they are like mom there are people starving in Africa and your putting food in trash. But I put it in the trash so I won't be tempted to go back to it. SO I just need my OH people advise.

Well, when you're out you could put it in a doggie box and tell them no they can't have it because it's your lunch tomorrow.  It's your choice later if you actually want to eat it or throw it out when they aren't around. 

I would work on changing your kids' attitude towards food because it sounds like if you don't they are going to be in the same spot as you are in 10 to 20 years from now.

if it only takes you a couple of bites to get full then maybe you should eat off his plate and eliminate the temptation all together and shave some calories off his meal too.  That way you can go to a better, more nutritious place to eat without the extra cost.

Don't get me started on McDonald's food.....I will go off on that...... haven't you seen "supersize me" the documentary?   It's a terrible choice as well as taco hell, wendy's burgerking,  etc..... it's mostly fat and fillers hardly any nutritional value at all....that's why it's so cheap....that is the core of why america is what it is today!!!!!!!

I agree on the Fast food that is why I could not eat it I became so sick from it. Honestly since surgery we have saved so much money not eating out. That is a good idea I think I will ask him can we split something so I won't waste money or food. He is such a good guy and I couldn't bare to hurt his feelings and tell him he needs to slow down. When you have to grab something fast ie (fast food) what are some selections or places you go to?

I personally do NOT go to fast food joints....the only fast food place I will eat at is KFC grill chicken without the skin....That's it...Don't even know if you would consider that fast food or not.  I will go to other restaurants and pre-plan what I am going to order and ask for a to-go box immediately when the food comes. 

Mostly it all comes down to planning and doing what you plan.   You can plan plan and do more planning.....but you got to DO what you plan.

I grill about 6-7 chicken breasts once every 1.5- 2 weeks and cut it up into chunks and eat that...quick and easy....I also do tuna pouches....I cook a roast and weigh and store it in little containers in the freezer..ricotta bake freezes well..I have so many containers in the freezer of foods (all recipes from eggface).....cook up some lean ground meat or ground turkey 2-3 lbs and make taco meat....eat that with lettuce and cheese and sour cream and cheese (taco salad without the shell).....the meat alone freezes well too.

I travel for over two weeks of the month....meaning that I am away from home for over half of the month....I have become an expert on eating on the road....I take a lunch bag every where I go and it will have my water or diet green tea or RTD protein drink and string cheese, turkey pepperoni sticks, soy nuts, beef jerky, chicken chunks, deli meat (all of this is weighed out too in ziploc...no eyeballing anything)....I also have a membership to the YMCA which is in every town that I stay in as well except for one....then I walk outside....

I once went to taco bueno with my mother because that is where she wanted to eat and I sat there with my unsweet tea and watched her eat a taco salad......I refuse to eat that crap!!!!

Just because your hubby is eating there doesn't mean you should eat there too....that should be part of your lifestyle change as well....your commitmnet might motivate him to change and it will definately streer your kids in the right direction too.

I agree with the idea of planning on taking part of it home for another meal. When my wife had her DS a few years ago, it was mentioned in one of the support meetings that your problem is not an uncommon one. I was already in the "follow her down the scale" mode so I was little interested in finishing up her leftovers, and she quickly got into the mindset of being disappointed if she couldn't get 2, 3 or more meals from a restaurant meal. Now when we go to a Mexican place, she will usually order a 2 or 3 item combo plate, having one item there and the others for lunches and the leftover beans (the rice doesn't agree with her, so she doubles up the beans,) go with those lunches or as part of a third. You need to defend your turf!

He loved you when you were gaining weight, right? If your house was a "clean your plate" and "food doesn't get wasted" household pre-op, it might take more than a few months to get used to the change.
I'd either just eat a little bit off of his plate, or order a doggie bag right away. I'd also have nightly family walks before or after dinner. Everyone has to go, no choice.

From what you said, you aren't really going out to eat that much anymore, so thats probably not the primary reason your husband is gaining, right?  

But if you are eating out frequently, I'd work on changing that habit.  Its just so hard for someone who struggles with their weight to go out to eat frequently.  If you know ahead of time that you'll have to eat at fast food, prepare a cooler/picnic style lunch for the family.  Yes, it is more work, but I think the health of your children and husband has to be #1 (which of course you well know since you posted this in the first place).

If you are going to fast food for sure, no way around it, as for your portion - what about just ordering a grilled chicken breast with BBQ sauce or honey mustard sauce, no bun or anything?  That way, if someone steals your left overs, it is still lean protein, not fried crap.  

For eating at home, what about just cooking less food?  If you only cook enough for each person to get a "fair share," then their can't be any eating twice by waiting for your nearly-a-full-meal-leftovers, right?  Yes, it will be a big adjustment for your family, but it could also be a good opportunity to teach your kids what portion sizes are supposed to look like, and the whole balanced plate concept.

To address the "starving kids in Africa" thing - You could also point out to your kids and hubby that eating to excess is just as wasteful as putting food in the trash.  It is not needed to nourish our bodies, so cooking and eating too much is also being wasteful.

Hope some of these ideas help you!

Awww thanks that really helped. My hubby does eat out more then me now I have only joined him a few times he usually eats my food. However we used to eat out a lot together we used to call ourselves eating buddies. When I cook it's all healthy mostly eggface receipes. With my healthy cooking we are good. But when he stops on his way to work and on his way home by fast-food places he is continuing what we used to do. It's a change for the whole family and they have some what followed my lead in many different ways by being opened to healthy meals that actually taste great. It's just the fast food and eating out that is the hardest part. My family is all obese and I got the surgery for my health and to beat the odds of my family being obese. I have learned so much and I'm trying to transfer it to my kids and hubby but I guess since I have done the same things with them for years it will take some time and small changes that will eventually become lifestyle family changes.

You can't change other people.  Just focus on what YOU need to do to make yourself successful. 

Lead by example - especially for your kids.  If you aren't comfortable having sex with him at his higher weight...tell him so.  Don't be a doormat.

It seems like you are noticing and enjoying the attention from other men when you are out - seems like there is more going on than just him eating your leftovers. If you are changing physically, emotionally, attitude...whatever...then you need to be honest with him too.  Maybe some counseling.

Divorce is unfortunately a high statistic after WLS.  Get some help.